Saturday, October 25, 2008

Closing Arguments

Barack Obama begins his summation with a new ad:

Missing Links For October 25, 2008

A succinct, lucid explanation of competing health care plans.

President Bush votes early for Barack Obama?!?!? Psyche!

Captain Krauthammer and the euphoria before drowning: I will go down with the McCain ship. I'd rather lose an election than lose my bearings.

Obama defends his alleged ties to . . . Adolph Hitler: "Um . . . just so we're clear: I was negative 20 years old when Hitler committed despicable acts."

After conjuring Herbert Hoover, McCain revives Harry S. Truman, reminds the electorate he's stupid-old.

The Manchurian-American Candidate

Because Barack Obama has not released a copy of his birth certificate, we are forced to endure the axe-grinding hysterics of "patriots" like Phil Berg and his "legitimate" claim that Obama is not a natural born citizen and, therefore, cannot be President of the United States (What? He did? He released it? That picture to the left? Oh, it's nothing. Seriously, don't look at it. Pay no attention to the birth certificate behind the curtain).

Here's a copy of Berg's complaint, a paragon of attorney work product likely penned in crayons and lipsticked pig's blood, seeking declaratory and injunctive relief against Barack Obama and his other buddies: "Barry Soetoro," "Barry Obama," "Barack Dunham," and "Barry Dunham." Most compelling is averment 18 where Mr. Berg, a master jurist on equal footing with great legal minds like Cardozo, Darrow and Dershowitz, cites to . . . "Wikipedia English Version" and (not to be outdone) "Wikipedia Italian Version" to support his allegation that Obama's birth is "reported" to have occurred at two different Hawaiian hospitals. Berg further notes that there is a Canadian birth certificate linked to Barack Obama also "posted on the internet." An earlier draft of the complaint cited "two girls, one cup," "star wars kid" and "Will Ferrell's The Landlady," but were strategically dropped in the final version.

And if not a testament to sound jurisprudence and research, Berg's complaint at worse is a celebration of syntactical coherency and stellar grammar: "Obama obviously knows, because his father told the Obama, that he (Obama) also held/holds Kenyan nationality."


For good measure, Berg buttresses his claim with an allegation of Obama"s Kenyan citizenship (Barry is well traveled, apparently a citizen of the world) provided by "Chicago-based Internet Journalist, broadcaster and critic" Andy Martin.

You remember Andy? He's the Internet journalist, broadcaster and critic who once threw his hat in the ring as candidate for Congress on the broad-based "exterminate Jew power" platform. The Potatoe's leave-no-stone-unturned investigative journalism has also yielded the shocking revelation that Mr. Martin did not win that election.*

Enter the rumor mill, fair and balanced - Fox News' local affiliate in the crucial battleground state of Ohio picks up the story on Monday and gives it an audience (conspicuously timed considering Berg filed his ridiculous lawsuit on August 21 in a Federal Court in Pennsylvania).

Only 19 more days of the circus, kids. Hang in there. The audacity of hate must not win.

*Source: Wikipedia (English Version)

***UPDATE***: A Federal Judge throws out the litigious manifestation of an Internet-fueled conspiracy theory that Barack Obama was born outside of the United States. The court dismissed Phil Berg's inarticulate complaint finding private citizens lack standing to sue on eligibility requirements. The Court reasoned the harm alleged by Berg is "too vague and its effects too attenuated to confer standing on any and all voters."

Now, I'm just a simple, 53-year-old strip club disc jockey for the Spearmint Rhino in Las Vegas ("Joe the MC" so to speak), but my dilettante's knowledge of the law (sometimes the strippers get in some hot water) tells me this is a sound ruling by the Court.

The Playing Field

Could John McCain's demise be a fait accompli 10 days before the election? The permutations don't bode well: Give him Ohio (20) and Florida (27). Give him North Carolina (15) and even Virginia (13) now leaning towards Obama. Throw in the traditional Republican strongholds of Indiana (11), Montana (3) and North Dakota (3) surprisingly in play. Toss in hotly-contested Nevada (5) and Missouri (11). You know what - I'm feeling generous: Give him New Hampshire (4) because Palin's a Hockey Mom.

Final score: 269-269. A veritable tsunami of GOP support in the final week still doesn't give McCain the victory math. However, in the case of a tie, the 12th Amendment requires the House of Representatives to determine the President-Elect with each state's newly elected delegation casting only one vote. And that means Joe the Rodeo Clown, Joe the Dairy Queen Manager and Joe the Toothless Old Buzzard Whittling Wood And Spittin' Tobacco Juice On The Porch Of The General Store - you know, the three folks comprising the total population of Wyoming - carry equal weight in this doomsday scenario as the 37,000,000 citizens residing in California.

A disquieting thought until you realize that the Democrats currently control 27 state delegations in the House and are expected to make further gains this election. Still, chilling to let your darkest fears for the country creep in to your consciousness. The House debate dedicated to breaking the tie would make the rancor exchanged during the 2000 election fiasco look like a friendly disagreement among gentlemen.

Is Obama The Batman? Is McCain The Penguin? Tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel

Until I watched this clip, I never, ever, in a million years, would have suspected that the distinguished Senator from the great State of Arizona was an arch-criminal mastermind. Now, I am not so sure. And remember, based on my ability to solve Encyclopedia Brown mysteries with barely any trouble, I am probably the greatest detective since Kojak, but with less hair. In any event, it's now quite clear that McCain's senior campaign advisor is The Riddler.

It's Too Easy

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – Gov. Sarah Palin's signature accomplishment — a contract to build a 1,715-mile pipeline to bring natural gas from Alaska to the Lower 48 — emerged from a flawed bidding process that narrowed the field to a company with ties to her administration, an Associated Press investigation shows.

No comment. It's just not even a challenge anymore. Here are the details. Do me a favor and just insert the jokes yourselves. I can't be bothered.

Despite Palin's boast of a smart and fair bidding process, the AP found that her team crafted terms that favored only a few independent pipeline companies and ultimately benefited the winner, TransCanada Corp.

And contrary to the ballyhoo, there's no guarantee the pipeline will ever be built; at a minimum, any project is years away, as TransCanada must first overcome major financial and regulatory hurdles.

In interviews and a review of records, the AP found:

-Instead of creating a process that would attract many potential builders, Palin slanted the terms away from an important group — the global energy giants that own the rights to the gas.

-Despite promises and legal guidance not to talk directly with potential bidders, Palin had meetings or phone calls with nearly every major candidate, including TransCanada.

-The leader of Palin's pipeline team had been a partner at a lobbying firm where she worked on behalf of a TransCanada subsidiary. Also, that woman's former business partner at the lobbying firm was TransCanada's lead private lobbyist on the pipeline deal, interacting with legislators in the weeks before the vote to grant TransCanada the contract. Plus, a former TransCanada executive served as an outside consultant to Palin's pipeline team.

-Under a different set of rules four years earlier, TransCanada had offered to build the pipeline without a state subsidy; under Palin, the company could receive a maximum $500 million.

You betcha!

Ronald Reagan's Legacy Lives On; Votes Obama

Reported today by ABC News:

Charles Fried, the Solicitor General for President Ronald Reagan, announced today that he has already voted for Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill.

Chief among his reasons: "the choice of Sarah Palin at a time of deep national crisis."

Ouch. Not only an endorsement, but the guy has already cast his vote. Well, okay, I suppose that's not that bad though. He's a vestige of a long-gone administration lionized by Republicans everywhere but really not that relevant anymore, right?

In addition to losing the support of a highly-respected conservative, what must especially smart for Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., is that Fried actually served as an adviser to his campaign.

Okay, ouch. That has to hurt a little. No, but it is even worse than that.

In [a]letter to Trevor Potter, the General Counsel to the McCain-Palin campaign, [Fried] asked that his name be removed from the several campaign-related committees on which he serves.

So let me make sure I have this right:

A former member of the Reagan administration was serving as an advisor to the McCain campaign and also participating in several campaign-related committees. Ostensibly, he might even be in line for an administration position in the unlikely event of a McCain victory. This individual then decided "nope, can't do it" and withdrew from all campaign-related posts and went and cast an early-ballot vote for Obama?

Yup. That's gotta smart.


February 10, 2007: Barack Obama announces his candidacy for President of the United States:

April 25, 2007: John McCain announces his candidacy for President of the United States:

Simpler times. Prominence just a glint in their eyes.

Finish honorably, gentlemen.

GOP Succubus Bachmann Says "I Have Sinnned" (Sort Of)

A penitent Michelle Bachmann releases a new campaign ad, now embroiled in a too-close-to-call Congressional race in Minnesota after asking the press to conduct an investigation into the anti-American views held by certain members of Congress and Barack Obama:

"We can embrace government as the answer for our problems, or we can choose freedom or liberty. I may not always get my words right, but I know that my heart is right. Because my heart is for you, for your children, and for the blessings of liberty to remain for our great country."

Not very contrite, Michelle. And I'd say it's style over substance if it had any style.

During the past eight years, have any words been more lightly tossed around or treated with more contempt and left for dead than "freedom" and "liberty." They've become the calling cards for government's failure.

"A word is elegy to what it signifies" - Robert Hass

I hope these once great words serve not as requiem of that already signified, but as the bright promise of future meaning yet to be denoted.

10 days. Vote.

Libertarian Candidate Bob Barr Predicts Deep South Win For Obama

ATLANTA, GA – "Senator John McCain will not win Georgia," predicts Bob Barr, the Libertarian Party nominee for president. "His shrinking poll numbers are an indication that McCain is losing touch with the American public as we get closer to November 4th."

"Sen. McCain never connected with the fiscal conservatives in Georgia," says Barr. "His lack of a principled stand on issues such as reducing the size of government and cutting spending bothers Georgia voters. Sen. McCain can't say with a straight face he will not raise taxes or increase government spending, given his support for such extremely expensive federal government programs like the recent massive bailouts for Wall Street. Clearly, McCain has failed to attract the hearts and support of Georgia voters."

"Sen. Obama will not so much win Georgia, as Sen. McCain will lose the state," Barr adds.

Right . . . and John McCain will carry California, New York and France.

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Vote for Obama is a Vote Against Webelos

I cannot make this up. I wish I had the creativity to do so, but I was not imbued with it. But someone was. Who says conservatives have no vision of tomorrow....

Terrorist strikes on four American cities. Russia rolling into Eastern Europe. Israel hit by a nuclear bomb. Gay marriage in every state. The end of the Boy Scouts. All are plausible scenarios if Democrat Barack Obama is elected president, according to a new addition to the campaign conversation called "Letter from 2012 in Obama's America," produced by the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family Action.

No, really. This is really the scenario being painted by Colorado based Focus on the Family. Listen, my opposition to FOTF's agenda probably is not that surprising. But this letter does not straddle absurd. It french-kisses it and makes it its bitch. Let's read more, shall we?

... Focus on the Family Action's letter which has been posted on the group's Web site and making the e-mail rounds. Signed by "A Christian from 2012," it claims a series of events could logically happen based on the group's interpretation of Obama's record, Democratic Party positions, recent court rulings and other trends.

Among the claims:

• A 6-3 liberal majority Supreme Court that results in rulings like one making gay marriage the law of the land and another forcing the Boy Scouts to "hire homosexual scoutmasters and allow them to sleep in tents with young boys." (In the imagined scenario, The Boy Scouts choose to disband rather than obey).

• A series of domestic and international disasters based on Obama's "reluctance to send troops overseas." That includes terrorist attacks on U.S. soil that kill hundreds, Russia occupying the Baltic states and Eastern European countries including Poland and the Czech Republic, and al-Qaida overwhelming Iraq.

• Nationalized health care with long lines for surgery and no access to hospitals for people over 80.

The goal was to "articulate the big picture," said Carrie Gordon Earll, senior director of public policy for Focus on the Family Action. "If it is a doomsday picture, then it's a realistic picture," she said.

Hear me, American conservatives! I come to you from a distant future of 2012! The fabric of civilization has completely unraveled... yet we have time travel technology? Apparently things aren't so bad in 2012 - despite the end of civilization, our flux capacitor research has blossomed and we've learned how to send full-retards through time. We probably banished this nitwit and decided the most painful place to send him was now, on the cusp of his control of this country disappearing and the rest of us dancing in the streets.

I don't even want to address all the claims made from what sounds like a pretty eventful 2012 - I just want to address that Focus on the Family thought that, in the midst of predictions of global thermonuclear war and Delphic visions of the apparent rise of fascism to rival 1938, they thought the swing issue would be... the voluntary disbanding of the Boy Scouts of America. Apparently they felt so strongly about it in 2012 that they sent Kyle Reese back through time to warn us of this threat to our national merit badges.

