Sunday, October 19, 2008

John McCain Dating Game

Brandi Svenning: Candidate Number Two, is your foreign policy like a soft breeze, a firm handshake, or a jackhammer?

John McCain: Definitely a jackhammer. I'm in there with some pressure, and when I'm done you're not the same as before. You're changed.

Brodie Bruce: Where do you come up with this shit? That is the cheesiest response to an honest question I've ever heard! I saw you talk to a foreign leader and it wasn't even anything like that! You kissed his ass!

John McCain: Who the hell did you see me kiss?

Brodie Bruce: Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was, but he seemed unimpressed.

John McCain: I didn't kiss any foreign leader backstage. I swear! I'm not gay.

Brodie Bruce: Hey, suitor-ette, this guy's a homophobe! You heard how repulsed he sounded! Is this the kind of guy you want answering the 3 a.m. phone call, this hate-monger?

John McCain: I don't hate gay people!

Brodie Bruce: So you love them?

John McCain: Yes! I mean, no.

Brodie Bruce: Textbook closet case. Self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality.

No comments: