Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Obama leads 60% - 39% in Early Voting, McCain Scoffs

According to a Washington Post/ABC News tracking poll, early voting yields a big lead for Barack Obama. Ballots have been casted by an estimated 9% of the electorate with a projected 34% committed to getting out the vote before November 4.

When asked to respond to this latest setback, John McCain snorted, "look, I don't believe in polls or voting statistics or election results. I'm going to be President of the United States. I'm listening to my lawyers now. I'm not saying anything more. Come on, campaign staff! Back to the plane!"

An awkward moment ensued as McCain looked around and saw no staffers by his side. A reporter than asked, "Senator McCain, are you aware of the ABC News article describing the state of your campaign as 'demoralizing' and noting many of your staffers are already circulating their resumes looking for new work?"

McCain issued an ineffable grunting noise and then bursted, "F**K YOU PALIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to rip off your head and piss down your dead skull, reporter. You f**ked with the wrong marine!!!!!" After being restrained by secret service and placated, McCain slogged across the tarmac towards his aircraft grumbling under his breath, "ACORN, Ayers, Wright, Socialists, Marxists, Rezko, spread wealth, black, Arab, Muslim, radical, risky, abortionist, sex ed to kindergartners, f**k you Obama."

I'm just a humble professional chess player from Appleton, Wisconsin, but my simple antenna picks up bad, foreboding news for John McCain.

1 comment:

Warm Apple Pie said...

Still, Dems better vote. I see a bit of tightening in the polls. Obama still has his beak out in front of the margin of error, but his pursuers are in the rearview.