Listen, folks, Pat Bateman was both a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout. He learned to shoot .22's at Boy Scout Camp when he was 12. He promised to be thrifty, brave, clean and reverent like every other scout in Troop 28. (He might have lied. But back then he meant it.) That said, despite my previous participation in this American rite of passage, predicting the fall of the Boy Scouts does not really frighten the hell out of me - although I'm glad they taught me how to make fire, because soon I am not going to be able to afford the Con Edison bill, and I'll need to revisit that skill using my old Con Law books for kindling. (Hell, we've thrown all those laws out in the last eight years anyhow. )

But apparently FOTF thought that if the scourge of nuclear war and conflict with terrorists, extremists and, apparently, Russia didn't get the voters out, perhaps the possibility that their sons would not be able to earn that all-important Pinewood Derby participation badge would. (note: Pinewood Derby rules. I am NOT disparaging the Pinewood Derby)

Seriously, we've turned the Boy Scouts of America into a wedge election issue? I think we need a new barrel. This one is completely tapped out.

****UPDATE: I was trying to think of what this letter from FOTC reminded me of, but I just could not put my elitist, tree-hugging, sodomite, Norman Rockwell-hating finger on it. Mostly because that finger was busy sparking the lighter I was using to burn another American flag. But it finally came to me. I stood up from my arugula salad and ran to the computer to post it...

Joe The Plumber And Cockroaches Survive Nuclear And Political Holocausts

Joe the Plumber gearing up for a 2010 Congressional run . . . as of this morning . . . when the idea first struck him . . . well, actually, Laura Ingraham raised the concept and Joe didn't dismiss it out-of-hand.

Say it ain't so . . . AH, SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP, PALIN!!!!! PLEASE SHUT UP!!!!!! 10 more days!!!!! 10 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem . . . Joe, you'd be better suited for an entertainment vehicle like The Surreal Life or Deal Or No Deal. No one is questioning your mental dexterity when it comes to picking numbered suitcases.

Think about your $250,000 business you don't really own. Who's going to fake-watch that while you're in D.C. snaking the clogged drain of bureaucratic gridlock? What about the plumbing license you never had? Or those back taxes you owe? Or that first name you don't really have? Gosh, it's tough enough being a pretend small-business owner without the burden of real Congressional work. Plus, I hear "Trolley" will challenge you for the 5th District of the "Neighborhood of Make Believe" as Democratic incumbent King Friday VIII is retiring.

Why not run for President? Ashley Todd could be your running mate. I've already crafted your campaign slogan: "Wurzelbacher-Todd - Change You Can Believe In For Fifteen Minutes."

***UPDATE***: During a live online chat today on the Washington Times website, Sam-Joe the Sort-Of-Plumber expressed trepidation at the prospect of an Obama presidency: "When I was face to face with him, my honest first impression was that I expected something more. I had heard so much about 'his presence' in the media that I was surprised to find that he seemed very average . . . My gut feeling as he answered my questions? I was scared for America."

In a related story, Senior VP of Fox News John Moody released another blog post on the Fox Forum entitled "Moment of Truth II" stating, "Joe's fear of Barack Obama is a watershed moment for this election year. If it turns out Joe's fear is genuine, the entire electorate will revisit their support of Barack Obama because they don't know him. If Joe's fear is a hoax, then John McCain's campaign is effectively over for plumber-baiting."

He seemed "very average," huh? Once again I'll let the video of your encounter with Obama speak for itself:


Basking in the glow of her advanced call-out of mendacious self-mutilator, Ashley Todd, Michelle Malkin gives her parting thought on the 24 hour saga:

Final lesson: Trust your instincts. Use your brains. Stop jumping every time Drudge hypes something in Armageddon-sized font.

The GOP severs. The thinking class and the pundit class going their separate ways. Not sure in which class to lump Matt Drudge or Michelle Malkin, but either way folks are just not getting along these days.

Michelle, you ol' lefty! Don't make me intern you!


Everyone remember those Budweiser "wazzzzup" ads that were pretty hilarious at first, then you and your friends said "wazzzzzzup" like 62,000 times, then you said "wasssssssabi" maybe 26,000 times, then everyone you knew, including that toolbag down the hall who you absolutely could not effing stand said "wasssssssup" eleventy skabillion times, but that prick couldn't even do the voice right? Then anytime anyone even hinted that they might lay down a "wazzzzup" you shot them a look that said "IF you say that stupid word, I WILL punch you in the throat?" Yeah, you remember.

Anyhoo, those guys put together a new ad, and it is nothing short of genius.

Does Obama Even Have a Grandmother?

Rush must have upped his dosage.

Hoo boy. Strait out of crazytown, USA, Rush Limbaugh calls Obama's trip to visit his ailing grandmother a hoax. You idiot voters have been bamboozled! In Rush's own words, here is the real reason for Obama's recent trip to Hawaii:

Who announces days in advance they're rushing to the side of a loved one who is deathly ill but keeps campaigning in a race that's said to be over, only to go to the loved one's side days later? See, I think this is about something else. You know what's really percolating out there? I've been laying low on this because it hasn't met the threshold to pass the smell test on this program.

This birth certificate business, this lawsuit that a guy named Philip Berg filed in Philadelphia in August for Obama to produce his genuine birth certificate and he still hasn't replied. You've got a deathly ill grandmother, you are going to rush to her side a few days from now, when you first announced this, you're going to rush, you're going to hurry, you're going to make tracks, you're going to get over there because you don't want your grandmother to die before you got there like your mother did, but somehow you keep campaigning, you take three days to get over there, if he's left yet, and this birth certificate business, I'm just wondering if something's up.

I have no clue, and folks, I'm telling you, this has not reached the threshold until now, and it's popping up all over the place. There are a lot of people now that are starting to speculate and be curious about this.

I don't know, let's say for example that somebody does come up with proof that something's screwy with his birth certificate and something's screwy about the fact that he's allegedly a natural citizen, American citizen, but may not be, dual citizenship, born in Kenya, who knows, there's all kinds of stuff out -- so what? What's going to happen this late in the campaign? Do you think if it's proven that they're going to dump him? That's not going to happen. But still, these are just questions that I have.

Sorry about the bold. Maybe I put the emPHAsis on the wrong syLAble.

But he is right. It is pure speculation and he has no clue. Kudos, Rush, you miserable low-life. It didn't meet the threshold (what could that threshold possibly be? I love these slime-merchants who state that they have these undeclared standards to bolster the credibility of their nonsense), but now it does. What changed, other than McCain's sinking poll numbers?

McCain Volunteer Mugged And Disfigured, Claims Attack Was Politically Motivated

A 20-year-old woman and McCain-Palin volunteer worker told police that she was mugged at an ATM in Pittsburgh last evening around 9 p.m. by an African-American assailant who proceeded to carve the letter "B" into her right cheek. The woman claims that after the mugging, the suspect became enraged by the sight of a John McCain bumper sticker on her car, prompting a savage barrage of punches and kicks which culminated in the disfiguring mark.

