Saturday, November 1, 2008

Yes It's Drudge. Yes It's Zogby. Still . . .

ZOGBY: MCCAIN MOVES INTO LEAD 48-47 IN ONE DAY POLLING according to the Drudge Report.

. . . you may want to hold off on positioning the Greek columns and faux-presidential seal behind the Obama victory lectern. May want to hold off on placing the police barricades around Grant Park in Chicago.

And if you're an Obama supporter, you may want to get to the f**king polls on Tuesday. Bring a friend why don't you or are you too busy celebrating already. Yeah, I'm looking at you Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, the loathsome Chuck Schumer, the god awful Bill Richardson (thanks for the help on that $120,000 middle class tax cutoff statement to nowhere, pal), the wretched Joy Behar, the gruesome Keith Olbermann and the rest of MSNBC (except for Rachel Maddow who is cautious and humble in her infinite wisdom about these unpredictable election contests).

Could the rest of you shut the frig up and let Barack handle his business. The only people allowed to speak this weekend are as follows: Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Joe Biden (someone get Joe the Gaffer a teleprompter please), Colin Powell, Oprah Winfrey and Jesus Christ - if he decides to make an appearance. Christ is an Obama supporter. The meek shall inherit the earth - you know, spreading the divine wealth. Christ was the original redistributor.

3 days! In the words of Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday, "so . . . what are you going to do?"

***UPDATE***: After predicting an easy victory for John Kerry in 2004, Zogby offer this "mea culpa" four days after the election:

Released: November 08, 2004

Mea Culpa: I am a Pollster, Not a Predictor By John Zogby

Okay, I got it wrong. And I got it right. Last May, I did indeed say that John Kerry would win and, if he didn’t, it would be his fault . . .

In short, I also missed the boat and I feel I must explain what happened . . . I felt compelled to poll as late as I could and thought I saw a late-breaking trend for Kerry. Such a trend – fueled by a surge of young voters that was reported to us in our many calls to battleground cities on election day – did not materialize.

My polling was right. My ability to predict was wrong. For those of you who have supported my work over the years, I apologize. I will do better next time: I will just poll, not predict.

Did you learn your lesson, John? Doesn't appear so:

ZOGBY SATURDAY: Republican John McCain has pulled back within the margin of error... The three-day average holds steady, but McCain outpolled Obama 48% to 47% in Friday, one day, polling. He is beginning to cut into Obama's lead among independents, is now leading among blue collar voters, has strengthened his lead among investors and among men, and is walloping Obama among NASCAR voters. Joe the Plumber may get his license after all . . .

Was the Plumber comment necessary? Why don't you just poll, John, and keep the playful predictions to yourself? Take your own advice.

Get one election wrong, shame on Zogby. Get the next election wrong, shame on us for paying Zogby any heed. There won't be a third time.

***UPDATE***: Let me take my medicine. I'm better now. Thanks Gallup. Obama widens margin to double-digits in traditional and expanded methodologies surveying likely voters.

***UPDATE***: Can so many "experts" be dead wrong. Watching ABC's This Week with crusty morning eyes, I was flabbergasted by the margins of victory prognosticated by the panel as George Stephanopoulus went around the room:

George Will: 378 electoral votes to Obama.

Matthew Dowd: 338 electoral votes to Obama (plus a 7% popular vote margin).

Donna Brazile: 343 electoral votes to Obama.

Mark Halprin: 349 electoral votes to Obama

George Stephanopoulus: 353 electoral votes to Obama.

These are staggering predictions. They approach landslide numbers. They support the comparison made by some between McCain and Bob Dole's 1996 campaign (379 electoral votes to Clinton-Gore). These comport with our reader Mkit's projection of 349 electoral votes to Obama.

Pardon me if I'm not equally optimistic. Something in my gut tells me that a number of the battleground states - the margin-of-error states: Missouri, Indiana, North Carolina, Florida, etc. - will break McCain's way. Perhaps I've been watching Fox News too much. Dick Morris would have you believe we are looking at the 2000 election again. I'll get off the fence tomorrow evening and weigh in.

***UPDATE***: CASE CLOSED!!! What a difference a day of polling makes. Drudge cherry picks the outlier and gives us his political version of the 1938 Orson Welles War of the Worlds broadcast. Then, Zogby takes off his "predictor" hat and becomes a pollster again:

UTICA, New York -- After a strong day of polling for Republican presidential candidate John McCain on Friday, Democrat Barack Obama experienced a strong single day of polling on Saturday, retaining a 5.7 point advantage that is right at the edge of the margin of error of the Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby daily tracking poll. The race has remained remarkably stable down the stretch, this three-day rolling average poll shows.

I understand the right-wing punditry's need to make this a close race down the stretch. Don't you turn the channel when your favorite team is getting blown out in the second half?

GOP Boogeyman Du Jour: Zeituni Onyango

The right-wing blogosphere buzzes with today's RNC entry into the Obama character association royal rumble: "Ladies and gentlemen, entering the ring right now, weighing in at 103 pounds, hailing from Nairobi, Kenya, now fighting out of Boston, Massachusetts illegally, Barack Obama's deceased father's half-sister, "Auntie" Zeituni Onyango.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't with the fading-fast Rovian Empire. First, stop "pallin' around" with people. Then, start pallin' around with people. It's enough to make a guy stop running for president. But not this guy. And not this election.

So, what do you need to know? Can Auntie Z stop the foreclosure sale of my home? Does anyone in the Onyango family have a contact at Kaiser Permanente so I can get some damn health care? Is she a Muslim too like Barack Hussein Obama? Can someone please interview Victoria Jackson again (Hannity - you have a professional obligation to get VJ into the studio and push her for answers).

As reported by the New York Times, Auntie Onyango currently resides in Boston in public housing four years after an immigration judge denied her request for asylum. As mentioned, Onyango is the half-sister of Obama's deceased, estranged father. The Obama campaign stated Barack and Auntie Z encountered each other on a handful of occasions since 1992 when he traveled back to Kenya (where he was born of course - why else would he visit Kenya?). Their last communication occurred two years ago when Obama learned that she was currently living in Boston.

Today, the Obama campaign returned the $260 Onyango donated to the campaign in tiny increments upon learning of her illegal status within the United States.

For the storm troopers of the Rovian Empire, this means everything! From one of Hugh Hewitt's suckling pups:

So let me get this straight. Millionaire Obama doesn't use his wealth to help his poor illegal alien Aunt get out of public housing, but if I complain about Obama wanting to raise my taxes to 'spread the wealth around' I'm the selfish one?

No. If you're making below $250,000, you shouldn't complain about it, unless you were already grousing under the current Bush tax regime, because you will not incur a tax increase. That's 95% of you. For the other 5%, you can bellyache a bit, but Obama only asks for a 2% increase on your current federal rate.

Amazing! I flipped us back to the issues. That never happens!

By the way, instead of blithering about socialism, spreading the wealth, redistribution and this minute's "Real American" hero (I hear Tommy the Boxcar Hobo is on deck), why don't you visit this link during a fleeting moment of repose when a yearning to entertain serious conversation comes over you:

SNL Alum Victoria Jackson And Some Other Folks I Forget Slam Barack Obama, Al Franken

The RNC taps A-list Hollywood power brokers as mega-celebrities unite against Al Franken in Minnesota:

A veritable "who's who" list of today's brightest stars like . . . um . . . Victoria Jackson, blond uber-ditz, used to do some sketch comedy I think. And . . . er . . . Stephen Baldwin? Or is that Billy? Isn't Danny dead? Well, it's definitely a Baldwin - the one who hosted Scare Tactics. Robert Davi? Oh sure! The villain in that Bond movie. No, not the one with Daniel Craig. Um, no, not the movies starring Pierce Brosnan. Before that - Timothy Dalton. Played drug lord Franz Sanchez in License to Kill. In fairness, he did get blown up flying the chopper in Die Hard as Agent Johnson. No, not the black Agent Johnson. "The other one."

Hey! Cliff Clavin from Cheers! Where's Norm?

These incandescent luminaries make a compelling case against Franken, but Victoria Jackson really gave me pause to rethink my support of Obama. From here eponymous website, Victoria Jackson - the Official Website (meaning don't be fooled by the thousands of other websites devoted to the erstwhile SNL player from the eighties. Accept no imitations.):

I don't want a political label, but Obama bears traits that resemble the anti- Christ and I'm scared to death that un- educated people will ignorantly vote him into office.

You see, what bothers me most, besides being a Communist, and a racist (Obama writes in his book, From Dreams of My Father, "I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and and animosity against my (white) mother's race.") (Obama's "religion" of the last 20 years is Black Liberation Theology. What is that? "It is simply Marxism dressed up in Christian rhetoric. But unlike traditional Marxism, Black Liberation Theology emphasizes race rather than class . . . He pretends to be a Christian and he incriminates himself everytime he speaks about Christianity. To lie about being a believer in Christ is very dangerous. Lightning could strike him at any minute! But seriously, he doesn't have a clue what the Bible says and yet he pretends to be a church- going Christian to win votes. That is sooooo evil.

Publicizing her erudition comes at a price and Jackson will pay the liberal piper:

I know my stance might keep me from LA jobs, since (almost) the whole town is liberal but, some time in a man's life, or a bleach blonde 49 year old woman's life, one must stand for what they believe in, and put truth before popularity.

What a martyr! With a full understanding that her incontestable lack of talent prevents her from getting meaningful work in Hollywood, Jackson still has the guts to posit no jobs would be available even if she had talent.

But the crazy talk express has a full head of steam now! Jackson continues with a quote from USA Wake UP, an unflinching "think tank" on the vanguard of political science, and propagates its wisdom so that all may benefit:

"We must in all seriousness ask if Barack Hussein Obama could be a Muslim terrorist sympathizer or a Marxist mole. His closest friends include Communists, domestic and Muslim terrorists, racists and convicted felons. In his book Audacity of Hope, Barack Hussein Obama says, "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction."

"It is ironic and ominous that just 7 years after Islamic fundamentalist terrorists blew up the World Trade Center, that America may be about to elect a President with three Islamic names - Barack Hussein Obama - who has an Islamic education (in Indonesia), and strong Islamic ties and leanings."

Three? Three Islamic names? Not one - I mean we could have lived with Barack Joe Wurzelbacher. Could we work with two Islamic names? Perhaps, but that third American name better ooze patriotism: Barack Toby-Keith Obama is still pretty innocuous. But three?!?! Might as well grow a Bin Laden beard, Obama. You ain't foolin' nobody!

Wait! "McCain" is an Irish name, no? Have we explored his connections to the IRA?

Sigh . . . bring us home, Victoria. Finish your testimony:

Come On America! Wake Up! How stupid can you people be?!

One of the leading Islamic Extremist organizations, Hamas, endorsed Obama! HELLO!

HOPE Americans start researching the candidates before they vote, and that they
CHANGE from ignorance and/or apathy to a passion for the Truth!

Knowledge is power, Victoria. We're on the same page. I'm ready to start my research into the candidates - could you recommend the place in the Bible to begin? Leviticus? Deuteronomy? No, you're right - skip to the good part about Obama: Revelation.

***UPDATE***: You really cannot appreciate mental instability until you see it in action:

***UPDATE***: Victoria Jackson calls Barack Obama a "communist" against her husband's wishes. He believed the euphemistic "Marxist" to be more palatable for O'Reilly's forward-thinking audience. Man, if she was afforded one more segment, I guarantee you the awesome anti-Christ comparisons would have seeped out. Way to not ask the necessary follow-up, "Billy" (as your hetero-life partner Dennis Miller coos during his unwatchable segments):

Friday, October 31, 2008

FOR THE RECORD: Republican Apparatchik Guarantees McCain Victory!

Liberal Halloween Fright Fest! Could you imagine a successor cover for the New York Times on November 5, 2008? I cannot. I will not.

The Potatoe gives you its first installment of "On The Record," where we record for posterity the most brazen and bold of the uber-right-wing pundit class (i.e., the "conservative elite," spawned from McCain's "I know everything" debate performances) predicting - and, in some cases, guaranteeing - a rousing comeback by the GOP ticket in the final days, culminating in a shocking defeat of Barack Obama on Tuesday.

The "Dewey Defeats Truman" whisper campaign has begun to trickle out (oh, sorry, trickle down) to the grass roots Republican rabble in the pit, now begging their conservative lords to guide them in their hour of uncertainty.

Fear not, Real Americans! The polls are bogus. The media deceives. Obama is a Muslim!!!!! Hear me!!!!

(1) Let's begin with the man who once called Andy Martin an "Internet powerhouse," Andy Martin. Andy predicts McCain by a "whisker, and not much of a whisker at that":

"Let me make my prediction. John McCain wins the White House by a whisker. The race could admittedly go either way. But if present trends continue, McCain will squeak through to victory. He is not George Bush, heaven forefend, and he is not Bob Dole."

You remember Andy Martin and his special brand of grass roots conservatism. He's the guy who once called a federal bankruptcy judge a "crooked, slimy Jew, who has a history of lying and thieving common to members of his race." By the way, you should visit Andy's website obviously entitled The Andy Martin story: A detailed biography of Andy Martin's inspirational life story. Pretty impressive bio. Perhaps that's what attracted Hannity when he agreed to give Martin airtime on his Fox News weekend show. I'm giving Hannity the benefit of the doubt here. I'm presuming that Martin's great success as a jurist who once penned in a complaint, "I am able to understand how the Holocaust took place, and with every passing day feel less and less sorry that it did, when Jew survivors are operating as a wolf pack to steal my property" wasn't the angle that enticed Fox News' booking agent.

Oh, here's a picture of Andy Martin in case you see him on the street and want to invite him to Shabbat dinner:

(2) My personal favorite. Gene Owens makes a no-guarantee guarantee:

"John McCain will be the next president. If McCain wins, send this column to all your friends, and maybe to The New York Times, Washington Post and CNN. If Barack Obama wins, forget I said it . . . McCain is a long shot, I know, but if the prediction is off a tad and Obama wins, nobody will remember. If it's on target, I go straight to the top of the prognosticating heap and maybe I get invited to join the best election team on television as, at least, a consultant."

Way to climb out on the ledge over that two foot drop, Gene. Then again, we admire your keen understanding of our king-making culture. The Potatoe is similarly cognizant of the mechanics of lightning-in-a-bottle American fame. But we will go a step further than Mr. Owens and over a three foot precipice: The Potatoe predicts that Barack Obama will win. He if doesn't, John McCain will win. And Ralph Nader will not win. You heard it here first.

(3) Ah, let's wrap up this first edition of "On The Record" with the progenitor of right-wing talk radio, the godfather, the pill-popping pillar of "Real American" values, the corpulent champion of conservatism, the "IT WAS ABOUT RACE!!!!!" raconteur of Republican virtue, El Rushbo. Wonder what his take will be:

My gut is starting to talk to me, ladies and gentlemen. As you know and as I discussed over the course of the previous week, my gut was not giving me any indication whatsoever, and my gut started talking to me last night. Barack is headed back to Iowa. That should be a lock. It's a dead heat. Sarah Palin headed there on Monday, to Dubuque. Pennsylvania, Florida, Ohio, Nevada -- well throw Pennsylvania out of there -- Florida, Ohio, Nevada, look like pretty good McCain certainties here, pretty good, depending on who you listen to. It's Friday, and let's go . . .

Wait for it . . .

Dead heats in two key swing states now, even The Politico reporting this, North Carolina and Missouri, "Even though Obama is strongly outpacing McCain in two of those states' crucial battleground counties, according to new Politico/InsiderAdvantage polls." I'm telling you, things are tightening up out there.

Wait for it . . .

My gut tells me this can be won. This is about turnout. This is about voting. This is about everybody showing up to vote. I am getting e-mails from people who are literally scared of what an Obama presidency will mean to this country. I have never seen this kind of fear among people. I mean what got in reaction to President Clinton's candidacy in 1992 was nothing compared to the overall fear that I am seeing from people in the e-mail and when I talk to them personally about the election of Barack Obama.

Annnnnnnnnnd, cue pander! I said "cue pander?" Hello?

Admittedly, Rush stop juuuuuuust shy of guaranteeing a McCain victory . . . until he was interviewed by London Telegraph correspondent, Nigel Farndale, and could no longer contain this gassy belch:

Talk radio giant Rush Limbaugh says that Sen. John McCain will score a stunning upset over Sen. Barack Obama and win the presidency on Nov. 4 . . .

Limbaugh said the mainstream media has been pushing Obama’s candidacy because “They want to be able to say they did it if Obama wins.”

To which Farndale countered, “Well, he is going to win, isn’t he?”

Limbaugh’s response: “No, I don’t see it Nigel. I think [Obama has] been dead in the water since the primaries. He is going to need to be up 10 to 12 points to win by 3 or 4.”

I'm sure the Potatoe will have an update as Rubenesque Rush brings his whopper of a prediction into better focus.

In honor of Limbaugh, this story is "expanding . . ."

Race To The Bottom

Shameful, though at this point "shameful" has become a platitude when it comes to the RNC's surrogates' ground efforts:
Don't worry - it only circulated to 70,000 residents in Hernando County, Florida. The front organization here is the generically named "Concerned Citizens of America," not registered with the state of Florida as a political action committee.

I feel the "Concerned Citizens of Real America" would have been more apropos.

Never Gonna Give You Up!

Oldie, but goodie. We are cleaning out our inventory. Everything must go! Four day closing sale:

Palin to the Supreme Court

Following up on the embarrassingly ignorant response to the question about the role of the vice president showing her total ignorance of the U.S. Constitution, I guess this shouldn't surprise me. But it does. I have this weirdly quaint notion that the people we elect to hold the highest federal offices in the land should have at least a passing familiarity with our laws. I'm a huge dick that way. Given how shockingly, disturbingly, dangerously and cosmically wrong Palin is on this one, I question whether she has ever read the U.S. Constitution even in comic book form.

As reported in the Huffington Post, Palin was interviewed on a conservative (shocker!) radio show this morning and told WMAL-AM that her criticism of Obama's associations, like those Bill Ayers and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, should not be considered negative attacks. Palin suggested that reporters who suggested that this is a negative attack may be threatening her free speech rights under the Constitution. Yes. Seriously.

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations," Palin told host Chris Plante, "then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

Now, here's the thing, this is not just wrong, it's the exact opposite of right. The First Amendment to the Constitution protects Freedom of the Press, not freedom of the government. It ensures the press' right to freely question the government or a political officeholder, and protects the rights OF the press FROM the government. It does NOT protect elected officials from the scrutiny of the press. When the press criticizes a political candidate or an elected official, that is an example of First Amendment rights being exercised, not abridged.

As Rachel Weiner notes, this isn't just a demonstration of profound ignorance of our liberties, it's also giving voice to the "standard right-wing grievance instinct: that it's inherently unfair when they're criticized. And now, apparently, it's even unconstitutional." Well said.

We Will Help You Pay For School Says Obama, Conservatives Cry Foul

Quick note: Listening to Townhall radio right now - i.e., "intelligent conservative radio," and no it's not an oxymoron - and Michael Medved leads in to a segment with a sound byte from Obama on the stump, warranting that his would-be administration will help America's youth pay for college.

Here's the snippet from Obama: "I will make college affordable for every American. Period."

Medved is apoplectic! America "moving in the direction of France or Sweden." Bigger government! Redistribution! Socialism! He describes a November 4 imprimatur for an Obama presidency as "lurching to the left."

Have the hardened, corroded right-wingers become so out of touch with the dire straits of the voting populace to believe that anyone wouldn't support an economic plan including just a smidgen of help with college tuition? I mean is this even an issue? Even contrarians like myself can't find a bone to pick with this no-brainer.

In fairness to Medved, he's probably been chewing the fat again with Dennis Prager. You know Prager - he's the brilliant voice in "intelligent conservative radio" who told me this morning on my way to work at the brick foundry outside of Cody, Wyoming that "college makes people dumb." Here's a picture of Prager in case you see him on campus and want to get some of your retard drool on his penny loafers:

***UPDATE***: Medved continues to gather torches for the mob, this time bemoaning another Obama rallying call for a "fundamental change." Medved quibbles, "most Americans do not want a fundamental change of this country."

Why don't we let "most Americans" speak for themselves in four days?

