Thursday, November 13, 2008

Joe the Plumber Starts Website; Charges for Freedom

Protector of all things freedomish and toilety, Joe the Plumber has got his own website up and running here. There appears to be a movement afoot - a movement to "help[] one another in times of need." Sounds socialist! Say it ain't so, Joe! But rest assured, he's just trying to lead the "backbone" of our country (I could have sworn it was the plumber's crack) to freedom. But there's a catch - freedom isn't free. In fact, it's $14.95 for a 1-year membership.

What type of freedom does your hard-earned $14.95 get you? Let's see:

1) Total Access to "Joe The Forum" where you may chat directly with Joe (freedom of speech)
2) Subscription to the "Joe The Blog" monthly newsletter (freedom of the press)
3) Free Shipping on all "Joe The Plumber" merchandise (free market economy)
4) Free Signed Copy of Joe's forthcoming book "Joe The Plumber" - Fighting for the American Dream (Paperback slated for release December 1, 2008) (free plumbing tips?)
5) Become an integral part of an American movement to restore our government to the people (a brain aneurysm, which will require the free health care that Joe opposes)

Godspeed you plunging warrior.


Warm Apple Pie said...

If you order in the next 15 minutes, I'll also throw in a "Death to Israel" hoody with Obama's picture on it.

Hugh Jee From Jersey said...

I'll join sometime next week....Tuesday, sometime between 9am-5pm. And I'll take the day off and stay close to home.

Actually $14.95 is really cheap for a plumber.

No wonder the guy couldn't pay his taxes.

Defective Pants said...

Throw in a Sham-Wow and I'm there.

James said...

I like how you guys keep calling charity socialism... charity is when one person chooses to give their money to help others.

Socialism is when the government takes your money and gives it to someone else without your permission.

Obama liked to use the analogy of sharing his toys in kindegarten as some sort of socialist act.

The true analogy would be luittle Obama sitting and playing with his mountian of toys. Surrounded by legos, cars, and planes. Little billie comes up with a tear in his eye and tells little Barry that he doesn't have any toys to play with.

Little Barry looks around the room and sees little joey the plumber playing with his two hotwheels cars. Little barry momentarily walks away from his plethora of of play things and tells little joey that he needs to give one of his cars to little billie ayers, because billie doesn't have any toys to play with.

When little joey points out that Obama has tons of toys he could share, little barry reaches down and just takes one of joey's cars and gives it to billie.

If we took the analogy further, little billie would probably throw his car at the teacher, hitting her in the eye and blinding her. He would run away, come back the next day and begin teaching the class.

Hugh Jee From Jersey said...

Thanks for the education about "what is and what ain't" a socialist.

One thing that "Joe the Plumber" isn't ...and that's a socialist.

He is, however, one of the greatest hucksters since PT Barnum.

Like Barnum, Joe doesn't want to steal your fortune.

Unlike Barnum, he wants $14.95 instead of fifty cents.