Both campaign released statements denouncing the act. Sarah Palin called the victim personally.

***UPDATE***: I didn't want to be the first to suggest this, but if Michelle Malkin is suprisingly willing to walk out on this ledge, perhaps I'll follow her from a distance, of course wearing the safety-line of "I'm probably off my rocker."

Malkin doubts the authenticity of this story and the victim's rendition of the circumstances surrouding the assault as she is already being fitted for stardom by the Drudge Report (thanks for playing, Joe the Plumber. Here is the McCain-Palin campaign game, home version, as a parting gift.).

Specifically (and this detail rubbed me the wrong way too), Malkin struggles with the fact that she refused medical treatment after reporting the incident to police.

One of Malkin's readers is most incredulous about the "B" being backwards on the victim's face, noting that if she applied the wound to herself in the mirror, it would appear correct in the reflection, but reversed on her cheek.

Then again, have we become too cynical? It's hard to strain out the genuine articles from the grifters in this polarized climate.

***UPDATE***: The Smoking Gun posts the Twitter page of alleged victim, Ashley Todd, before it went private two hours ago. Driving aimlessly through the wild streets of Pittsburgh at night in hopes of finding a Bank of America ATM to avoid a service fee? Hmmmmm. Foolish parsimony I guess. Almost unbelievable in my estimation.

***UPDATE****: More revelations about Ashley Todd, quickly becoming our generation's Hester Pyrnne. Some things don't add up and the police want to administer a polygraph. I'm still buying shares in the story's legitimacy at this point, but only to decrease my loss ratio if her dubious tale is vindicated. Hedging my bets here.

***UPDATE***: The scoffers gather kindling and rope to build the stake. Salient point: that's quite some penmanship you've got there, presumptively would-be attacker, for such a violent encounter. That's the neatest, um, backwards "B" I've ever seen chiseled on a face.


Criminal assault by skin-embossing now becoming endemic to this long-in-the-tooth election cycle and the modus operandi of political thugs with scores to settle?

Perhaps in retaliation for Ashley Todd's harrowing (tall) tale of victimization at the hands of a pro-Obama (imaginary) attacker, this morning in Miami Beach, Florida, another reported incident of epidermal sloganizing: Captain Thaddeus Harris filed a complaint with local police after rising from an afternoon slumber on the beach to find the word "DORK" branded into his chest.

The events surrounding the incident remain fuzzy. At 2 pm, Harris applied two forms of sun-tanning products - a sunblock with a high UPF to keep out those "nasty ultra-violet rays" coupled with a dark tanning oil to "give him that deep, golden brown." After reprimanding his assistant, one Lieutenant Proctor, for standing "in his sun," Mr. Harris drifted into a peaceful sleep lying on his back in the sizzling heat of South Beach. He awoke to find the disgusting word imprinted between his nipples.

Police believe the perpetrator applied a substantial amount of sunscreen in shape of letters to exact the disparaging sentiment on Mr. Harris's body. Police also believe the attack was politically motivated as Harris's close friend, a musical, 6'4" African-American, Sergeant Larvelle Jones, is a public supporter of Senator Barack Obama.

When pressed for further comment, Captain Harris responded, "PROCTOR!!!!! WHERE . . . IS . . . PROCTOR!!!!!"

***UPDATE***: Oh this is rich - Ashley Todd's story is "changing" ("becoming more craptastic" if you're on the left, "evolving" or "being clarified" if you're on the right). Her new take? She was unconscious during the attack and discovered her scarlet "B" only after she roused. Just a side note, no biggie, probably not worth mentioning, but allegedly the surveillance camera filming the ATM where the purported attack took place has no visual record of Ashley Todd making a withdrawal. Strangely, I'm sort of rooting for her now because theatrics like this can stick with you (Tawana Brawley called - she wants her melodrama back). Another tidbit - police administered a polygraph and are following up on a "number of inconsistencies."

***UPDATE***: This story is blogging-pirate's booty. Okay, how to paraphrase the statements of John Moody, executive vice president of Fox News, with respect to the developing Ashley Todd . . . um . . . "watershed event 11 days before the election." You know what - take it away, Mr. Moody. I cannot do justice to your hyperbole:


It had to happen.

Less than two weeks before we vote for a new president, a white woman says a black man attacked her, then scarred her face, and says there was a political motive for it.

Ashley Todd, a 20-year-old white volunteer for John McCain’s presidential campaign, says she was mugged at an ATM machine in Pittsburgh (my hometown) by a big black man. She further says he threw her down, then disfigured her by carving the letter “B” into her face with a sharp implement when he saw that she supported McCain, not Barack Obama.

Part of the appeal of, and the unspoken tension behind, Senator Obama’s campaign is his transformational status as the first African-American to win a major party’s presidential nomination.

That does not mean that he has erased the mutual distrust between black and white Americans, and this incident could become a watershed event in the 11 days before the election.

If Ms. Todd’s allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists (with due respect to Rep. John Murtha), but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee.

If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.

For Pittsburgh, a city that has done so much to shape American history over the centuries, another moment of truth is at hand.

I just hope the police get to the bottom of this heinous crime before November 4 so I know how to vote. First, Joe the Plumber, now Ashley Todd. God forbid they find Caylee - a death knell for Obama in Florida. How many times can I revisit my support of Barack Obama and keep deciding to vote for him. Pittsburgh!!!!! The eyes of the world are watching you!

Has Fox News just thrown in the towel on any semblance of professionalism? I mean I trust Lee Webb, evening anchor for the Christian Broadcasting Network's 700 Club, to provide better news than Fox. How far away are we from camera cuts to Roger Ailes translating what Greta Van Susteren just said for the faithful viewers?

***UPDATE***: CASE CLOSED!!!!! Ashley Todd retracts every inch of her bullsh*t story, admitting to police that the attack didn't occur. She will now face charges for lying to police, filing a false report and not knowing the science of reflections in a mirror.

Epilogue? I wonder where Drudge will bury this turn of events? And congratulations Obama supporters - according to Mr. Moody of Fox News, "Senator McCain's quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting."

Well that settles it. Now let's just see who you really are, Ms. Todd (masked pulled off). Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, John McCain!!!!! "My friends, I would have got away with it if it wasn't for you meddling bloggers."

Actually, one more thing. Mr. Moody's comments above truly merit some revisiting: "If Ms. Todd’s allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists (with due respect to Rep. John Murtha), but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee."