***UPDATE***: "We are five days away from fundamentally transforming America." For Hugh Hewitt, this means destroying the military, higher taxes, the end of the free market, a "regulatory state," etc. You know - the "blah blah blah" for John McCain, thrown into "dick-fingered" air quotes. By the way, Hewitt believes not only that McCain will win, but "the numbers could be big" in his favor. Boo! Boo Democrats! Boooooooooooooooo!

"The Miracle Of World History"

Al Gore returns to the crime scene in his estimation and campaigns for Barack Obama in Florida. "Take it from me . . . elections matter." Gore has 537 reasons to back that statement:

Never was a big fan of Gore. However, when he refers to the United States as the "Miracle of World History" there is a genuineness in his voice that uplifts.

I'm Afraid

I'm willing to admit it - I'm scared of Tuesday, no matter which way the vote goes. And an article in the Pinko Times (New York Times to you Socialists who don't know its "real" name) supports my biggest fear.

In a poll of over 1300 registered voters, the numbers in terms of candidate support were about the same as most other polls (except the one posited by Bill O'Reilly, which, to be fair, has a margin of error of 101%), showing Obama with a solid lead. Those, however, are not the numbers that give me some concern about what will happen not Tuesday, but rather Wednesday:

The survey found that opinions of Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain had hardened considerably, as 9 out of 10 voters who said they had settled on a candidate said their minds were made up, and a growing number of them called it “extremely important” that their candidate win the election. Roughly half of each candidate’s supporters said they were “scared” of what the other candidate would do if elected. Just 4 percent of voters were undecided, and when they were pressed to say whom they leaned toward, the shape of the race remained essentially the same.

These are the numbers that are starting to frighten me. A growing number on both sides feel it's "extremely important" that their guy win. Everyone involved here feels that nothing less than the very future of America is at stake on Tuesday. And even if Senator Obama wins by the forecasted ten percent - a pretty substantial margin of victory - that still means that approximately 2 out of 5 people in America will likely, according to this poll, be not only disappointed, but "scared" - and possibly very, very angry.

I am concerned at this point that no matter which direction the election goes, there could be a substantial number of violent incidents during and immediately following the outcome. Perhaps never before has the country been so polarized and so deathly afraid (on both sides) of the "other guy" winning.

But there's another more sinister factor: race. Let's remove our PC rose colored glasses for a moment and be honest. If Obama wins, there is a not insubstantial percentage of the white electorate that will be despondent, terrified - and possibly violently so. If McCain pulls off the upset, I will go on record as saying it is my view that many African Americans will feel this is the ultimate outrage and paradigm of White America stealing just one more thing from the Black community - but this time, possibly the most important thing in the world. And I think many of them will feel this is their own personal breaking point.

Am I predicting race riots, a replay of Watts or Rosewood depending on the outcome? No, I don't think so. But do I see this election cycle passing without incident? No. I think we've come very far as a country. However, considering what's at stake on Tuesday, I think that no matter the outcome, some Americans of one color are going to feel the country has been hijacked by Americans of another color... and I think it is naive in the extreme to believe they will take that news absolutely peacefully.

I hope I am wrong and underestimate the American electorate. Something tells me I am not.

BREAKING: Exotic Jungle Muslim to Steal From Rich

A lot of ink (sidebar: what do you call "ink" in the internets?) has been spilled over the radical plan of the thieving Arab and his nefarious scheme to bring an exotic jungle muslimness to his communist financial policies lately, most of it focusing on his tax proposal to steal bread right out of the mouths of underrepresented wealthy white people and "spread it around" (sounds a lot like "palling around, no?") to the unwashed huddled masses, who will only use it to smoke crack and avoid working. Barack Obama's plan, McShame would have you think, is not only to create Marxist/Leninist Communist society, but also to rape your mother. At least, that's what it sounds like he's saying based on the derision in his creepy voice.

Well, being only one or two IQ points above full-retard, I was convinced. Obama is a socialist, wanted to give all my hard-earned blogger money to poor people (each and every one of whom I find appalling in their own, poor, way) and his tax plan was basically to kill America. Hey Obama, love it or leave it! USA USA USA! And then I read this article in the Daily Worker, and the independent analysis done really explained the differences in Obama's and McShame's tax plans. And let me just say, I find it surprising. The most interesting point to me, and only because of fear being generated over Obama's "socialist" plan to redistribute the wealth from the rich to the poor, is the following:

For married couples with incomes of $500,000 with two children and both parents working, the Tax Policy Center found that Mr. Obama would raise income taxes by $3,363, from $110,955 now, while Mr. McCain's plans would leave taxes unchanged. Deloitte found that a $500,000-a-year couple would pay $3,100 more under Mr. Obama, with no change under Mr. McCain.

In other words, a family earning $500,000 under McCain pays $110,955 in taxes and has $389,045 left after taxes, while under Obama the same family pays $114,318 in taxes and has $385,582 left after taxes. You can draw your own conclusions from this, but it doesn't sound like wealth redistribution to me.

Jack Knowledge's independent analysis? Anyone making $500,000 who, by definition, isn't as good looking as I am can go suck it.

Palin to Unnamed Sources: "Come Forward"; Unnamed Sources to Palin: "You don't really get how this works, do you?"

Sarah Palin, in a candid interview with Fox News (courageous of her to give an unvarnished and unscripted look into her life and views to such a fair and balanced network), said that she still holds out belief that she and John McCain are going to win.

"I truly believe that the wisdom of the people will be rebuilt on [Election Day]."

Now, I'm not sure what that means. I'm just a nuclear power safety engineer here in Springfield, so I don't know much 'bout history. But I'm pretty sure that doesn't make sense on several levels.

However, the real point was that Sarah Palin said that she is not going anywhere, win or lose. She's here for the long haul. Get used to her. (Tina Fey, if 30 Rock doesn't work out, looks like you'll have steady employment even after Tuesday. Phew...)

But Palin also took on the unnamed Republican sources that have said recently that she's "off message" or "rogue" or "a whack job." She showed her astute and canny understanding of the process, by challenging these shadow figures to come out and fight like a man. Woman. Whatever.

Palin insisted none of it is true, and she challenged the unnamed sources to come forward and say it to her face.

"I have never met any of those who I have heard to have written something or say something negative," Palin said. "I would love to meet these people, have a conversation instead of them superficially making a statement like that. It would be nice if they would take it a step further and at least interview me."

Now, I don't want to nitpick you Sarah, but unnamed sources don't "interview" you. They call reporters who then interview them. And unnamed sources generally don't meet you face to face in the yard at recess or after school. Generally the way it works is that they undermine you from within anonymously. I know that's difficult in Alaskan politics because everyone involved was on yearbook staff with you in Wasilla, so it doesn't take Nancy Drew to figure out who would say what. But here in clever-clever land, it's a little different. This has been happening for, oh, about two hundred or so years.

