Friday, October 24, 2008

Joe The Plumber And Cockroaches Survive Nuclear And Political Holocausts

Joe the Plumber gearing up for a 2010 Congressional run . . . as of this morning . . . when the idea first struck him . . . well, actually, Laura Ingraham raised the concept and Joe didn't dismiss it out-of-hand.

Say it ain't so . . . AH, SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP, PALIN!!!!! PLEASE SHUT UP!!!!!! 10 more days!!!!! 10 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem . . . Joe, you'd be better suited for an entertainment vehicle like The Surreal Life or Deal Or No Deal. No one is questioning your mental dexterity when it comes to picking numbered suitcases.

Think about your $250,000 business you don't really own. Who's going to fake-watch that while you're in D.C. snaking the clogged drain of bureaucratic gridlock? What about the plumbing license you never had? Or those back taxes you owe? Or that first name you don't really have? Gosh, it's tough enough being a pretend small-business owner without the burden of real Congressional work. Plus, I hear "Trolley" will challenge you for the 5th District of the "Neighborhood of Make Believe" as Democratic incumbent King Friday VIII is retiring.

Why not run for President? Ashley Todd could be your running mate. I've already crafted your campaign slogan: "Wurzelbacher-Todd - Change You Can Believe In For Fifteen Minutes."

***UPDATE***: During a live online chat today on the Washington Times website, Sam-Joe the Sort-Of-Plumber expressed trepidation at the prospect of an Obama presidency: "When I was face to face with him, my honest first impression was that I expected something more. I had heard so much about 'his presence' in the media that I was surprised to find that he seemed very average . . . My gut feeling as he answered my questions? I was scared for America."

In a related story, Senior VP of Fox News John Moody released another blog post on the Fox Forum entitled "Moment of Truth II" stating, "Joe's fear of Barack Obama is a watershed moment for this election year. If it turns out Joe's fear is genuine, the entire electorate will revisit their support of Barack Obama because they don't know him. If Joe's fear is a hoax, then John McCain's campaign is effectively over for plumber-baiting."

He seemed "very average," huh? Once again I'll let the video of your encounter with Obama speak for itself:

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