This could be the most absurd statement made by any commentator during this zany election. Let me play out the logic: I'm supporting Obama. A black guy mugs a white girl in Pittsburgh. As a result, I may reassess my support of Obama. Why do I do this? Is it a metaphor? Barack Obama is going to politically mug white America? That's quite a ripple effect for a single mugging. Ever notice that when someone says "not because I'm or they're racists," it's usually followed by a galactically racist statement? Like saying "no offense . . . but you're anti-American."

No more of this nonsense. 11 days to go!

***UPDATE***: WHAT? UPDATE? YOU SAID CASE CLOSED????? Talking Points Memo reports that McCain's Pennsylvania communications director, Peter Feldman, offered up facts and particulars about the debunked Ashley Todd attack to reporters before anything was known about her report - including the allegation that Todd's assailant stated "you're with the McCain campaign? I'm going to teach you a lesson" prior to assaulting her.

I'm beating Malkin to the punch. I'm giving this a "-gate" name. Working title: Mirror-Mirror-gate.

What Are You Going To Be For Halloween? Vice President.

Can there be any remaining doubt that Governor Palin is playing "dress up." More distressing is how much money makeup artists make - why did I go to law school again?

***UPDATE***: Some perspective. Palin's makeup artist earned approximately 22,000 dollars for a two week period. In contrast, during this same period, McCain's foreign policy advisor earned only $12,000. At least the GOP ticket has its priorities straight.

When you think about John McCain, think about George Bush

Last night, one of the most important, influential voices in American politics finally released an endorsement for president. No, I'm not talking about the New York Times' endorsement of Sen. Obama released late last night. Nor am I talking about Pres. Bush's former Press Secretary Scott McClellan endorsing Obama on D.L. Hughley's show on CNN. But that does raise an interesting question: D.L. HUGHLEY HAS A SHOW ON CNN??? How does that sentence not end with "on the WB?" But no, I'm talking about President George Walker Bush, who finally came out to fully embrace the candidacy of Sen. John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin.

In complimenting Gov. Palin's amazing folksy appeal, Pres. Bush explained that "for a while I tried to be folksy, but after a bit it just came off douchey."

Who's El Tinklenberg?

Who cares? He's trying to supplant GOP moll Michelle Bachmann, incumbent Congresswoman for the 6th District of Minnesota, arbiter of anti-Americanism, rumored to hate puppies and rainbows. That's all I need to know.

Here's Mr. Tinklenberg's new campaign ad using footage from Bachmann's calamitous performance on Hardball:

And here's where you can donate to El Tinklenberg's revived campaign (now polling 47% to Bachmann's 44%):

El Tinklenberg is "rebuilding optimism in America." But mostly he's asking Minnesotans to let the door hit Bachmann on her way out!

Michelle Bachmann. Hates puppies. Hates rainbows. Not ready to lead. My name is Warm Apple Pie and I approve this message on behalf of El Tinklenberg.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

More Elitist Emotion

I just got back from a dinner for the Human Rights First organization. Human Rights First (formerly the Lawyers' Committee on Human Rights) was founded by a group of lawyers 30 years ago, and since its inception has fought against genocide, torture, intimidation, suppression of speech, fascism and other threats to democracy and human rights throughout the word. It is truly a worthy organization, and one that gets results. As I looked through the event program, I came across the list of past honorees, and was struck by something for which I had no explanation until logging on to the Potatoe tonight. This is an American organization, yet most of the honorees (including both honorees tonight) were not Americans. Why? I did not know.

And then I read John McCain's comments and got my answer - Americans no longer celebrate criticism of our own government. Americans who criticize America are now traitors. They are anti-American. They are "elitists" seeking unneccessary change.

I'm fed up. People who speak out against torture, who criticize the war in Iraq, and who propose shifting the tax burden away from the middle class are not what's wrong with America. We are not traitors because we want restrained use of the military. We are not anti-American because we seek immigration reform. We are not elitists because we want every American to have healthcare. People who see a great but flawed country that has been led astray by fundamentalists fighting the culture wars of the '60s and military wars of the '80s are not the problem.

John McCain is the problem. John McCain is the traitor. John McCain is anti-American. John McCain is an elitist.

John McCain, who speaks out against torture with one hand, and signs it into law with the other - putting American soldiers in danger - is the traitor. John McCain, who celebrates ignorance and demonizes education - turning on members of his own party who dare to criticize his campaign, is anti-American. John McCain and every right-wing ideologue that seeks to define and limit what constitutes "real" America and "real" Americans are the elitists.

The thousands of New Yorkers with whom I walked across the Manhattan Bridge, our shoes covered with the dust of the twin towers, are not traitors. The New Yorkers that shed tears after finding an American flag amongst the rubble at Ground Zero are not anti-American. The thousands of New Yorkers that stood in lines to give blood that was never needed, are not elitist. The New Yorkers that risk their lives every day in Iraq and Afghanistan are not the problem.

John McCain is the problem. John McCain is the traitor. John McCain is anti-American. John McCain is an elitist.

Follow-up to Bateman's "elitist" posting

I couldn't have said everything you just said any better. But NPR's Sarah Vowell actually managed to make your excellent point more quickly than I could have. In discussing the Republicans' elitism tactic, Sarah told The Daily Show's Jon Stewart, "[t]hey wrap themselves in our attack and then they leave and talk about what snobs we are."

She followed it up with this amazing gem:
"If the East Coast Is American enough For Al-Qaeda, It should be American enough for them."

Followup to WAP's "McCain/elitist" post

(Pat Bateman pre-article warning - it's long. Don't complain. If you have a short attention span, skip it.)

I was going to simply leave a comment on WAP's post about John McCain calling New Yorkers "elitists" but I'm so angry at these statements by McCain that I think it deserves its own post (okay, rant...and a long one at that, I'm sorry WAP). This is something that has always irked me and will continue to always get my dander up, but usually politicians are cagey in their short-shrift to educated, liberal city-folk. But John McCain at least had the gumption to admit it directly, and so let me respond directly.

I don't care, like WAP points out, if this is provincial pandering. Probably is - chances are John McCain does not think everyone he's served with in Washington for two decades is an un-American elitist. But to say it, no matter for what possible political benefit, makes me want to waterboard him.

Ah, John, you don't like those unpatriotic American elitists in New York in their Ivory Towers much, huh? Those un-American citizens from those elitist cities, who burn the flag every day upon rising and lay down to sleep on Socialist sheets... they aren't what America is all about, right John? Guess what John... on behalf of New York, you are hereby restricted from ever discussing September 11th, 2001 again. Ever.