It is jarring that someone who insists that they're a ready-for-prime-time player is so acutely aware of detractors and clearly so rankled by them that she challenges them to step forward and confront her. If you are vice president or, Allah forbid, president, you will have several million detractors. Frankly, you already do. It's the nature of politics and a two party system. And you think every one of them within the government or even your own party should march into your office personally and give you a chance to catfight it out? Wow. Hope you saw Diggstown.

Sarah Palin: ready to lead America... and if you disagree, meet her behind science lab at 3 pm and say it to her face, punk.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Latest Straight Talk Making the Rounds

This video is apparently making conservatives melt. He mentions Robot Chicken, so it can't be all bad.

This might shock you, but I take exception to the notion that everyone - and this guy claims ev-e-ry-one - that supports Obama has been brainwashed into doing so. Yes, this concept of marginalizing the opposition is not monopolized by the right, but that doesn't make it acceptable. It smacks of arrogance and simple delusion - which aren't good things when the (apparent) intent of the video is to convince people to change their minds. The choir will eat this up, but what good will that do Palin/McCain?

Hat tip to faithfull reader Clamshucker for sending the video. You dirty shucker.

The Ineffable Reverend Jeremiah Wright

Michael Goldfarb? Dude looks like one of my meathead fraternity brothers from Auburn who used to light his farts on fire and kick the crap out of pledges for "eye-ballin' him." Is McCain resorting to interns as mouthpieces? Where have all the GOP cowboys gone? Iron your shirt, Goldfarb. Anyone have a comb?

On the other hand, the pathos of McCain's loyal, tongue-tied abettors is palpable. "We both know who the number 2 guy is" - i.e., the other radical besides Khalidi finding no favor with the state of Israel under the auspices of the United States.

If McCain is vanquished on Tuesday, the political post mortem has to begin with the campaign's peculiar decision to leave the most demonic toy in the trunk when so many other diabolical action figures came out to play with the electorate.

Oh, since I'm not bound by the strictures of the ticket, allow me to present "the Number 2 guy":

Probably my biggest criticism of Senator Obama. The guy McCain won't talk about.

***UPDATE**: . . . McCain won't talk about and now won't have to. As reported by Talking Points Memo:

Get ready for a deluge of Wright rantings.

The National Republican Trust PAC, which has been airing an ad attacking Barack Obama's association with Reverend Wright in three battleground states, has now put down for a national buy on five networks that will last from now through election day, a consultant with the group confirms to me.

The ad will run nationally on Fox, CNN, ABC, CBS, and NBC for the next five days, the consultant, Rick Wilson, says -- "all the way until election day."
The ad, which you can watch here, features the now-infamous footage of Wright's livelier sermons, and intones that Obama "never complained" about Wright "until he ran for President," adding that Obama is "too radical, too risky."

Previously, the ad was only running in Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Florida, as Ben Smith reported the other day.

Now, however, the ad will run nationally, Wilson says, adding that the group just got through getting the spot vetted with network lawyers and is good to go.

I mean did you really think you would get through this election cycle without the Wright hobgoblin striking fear in the hearts of "Real Americans?" It's Halloween. We're supposed to be fearful.

Works out nice for McCain too. Plausible deniability. If he loses the election, but the Wright ad airs on a continuous loop, he maintains the moral high ground and can live with himself as he blithely enjoys dinner theater and early bird specials in Fort Myers, Florida. If he wins, same difference - I wouldn't expect a principled stand by the McCain campaign against a PAC's infection of this race with Wright in the gloaming hours. John's scruples only extend so far and only to whom he can justifiably call "his people."

So begins the 72-hour Republican blitzkrieg. The bottom-of-the-ninth GOP scare-a-palooza. In 2004, it was an audio tape from Bin Laden. Just reminding us to "gird your loins" as the terror alert level was raised to a new Crayola color: "We're F**ked Red."

Obama has endured the political maelstrom for two years and still sees clear skies. Chin up, liberals. If he does manage to survive one more weekend, think what a free pass he'll enjoy on character issues in 2012. Obama's gang of cruddy associations won't play twice. We all hated Scream 2.

Jungle. Muslim. Breast.

I'll admit, a week or two ago I would have seen this mock McCain advertisement (pronounced "ad-VERT-issmint," because I'm a fancy English gentleman) and laughed and laughed and laughed. Today, I watch it and the only thing that shocks me is that it isn't a real McCain ad. Yet.

We're beyond the bottom of the barrel at this point. With only 5 days left, McShame is standing in a hole he dug through the bottom of the barrel, 60 feet below sea level. And he's still digging. Some of McCain's smears in the homestretch have made the ones in my underwear pale in comparison, and believe me, that's saying something.

My sources in Vegas tell me the odds on McCain referencing Obama's exotic jungle muslimness in the next 4 days just went to 3:2

"I'm John McCain and I call a stereo system a Victrola."

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Bateman to LA Times: Release the Hounds, er, Tape

So Sam Donaldson wrote an editorial on today about "Video Tape That Won't Be Released"-gate. This is what our friend over at The Kansas Citian referenced in some of his comments on our site yesterday.

Apparently, this is the situation:

The McCain campaign is demanding that the Los Angeles Times release a videotape it possesses of Sen. Barack Obama attending (and speaking) at a dinner for Rashid Khalidi, a Palestinian-American activist, many years ago when Obama was in the Illinois State Senate. Also at the dinner was the Weatherman co-founder William Ayers.

Apparently at this dinner, Khalidi said many things that Americans, particularly Jewish-Americans, would not find very appropriate or amusing. Sam Eyebrows continues:

So, why won't the Los Angeles Times release the tape? Because it says it obtained it on condition that it wouldn't. The Times points out that it was the news organization that brought the matter to public attention in the first place by doing a full story. And as far as its agreement not to release the tape, the paper says, "the Times keeps its promises to sources."

Now, it IS interesting that this story didn't gain much traction until the last few days. Hell, I'd never even heard of this alleged tape until very recently even though the Times apparently did a story about it last April - although it should be pointed out that I often don't hear about news until it bops me on the head.

So Donaldson goes on to say that the GOP has a point - the tape should be aired so everyone can see what exactly is on it - but that the Times' promise to its source is more important, because nothing should trump journalistic integrity and the Times promised to keep the tape confidential. Thus, concludes Sam I Am, they are doing the right thing, end of discussion.

Respectfully, Sammy, I disagree. I'm a raging liberal - have been since my days in that barbershop quartet back in Skokie - but there are limits. This is not painted as the usual case of protecting a source. When a source's name or identity is protected by the media, due to danger of reprisals or the like, that is one thing. That sort of thing must be protected in order to allow people to come forward. This situation, however, is not the same.

Unless disclosure of this tape would without question implicate the person who provided it as the source (which seems odd - was he the lone person with a camera in the room?), keeping a promise to keep the tape confidential is protecting nobody but Barack Obama (potentially).