On that day, John, this elitist watched in horror as his hometown burned, and wondered if there were more attacks on the way. This elitist had his office building evacuated when they found anthrax across the street and wondered if he was going to be killed in a biological attack. This elitist knows the names of men - nay, truly they were still boys who never had the chance to fully become men - with whom he shared beer (domestic beer, John, don't worry - no elitist imports) and baseball who lost their lives that day. You, John, are never - ever - allowed to invoke that day for your political benefit again. No, more than that - your entire party is hereby banned. Collective punishment. I'm tired of it, and I think I speak for most of my fellow elitists when I say "this far, no further, John. You have now crossed the rubicon. You have gone too far, sir."

Perhaps this is simply my snooty elitism shining through in rational thought, but I just continue to find it so interesting that those Socialists who worked in the World Trade Center (I can only imagine from your description of New Yorkers that the real business of most who worked there was the overthrow of Capitalism itself) were the ones who died when America was attacked by terrorists and us elitist New Yorkers continue to be the Americans on US soil under constant threat of attack. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I haven't seen any security alerts or evacuations in Wasilla since... wait, ever. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Were the terrorists just stupid, John? Did they intend to attack Peoria and just say "screw it - that's too far. You have to connect, like, six times to get there from Saudi Arabia. What US city has a lot of connecting flights from abroad? New York? Uch, I mean, can't we do better than that? America doesn't care about New York. Uch, and Washington DC? Praised be Allah, even worse! But for convenience sake, let's just stick with those and see how it plays out."

Silly terrorists - all they did was kill a bunch of elitists. Perhaps if they'd gone to school more, they'd have understood the difference between "real" America and those unpatriotic elitists in New York and DC that the rest of the country despises. But, of course, the paradox arises that if they'd gone to school more, they'd probably have been elitists too (it's spread, like mono, mostly during freshman year of college through close contact. Mostly through germs on well-used copies of The Communist Manifesto), and thus too busy sodomizing each other ironically with baseballs and Mom's apple pie to martyr themselves.

It's one of those things that is so laughable that if you discussed it in the context of another country, it would be so nonsensical that you would not believe it. Imagine if the residents of some tiny, provincial outlying desert town in Israel claimed that residents of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem were elitist and "anti-Israel" and unpatriotic, despite their choice to live somewhere under constant threat of attack from enemies. You would wonder what had gotten into their hummus. "What could be MORE patriotic than refusing to leave your home town, city or country despite the threat to your family or your very life? Refusing to submit or change in the face of danger - those are the true patriots," you would think to yourself. Reminds you of that ragtag but spirited band that drove the Brits out of Dodge, right? (Just not the Founding Fathers though - those guys were totally elitist douchebags. All doctors and lawyers and scientists and writers. I'm surprised the non-elitist "Joe homegrown rye whiskey" Colonists didn't burn them at the stake, frankly. I mean, John Adams went to Harvard. He's was practically Muhammad Atta.)

"How's the view from the cheap seats?" you'd think to yourself. "Must be really easy to criticize those who have to wonder if their bus is going to explode from hundreds of miles away from the bombs and blood." You would call these people cowards, lobbing explosive words from their position safely behind the front lines - their own front lines at whom they toss their poisonous verbal missiles.

Refusing to change your way of life under threat of bodily harm - these are the true patriots of any country. They love their country so much that they will not be cowed. They will not move their homes, their families or themselves. They will not submit to violence and terror. They will resist by continuing to live in the face of aggression, perhaps afraid but ultimately unmoved in spirit and courage. They will risk their lives every day by the simple act of living somewhere under fire. But their way of life is too important to be compromised. Their daily lives are a testament to the definition of patriotism. If that is elitist, I am guilty as charged - and would never want to be anything but.

Yet when we face that same situation here in America, it is somehow acceptable to paint the only American citizens who have ever been in real, actual danger as un-patriotic, un-American elitist snobs who thumb their noses at this country and then wipe it with the Stars and Stripes. I was never mad at you, John. Disappointed? Sure. Saddened? Yup. Never mad though.

But not now.

Now I'm angry, John. Not to put too fine a point on it, without using those snobby elitist SAT words that us city folks throw around, let me be plain: go fuck yourself.

Opie, Andy, Richie and the Fonz

What do Opie Taylor, Sheriff Andy Taylor, Richie Cunningham and Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli have in common? No one under 35 has any idea who any of them are! Zing!!!No, I kid. Actually, no one under 35 does know who they are, but that isn't the right answer. You can stop guessing now, because I'm going to tell you: they are all voting for Barack Obama because they love America.

Director of totally awesome movies like Backdraft and Apollo 13, and former child star of The Andy Griffith Show and Happy Days, Ron Howard, has teamed up with his former co-stars, Andy "Matlock" Griffith and Henry "The Fonz" Winkler to bring you this PSA.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Washington D.C. And New York City: Last Bastions Of Elitism

I'd rather vote George W. Bush for a third term than John McCain.

An excerpt from another segment of Brian Williams's conversation with the GOP ticket - you know, John McCain aned Sarah Palin: the 8-house-owning, 150k-on-clothes-spending, just like you and me, couple of mavericks, couple of average Joes, really feeling the economic crisis, hankered down and suffering, real Americans from real American states and electoral districts - broadcast tonight on NBC:

WILLIAMS: Who is a member of the elite?

PALIN: Oh, I guess just people who think that they're better than anyone else. And-- John McCain and I are so committed to serving every American. Hard-working, middle-class Americans who are so desiring of this economy getting put back on the right track. And winning these wars. And America's starting to reach her potential. And that is opportunity and hope provided everyone equally. So anyone who thinks that they are-- I guess-- better than anyone else, that's-- that's my definition of elitism. WILLIAMS: So it's not education? It's not income-based? It's--

PALIN: Anyone who thinks that they're better than someone else.

WILLIAMS: --a state of mind? It's not geography?

PALIN: 'Course not.

WILLIAMS: Senator?

MCCAIN: I-- I know where a lot of 'em live. (LAUGH)

WILLIAMS: Where's that?

MCCAIN: Well, in our nation's capital and New York City. I've seen it. I've lived there. I know the town. I know-- I know what a lot of these elitists are. The ones that she never went to a cocktail party with in Georgetown. I'll be very frank with you. Who think that they can dictate what they believe to America rather than let Americans decide for themselves.

Over 3000 of these "elites" died in New York City and Washington D.C. on 9-11, you crusty curmudgeon. And how many cocktail parties and snooty soirees have you attended in your 26 years as a senator?