This is not keeping the name of a whistleblower secret. This is keeping the contents of a tape secret from the American public at a time when they are going to be electing their next leader. One of the allegations tossed around is that Obama pals around with terrorists and harbors sympathies for Muslim extremists. This tape seems to me to be the most direct evidence to date that some of that might have some traction (discussed further below). But yet we are not going to have an opportunity to see it and decide for ourselves.

I'm usually a hard-line liberal, but sometimes you must step back and use common sense. Unless disclosure of this tape could potentially harm the source of the tape in some obvious way (in which case, I retract my comments), the LA Times should not be able to hide behind the "confidential source" chestnut tree in this game of "hide and go seek Obama's terrorist pals." Honoring a source's request that you keep something from the public eyes seemingly "just because" is not good enough.

I am going to the polls on Tuesday. My vote is for Barack Obama. But if the Senator has been at dinners and, to paraphrase Governor Palin, "palling around" with divisive elements such as Mr. Khalidi, I have a right to know about it. And that right - along with the right of the other 250 million folks like me - trumps the "confidential source" protection in this situation.

Now, let's be fair here: Khalidi denies being a PLO spokesman, as many have accused him. He is a respected scholar even if his views on Israel and the Middle East are not the same as most Americans. Is he a terrorist? No, I don't believe that he is. But he most certainly is a divisive and somewhat inflammatory figure in the ongoing discussion of the Arab-Israeli question, and we have the right to know what Barack Obama's relationship was and is with him and to what extent.

However, let's also be fair about this on the other side. John McCain has a prior relationship with Khalidi as well. As HuffPo reports:

During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars. A 1998 tax filing for the McCain-led group shows a $448,873 grant to Khalidi's Center for Palestine Research and Studies for work in the West Bank. The relationship extends back as far as 1993, when John McCain joined IRI as chairman in January. Foreign Affairs noted in September of that year that IRI had helped fund several extensive studies in Palestine run by Khalidi's group, including over 30 public opinion polls and a study of "sociopolitical attitudes."

So let's be fair. The LA Times tape is not a smoking gun story. This is not video of Obama strapping up suicide bombers in Ramallah. McCain's had affiliation with the guy too. But it is something that should be added to the overall mix of information out there. There are times for discretion. There are times for full disclosure. It is important that our media outlets have the good sense to discern one from another, especially with everything at stake on Tuesday.

If A GOP Ticket Falls In A Forest . . .

At a McCain event this morning in Defiance, Ohio (aptly named as McCain defies statistics and maps), 6000 of the enthusiastic faithful rallied to hear stories of "Real American patriotism" and the wickedness of Islamosocialism.

Unfortunately, less than 2000 of them can vote.

Not sure about the voting eligibility status of crickets.

If You Couldn't Gather From The Cradle Of Life Music . . .

. . . John McCain thinks Barack Hussein Obama is Muslim or at least has a Muslim name or at least wants YOU to think he is Muslim (if for only one day next Tuesday):

Just when I think John McCain's campaign could not disgust me more, he reinvents himself and reaches new heights in election year destestability.

New Reuters/CSPAN/Zogby poll just released: John McCain is now within the margin-of-error from being a vomitous cretin. Just 5 days to go! You can do it, John. Go get that Los Angeles Times tape. You know, the one where Barack Obama is probably - just speculating here, I mean I know what the Los Angeles Times reported about the tape in detail back in April - burning an American flag and shouting "Death to America." Maybe he has a bomb strapped to his chest. Maybe Ayers, Khalidi and Obama are "three sheets to the wind," reciting windy passages from The Communist Manifesto and spinning maudlin yarns about the halcyon days of the proleteriat.

Keep pushing for tapes, sound bytes, clips, affidavits, photographs, forensic evidence, fortunes from cookies, "magic 8 ball" revelations, testimony from psychics, smoking guns, Elizabeth Hasselbeck's "thought" (singular - cannot generate multiple thoughts), whatever, showing Barack Obama cannot stomach America and seeks to shred the fabric of democracy from within.

If you try hard enough, Bob McRumpson, you may browbeat Fake America into unqualified capitulation. We'll hate gays, stretch the necks of abortionists and keep all of our money upstairs with the top 1% (you know, the conservative elite) and hope some of it trickles down when the rich are overwhelmed by a fleeting spasm of munificence (call me if there's a hurricane, tsunami or tornado. Other than that? Get off my lawn!).

We'll read the Constitution literally and dogmatically (even if that provision counting one black as 3/5 of a vote should rear its mildly controversial head again). We'll support strict constructionist judges who interpret words with their plain meaning as long as plain meaning comports with their world views.

We'll elect officials imbued with the holy spirit, to win the kulturkampf against the secularists and bring them to their knees . . . in prayer. Oh we will pray. We'll pray in school, pray before every class, pray before bed, pray before meals, pray before Kirk Cameron, pray we are not speaking Chinese in 20 years, pray the terrorists leave us alone, pray that God intervenes in this election, pray for the big, bad storms to leave the Gulf of Mexico, pray not that America is on the side of God, but that God is on the side of America (I may have muddled that).

Most of all, we will pray that God rids our country of the scourge of science, the dark magic of scientist-idolaters foisted upon our good citizens, with its hocus-pocus and artifices, misrepresenting the world as 4.7 billion years. We will pray that intelligent design is taught in our schools rather than this sham sorcery, along with bible study in the time slots normally reserved for such impious pursuits like physics, chemistry or biology. We will pray that our history books contain colorful graphics - like a caveman riding a T-Rex.

We will "drill, baby, drill" at the behest of America's foremost energy expert, and suck up that teeny-weeny drop of Alaskan crude, mainline it into our automotive vein and then go back to desert sheiks, hat-in-hand, asking for a bit more of the Arabian black sniff because it's 2020 and our gas-guzzlers are decidedly out of gas.

We will never look to Europe or beyond our borders for ideas and innovations. Limeys and frogs - keep your universal health care. Our 42,000,000 uninsured don't want any of your socialist quackery. We prefer to amputate our gangrenous limbs with a butter knife in the comfort of our housing project thank you very much.

We will not read newspapers. We'll stay woefully uninformed. We'll embrace hypocrisy. We'll demand the end of abuses of power as we abuse power ourselves. We'll shake things. We'll ruffle feathers. We'll be mavericks or reformers or maverick-reformers. We'll prop up clods like Joe the Plumber, deify him and buttress his astute political commentary - that our opponents would seek the death of Israel - with soaring "USA" chants. We will put a boot in EVERYONE'S ass on Toby Keith's command.

Etc., etc., etc., etc. . .

Thanks for the reminder, John, of what I should do on November 4. I look forward to your next campaign ad.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Prediction? . . . Pain! Thanks Clubber Lang!