I cannot believe how much pandering provincialism spews out of this ticket on a daily basis.

Doctor. Doctor. Glad I'm Not Palin.

In her one-on-one interview segment with Brian Williams last evening, Governor Palin responded to the growing chorus of calls seeking release of her medical records:

"The medical records, so be it. If that will allow some curiosity seekers perhaps to have one more thing that they either check the box off that they can find something to criticize or to rest them assured over. I'm healthy, happy, I've had five kids, that's going to be in the medical records. Never seriously ill or hurt, you'll see that in the medical records if they're released."

So that settles it . . . or does it. Not so fast says the McCain campaign. As reported by an up-in-arms Andrew Sullivan, a parsing bit of wordsmithery comes from the GOP ticket sans medical documentation:

“When medical information related to Governor Palin’s health is ready to be released we will make that information available.”

Hmmm. Medical "information," not necessarily medical records. "Related to" the good Governor's health? I may or may not be a lawyer as far as you know, but Warm Apple Pie, Esq. asserts you can drive a forty-foot rig through the cavernous hole cleared out by "related to." And only when the information is "ready to be released?" By definition, doesn't the word "records" encompass accounts and diagnoses previously prepared by doctors? I don't think we're asking Governor Palin to submit to a physical before the election. The personal annals of her medical history will more than suffice.

I reject almost all conspiracy theories out-of-hand - including the sinfully delicious yarn about Sarah Palin concocting her purported pregnancy and birth of Trig to protect his true biological mother, Bristol Palin.

Notwithstanding, I do squint a bit at the hesitancy to provide full, unredacted medical records. She's the youngest of the four candidates. You would think the papers attest simply that she's the most vigorous as well.

Still, I submit this is garden-variety, election year dookie thrown around by fringe jesters seeking to defame and imbrue the opposition's candidate. However, Obama did supply his birth certificate to combat outrageous claims that he was born outside of the United States. It would seem Palin could immediately delouse herself of these sub-media lice by a timely release of her medical records. How about some of that government transparency you extol?

"Vote McCain, Not Barack Hussein"

Conservative radio's new group-think perceives the feral left as much more virulent and hateful than the right despite the media elite's skewed vision of the campaign trail. The coterie of GOP pundits warns of a powder keg situation created by the left's never-ending quest to squash dissent and install their world view on the American people. They warn of violence in the wake of a McCain-Palin victory.


How many video clips can I post:

Yeah, you guys are the victims here. Cry me a river.

I Learned A New Word Today: "Outlier"

An "outlier" denotes an empirical result on the margins that most statisticians discard as unreliable or anomalous.

With a cascade of polls showing Barack Obama separating from John McCain, scratching if not realizing a double-digit lead, I was intrigued by the AP-GFK poll released this week showing a virtual dead heat: Obama - 44%, McCain - 43%.

Pollster John Zogby (fingering Obama's lead at 10 points) decries the new poll as a sloppy "outlier," deficient in accounting for a massive surge in college-age voters flocking to the polls this election season.

But for you cocksure Democrats out there, already putting the champagne on ice for your Obama victory celebration, Zogby concedes things remain fluid and forewarns: "anything can happen."

Campbell Brown attempts to set women in politics back to Stone Age

In case you do not know who she is, Campbell Brown is a commentator on CNN and Today, she published an opinion piece, which can be found here in which she defends the expenditure of 150k in the last two months on Sarah Palin's wardrobe, by dropping this nugget of wisdom on us:

Women get scrutinized based on appearance far more than men. And look, I speak from experience here. When I wear a bad outfit on the air, I get viewer e-mail complaining about it. A lot of e-mail. Seriously.

When Wolf Blitzer wears a not-so-great tie, how much e-mail do you think he gets? My point is for women, unfortunately, appearance is part of the job.

If Wolf or Anderson Cooper shows up on the air without makeup, you think you would even notice? I show up without makeup? Trust me, you'll notice.

This doesn't just apply to TV. All women in the public eye deal with this issue. And it is for this reason that I think the RNC should help Palin pay for clothes, hair and makeup. It is part of the job.

Now, Campbell tries to blunt this stupidity at the very end by saying that she has raised many questions about Sarah Palin, but that the questions were of the "right" kind:

I, myself, have raised plenty of questions about Sarah Palin, much to the annoyance of the McCain campaign. But those questions have been about her qualifications and experience, never her appearance. Let's keep the focus on what really matters here.

Ah, Campbell. So stupid. You simply don't understand, do you? You cannot have it both ways and every which way. I'm not just talking to you, Campbell. I'm talking to you, women of America. You see, you cannot enforce a double standard and fight it at the same time. Either women should be treated differently or they should not be treated differently. End of discussion. Frankly, we men don't care. Just let us know which way you'd like it - but the trick is you've got to be consistent. Either women are different creatures and should be looked at, evaluated and judged differently than men, or they should not. At home, at work and in politics.

However, don't get into a twist Campbell. You see, Campbell, the funny thing is that you're wrong EITHER way on this one. So rest easy. Your decision is irrelevant - you're still incorrect.

If women should be treated equally to men, an expenditure of $150,000 on clothes in times of economic crisis by a candidate of either sex should be seen as pure madness. It's excess to a degree that is almost unfathomable. And from a candidate running on the GOP ticket of reduced spending and financial conservatism, it's laughable.

But the funny thing is that if women should be treated differently than men, she's still wrong - and so are you, Campbell. If being attractive is part of Sarah Palin's "job" description, she and the GOP are still in lunatic territory with spending 150 large on clothes for her. She's running on a campaign of reform, reigning in spending and small town values. Looking good does not mean lavish spending. Lots of women have to look pretty on a shoestring budget. They're called "the rest of America." They succeed in varying degree, but I assure you that many do look fabulous on less than $150k per eight weeks. Thus even if you judge her differently than a man, she and the GOP are still wrong and out of touch in having spent so lavishly on her. Even if her looks matter, they don't matter THAT much. Or do they...


Unless it is acknowledged, brazenly and openly, that her only job responsibility is looking good, and thus no expense should be spared because she brings nothing else to the table. As Lieutenant Weinberg aptly states, he has no responsibilities here whatsoever. Perhaps Palin has none with the exception of being hot.

At this fringe position, any expenditure is justified because all she brings to the table is her looks, and, as such, lavish spending is not only justified but necessary. However, at this fringe point, shouldn't McCain just choose Halle Berry and dispense with the pretense that his running mate is anything other than attractive? (come to think of it - Halle Berry might actually be a better choice for McCain at this point than Palin) And when we've reached that station, where Palin's looks aren't just part of the package but, in fact, the whole enchilada, shouldn't we just acknowledge that women are to be seen and not heard and banish them from politics altogether? I mean, what are they bringing to the table? Hey sweetheart, be a doll and fix me a martini while the big boys talk.