2004 Electoral Map: 100,000 votes in Ohio decide the election.

With less than a week to go, Tim Carney from the GOP stalwart Evans-Novak Political Report offers his November 4 prediction. And my gut tells me Carney is not far off:

- Foresees an Obama victory, becomes the first African-American President of the United States. Pretty remarkable stuff.

- However, deems talk of a Democratic landslide and an unambiguous political mandate to be ludicrous. Fingers a popular vote total for Obama around 52%.

- As for the electoral college, Carney sees a "big win, but not a Reaganesque one" finding certain battleground states where Obama boasts a small lead now to actually lean towards McCain.

- Carney sees the board playing out in this fashion: Florida, Ohio, Indiana, Missouri, North Dakota, Nevada, Florida and North Carolina to McCain. Colorado, New Hampshire, New Mexico and Virginia to Obama. Final electoral tally? 286 to 252. A close race, but greater than the margin of Bush's victory in 2000 over Gore (271-267) and equal to Bush's defeat of John Kerry in 2004 (286-252). The difference with 2004? Virginia, Colorado, Iowa and New Mexico flipped blue and Obama's massive ground operation in the Mountain West succeeds where John Kerry came up short.

Please comment or email the Potatoe with your predictions. We're getting close!

Oh, picture of Clubber:

If you do not vote, he will "crucify you . . . real bad."

Breaking News: Obama Losing to McCain on the Electoral Map . . . Bill O'Reilly's Electoral Map

Oregon and Michigan now toss-up states! North Carolina strongly leaning towards McCain! Cats and dogs living together! Mass hysteria!

Oh, according to Bill O'Reilly. Hahahahaha. Whew! Got me nervous there. All is well.

And as if this shocking development isn't enough, Nielsen ratings show MSNBC's prime-time lineup beating Fox News' long-running sitcoms (including the O'Reilly Factor) three of the past five days in the all important 25 - 54-years-old advertising demographic.

I'm about to state the obvious, but it makes me feel better. Here's the skinny on Fox News: 90% of its viewers are crusty, old, ultra-conservative mummies, diaper-clad and going the way of the Dodo. The other 10% are seething lefty masochists with a sick need to make their blood boil each evening. Fox News has made a sterling brand out of feigned victimization - a cartoonish "fair and balanced" us versus a "liberal media elite" them pitted in an aggrandized "culture war" interminably waged only by their pundits and a few wingnut followers.

Forever relegated to cable because most of the country is rational and sane, Fox News will continue to fight the fabricated fight against an imaginary liberal beast until it is fake-tamed and pretend-controlled before a limited television audience. It is quite the Muppet Babies adventure: "When your world looks kind of left and you wish that you weren't there . . . just close your eyes and turn on Fox, and the liberals won't be there!"

Don't celebrate, MSNBC. You're quickly becoming Fox News' ultra-liberal reflection in the punditry mirror and the reflection ain't too fair (except for Rachel Maddow, recently promulgated as my new celebrity crush freebie, serving a devastating blow to Audrina from The Hills. This new position on freebies has been well received according to my internal polling of the wife demographic.).

***UPDATE***: Add . . . Shepard Smith of, yes . . . Fox News . . . to my ever-growing list of pundit freebies I would tryst about with. And vote a resounding "NO" on Prop. 8 if you're a Californian resident so I can marry Smith for this one:

Without puffed-up apoplexy or pandering, Smith simply, uniquely, sets the record straight. And could there be a more laughable GOP paragon than Sam Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. Joe the Nitwit Plumber?

5 days to go! Don't just vote like all the unctuous celebs demand. THINK . . . then vote.

Obama Assassination Plot Foiled! UPDATES AND CORRECTIONS

AP wire reports the ATF intervened in a plot by neo-Nazi skinheads to assassinate Barack Obama and murder 102 African-American individuals in Tennessee.

That's building racist energy turned kinetic. You see it on the far fringe of the Republican base - the very far fringe. Same intolerance that justifies bombing an abortion clinic, holding up a placard stating "God hates fags," and decreeing a man's middle name is indicative of a connection to Islamofascism.

The only saving grace?: Almost all of this fringe element are too lazy or disaffected to put crazy into motion. Almost all.

***UPDATE***: Some of my conservative peers are livid, angry at the purported intimation of this post - that I am conflating a despicably racist group of skinheads with a living component of the Republican base.

I will not retract my statements, but bring them into focus.

No. These pitiful nihilists, these sub-citizens who bring our democratic enterprise down and defile it, are not part of any Republican party I know.

Notwithstanding, I will not avert my eyes and disregard the patent correlation between the rancid intolerance bandied about by the outer most edges of the current GOP base (Karl Rove's, Rush Limbaugh's and James Dobson's Frankenstein collective) and the impetus to commit harm held by misanthropic groups like the Neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klan or skinheads. I agree - the dogma birthed by such defective thinking is not exclusive to the Republican party. The Democratic base is no more immune. Its far left extremities also meddle with black principles of radicalism, anarchism and fascism. On the rare instance, these doctrinal underpinnings are seized by beyond-the-pale factions to promote equally aberrant acts (think PETA or the faceless, feral mobs protesting the WTO).

There are domestic terrorists - and many of them have a ideological bent, whether right or left. The Council for Foreign Relations and the FBI classify them accordingly:

The FBI classifies domestic terrorist threats mostly by political motive, dividing them into three main categories: left wing, right wing, and special interest.

And the right-wing extremists share a predictable dynamic:

What is right-wing domestic terrorism?

Attacks committed by people who favor individual freedoms over governmental regulation are classified as right-wing domestic terrorism. Such extremists may be motivated by issues of race, such as the Ku Klux Klan, or other issues, such as opposition to abortion or immigration. According to the FBI, right-wing terrorists often take “racist and racial supremacy and embrace antigovernment, antiregulatory” platforms. Far-right movements often blend political rhetoric with racial undertones, despite recent attempts to reach a broader audience by eliminating racial language. Authorities do not categorize people with extreme right-wing political ideals as threats unless the group they are affiliated with demonstrates a real potential for violence.

Once this threat for violence manifests itself, the bastards have no place in the Republican tent. I concede this. Even the right, militant fringes recoil and reconvene, far away from these pariahs.

No - I do not conflate extremist groups with the Republican base. Even the most abhorrent sub parts of the Republican base. However, if you cannot find at least a tenuous link between the credos or ethos of the farthest right wing of the GOP and the folks that fall off the party's edge into the criminal abyss, then allow me to recommend a 24 hour cable news network you may enjoy.

Are the bovine hoards lumbering through McCain-Palin rallies, documented by video in various states, shouting filth like Obama is a "negra," "Muslim" (as if it's a bad thing), "Arab" (as if it's bad thing), "terrorist" and today, within earshot of Governor Palin, "n*gger," [see UPDATE 3 below] not an ostensible appendage of the Republican base? Are they not an old vestigial tail lingering on the larger Republican organism, doddering into the evening of this election cycle? Even a single drop of water is a constituent part of the greater ocean.