Thus, to bring it full circle, Campbell, you're an idiot. Your looks matter because you bring nothing else to the table (as we clearly see). You read off a teleprompter. The fate of the free world will never, ever be in your hands. You, Campbell, need your looks (and yeah, you're attractive) because that is where your bread is buttered. Your looks are the skillz that pays the billz.

Sarah Palin's looks, whether they matter or not, are not supposed to matter. Her savvy, smarts and experience are what is supposed to matter. That's what mattered with Geraldine Ferraro. With Golda Meier. With Margaret Thatcher. That's what mattered with dozens of other women in government over history, both in this country and around the world. To suggest otherwise as you do, Campbell, is to suggest that looks somehow played a part in the ascension of these remarkable women. And, as a man, let me tell you: they didn't.

But now apparently these things called "qualifications" that used to be important aren't anymore. Now we've regressed so far, thanks to you and others like you, Campbell, that Sarah Palin's looks are crucial. So crucial, in fact, that we should ignore her and/or her party's lavish spending on her looks and what that says about her and/or her party's position on useless and extravagant spending while they contract themselves by talking out of the other side of their mouths about reduced spending and small government. We should ignore any of these implications, Campbell, because looks are just more important for women, and thus no expense should be spared nor contradiction discussed.

Shame on you Campbell. You just set your gender back fifty years.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Potatoe's Missing Links For October 22, 2008

Rick Reilly and Barack Obama pick a NFL fantasy for week six games.

Barack Obama now boasts a 93.5% chance of victory.

John McCain left on the Straight Talk Express, overnight, alone, scared (hehehehe).

Kathryn Jean Lopez of National Review shocked that blacks are voting for Barack Obama.

Drudge, almost out of spin, tries reverse psychology: it's such a done deal, why vote?

The only poll that matters comes out on November 5.

Jack Of All Trades: Jeff Larson

Not only is he Sarah Palin's personal shopper, but Jeff Larson finds time in his busy schedule for long walks on the beach, knitting and recording robocalls attacking Barack Obama.

Jeff Larson is fab! Tim Gunn says "make it work," Jeff. My name is John McCain and I approve this fierceness!!!!!!! These robocalls are hot messes!!!!

I hope you're right, Sarah...

Sarah, I truly believe you're right on target here. I just think you might be mistaken about which side God votes this year...

In an interview posted online Wednesday, Sarah Palin told Dr. James Dobson of “Focus on the Family” that she is confident God will do “the right thing for America” on Nov. 4. Dobson asked the vice presidential hopeful if she is concerned about John McCain’s sagging poll numbers, but Palin stressed that she was “not discouraged at all.”

“To me, it motivates us, makes us work that much harder,” she told the influential Christian leader, whose radio show reaches tens of millions of listeners daily. “And it also strengthens my faith because I know at the end of the day putting this in God’s hands, the right thing for America will be done, at the end of the day on Nov. 4.”

Ah, Sarah - still with the GOP "Divine Mandate" theory. Because I have to imagine you don't mean that the Dems are going to win and THAT is God's Word. You're governor of Alaska, but you're still mayor of Crazytown. You betcha.

She also thanked her supporters — including Dobson, who said he and his wife were asking “for God’s intervention” on election day — for their prayers of support. “It is that intercession that is so needed,” she said. “And so greatly appreciated. And I can feel it too, Dr. Dobson. I can feel the power of prayer, and that strength that is provided through our prayer warriors across this nation. And I so appreciate it.”

Our prayer warriors. Who are these soldiers you speak of? Are those our service men and women overseas, praying someone will give them body armor before IED shrapnel blows them to pieces? Or do you speak of Henry Paulson, he of the "God, please let the market turn around!" infantry? Or do you mean the MPs at the motor pool of personal shoppers at Saks, praying they'll be the one to get that commission when you drop fifty large there? Everywhere I look are soldiers! Warriors of Worship! Marines of Morality! SEALs of Supplication! Airborne of Adoration! Seamen of... ha. Semen. Ah, man, that's a funny word.

SEMPER FI, DO OR DIE, SA-RAH! Onward, brave warriors of prayer! Carry us to the Promised Land! And by that I mean back to Anchorage in defeat.

Why We Pick On Palin

Because it's always "opposite day" for Governor Palin on the campaign trail. And it's shameless.

We will stop abuses of power, yet I abused power according to the Branchflower report regarding "Troopergate" - the very first finding.

We will stop government corruption, yet I've been part of the corruption as Governor of Alaska, doctoring expense reports to justify travel and accommodations for my children using taxpayer money.

We will stop cronyism and reform government, yet my government's cabinet is littered with cronies and high school chum, and I permitted my husband to wield the power of the governor's office.

I'm part of the middle class, an average Hockey Mom, just like you (wink wink), yet the expenditures on my couture over the past two months rival the value of some embattled mortgages.

I'll tell you that Barack Obama pals around with terrorists and believes America is imperfect, yet Todd and I were affiliated with secessionists who not only think the country is imperfect, but want no part of it.

Why do we pick on Palin? Hypocrisy. The worst kind.

Baghdad John

"She did fine in the interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric. She did a great job in those interviews"

Alaska Independence Party and the Palins: A Simmering Controversy

Against the better wishes of my fellow contributors, Warm Apple Pie will continue to push this fact-driven story: The Palins' ties to the Alaska Independence Party ("AIP") and the unwillingness of the mainstream media to explore the history of the relationship. There is a ton of unfinished meat on the bone.

Some say this is "out there" already and yesterday's news cycle. But I believe it is ripe for media plucking considering McCain-Palin's incessant push to link Obama to William Ayers.

And others are starting to agree (Colmes to the rescue? Colmes? Say it ain't so, Joe!):

From last evening's Hannity and Colmes. Around minute three, Colmes raises the parallel between the Ayers-Obama attack and the Palins' unchallenged AIP involvement. He notes how Democrats have decided not to play in this pigpen (lipsticked pigpen that is). Former Deputy Governor of Maryland, Republican Michael Steele, after two minutes of usual, overwrought shredding of Obama on his dubious connections (with the help of the always-willing Hannity), suddenly becomes very terse when confronted with AIP allegations, dismissing them as merely "irrelevant."

A simmering controversy, not a stale one. And it is starting to creep out of the blogosphere to the print media.