Do you not find an ill-informed, ignorant, intolerant sect infecting the base of the greater GOP at this moment in history? Do you not believe Pat Robertson and James Dobson hate homosexuals when they say they hate homosexuals or blame "abortionists" for the fate of 9-11? Do you not think Phil Berg and Andy Martin, who spout lies that Obama is Muslim and previously schooled at a madrasa, are not sympathetic to some segment of Republicanism in vogue? When Hannity and Limbaugh happily grant them a mainstream audience, amplify their slimy rhetoric and impassively condone their message without factual challenge or providing context?

Yes, the Democrats have their proximal fleas as well. Scroll down to my post about Reverend Wright. I mention him in the same breath as Ward Churchill and Cindy Sheehan, a cabal of far left pernicion. However, the assassination plot hits closer to the Republican home.

If Pat Robertson wants to say abortionists caused 9-11 and Ward Churchill speaks of folks who died in 9-11 are "little Eichmanns," then they can sleep together. I'm not making a distinction. I only note that if hate-mongering devolves into hate-crimes, you can normally locate the perpetrators banging on either the Republicans' or the Democrats' front door as if they belong inside. And you know which door is which.

***UPDATE***: According to David Duke, Obama's candidacy is a "visual aid" for hate groups.

***UPDATE***: I reported erroneously based on other erroneous sources that "n*gger" was shouted at a Palin rally a few days ago. Apparently, the word screamed was "redistributor." Even the pinkos over at Daily Kos make the concession. However, I continue to stand behind every other word of my post and the gravamen of my complaint against the farthest right fringe of the GOP and the farthest left fringe of the Democrats.


I had a friend who was a pathological liar. It boggled my mind, because he would just lie about meaningless, unimportant stuff - and stuff that was easily proven false. He once claimed that his mother was a dentist. I knew his mother, and she wasn't a dentist. It was like he was lying for sport. More troubling, it was almost as if he lost the ability to discern fact from fiction.

Well as I pointed out here, Palin is a liar. But is she pathological? As reported by the always entertaining Anne Marie Cox of the Washington Independent, when talking about Joe the Plumber:

Gov. Sarah Palin apparently got so excited that she momentarily granted him the honored double status of veteran and Frontier State native: “He’s a fellow Alaska[n], and he’s a fellow military man who has served our country proudly. I’d like you to meet him.”

He is neither. But then again, his name isn’t Joe and he isn’t a plumber. So, really, who’s to blame her for getting a little carried away?

Is she pathological? I will let you decide.

No I won't. You might get it wrong.

She is.

Why in the hell else would she lie about this? What could cause the words “He’s a fellow Alaska[n], and he’s a fellow military man who has served our country proudly" to come out of her mouth? It just isn't true. It has to be that she's lost the ability to discern fact from fiction (scary), she is just lying for sport (scary), or she is just flat out batshit crazy (scary). Whichever is the case, she is pathological.

***UPDATE*** Thanks to reader, James, it appears that Ms. Cox was wrong about the veracity (or lack thereof) of Palin's speech. Which shoots my theory to shit. Oh, well. He lived in Alaska for 4 years, and was in the Air Force. And he looks like the dude from The Shield.

Glad to have a more right-leaning reader to keep us in check. But save the "don't care about the truth" stuff. We try to get it right, and we will admit when we get it wrong.

Pay No Attention To That Black Man On Your Televisions

Very dirty pool from The Kansas Citian, always a devious GOP henchman, providing an oblique guide for this evening's television programming.

Forgot one scheduling note though: Barack Obama will appear on CBS, NBC and Fox tonight at 8 pm for a special, half-hour infomercial.

Of course, The Potatoe will DVR Paris Hilton's New BFF.

KC would know about Digital Video Recording technology if he didn't worship a candidate who doesn't understand emails or the Internet. Here's a nice digression with the help of Wired:

There's no telling if he's going to buy a tape from the Video Professor, or just have his son-in-law sit down with him for a few days, but John McCain has decided to learn how to use the internet.

"I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself," McCain told the New York Times in an interview that appeared Sunday. "I don't expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need."

Even so, McCain bluntly admits, "I don't e-mail. I've never felt the particular need to e-mail."

Please John McCain - try my product. You'll be glad that you did. If you're not completely satisfied with my product by November 4, I'll send you a full refund.

By the way, election day is November 4, not November 5, no matter what The Kansas Citian would have you believe.

Anachronistic GOP grifts ain't going to get it done this time. You hucksters should take the time machine back to South Carolina in 2000 where you belong.

From the "Still Missing" Department: Palin's Medical Records

Riddle me this, Batman:

Why is the young rebellious maverick with nothing to hide STILL protecting her medical records like they're nuclear launch codes?

Fill in your own answers and/or conspiracy theories, but ABC News reports that despite their insistence and persistence, Palin's representatives still have not and will not release the information. This makes Palin the only one of the four members of the major tickets that has released not one scintilla of medical information. Warm Apple Pie was all over the story last week here and the only thing that has come out since then is deafening and disquieting silence.

The question one has to ask is: why? There were Internet rumors floating around about cover-ups for a previous Bristol Palin pregnancy along with lots of other fantastic and titillating but completely unsubstantiated stories. But why is Governor Palin hiding her medical records? I don't even have a theory here. What is there within that information that stands to embarrass her or the campaign? And if the answer is nothing, what is the problem?

On Sunday morning, Palin spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt told ABC News that the campaign had planned to release information on her medical history early this week. Today is Wednesday. ABC News has asked every day this week about the status of the release of information and received no updates from the campaign. It is unclear what is holding things up.

ABC News is clearly irked about this, and not trying to hide it:

Aides suggested privately that there was nothing to hide in the records, but that it was simply taking a while to call doctors and round up the appropriate information to release. But an entire week?

However, they're absolutely right to wonder about this. This request was made weeks ago and we're one week and counting from this election. If there is something in those records, the voters have a right to know. Palin was asked about this, and her response gives pause:

"So be it, if that will allow some curiosity seekers, perhaps, to have one more thing that they can either check the box off that they can find something to criticize, perhaps, or find something to rest them assured over. Fine. I'm healthy, I'm happy, had five kids. That is going to be in the medical records. Never been seriously ill or hurt. You will see that in the medical records if they're released," Palin told NBC's Brian Williams.

Whoa there... interesting response, Governor. What are they going to find to criticize in your medical records? And what does it mean if they find "something to rest them assured over" - is that even English? Also, the sinister conclusion - "IF" they are released. Not "WHEN" but "IF" they are released.

Provocative! What could be in these records that would need to be protected and would be of interest to "curiosity seekers"? A history of drug or alcohol abuse? Prescription drugs or anti-depression medication being given to her? An abortion? A sexually transmitted disease? Using birth control pills? (eh, probably not that) Stay tuned for more.