Monday, November 10, 2008

I Want Tong Po . . . GIVE ME TONG PO!!!!

The muscles from Brussels is back in the eponymous, yet abbreviated, yet f**king awesomely titled "JCVD." The "White Warrior" plays a 47-year-old, downtrodden, old before his time, forgotten action star - pretty much a biopic.

It's essentially two Van Dammes for the price of single admission: Van Damme playing Van Damme. I'd give this bound to be cult classic sleeper the tag line "one packs a punch, the other packs a piece - together they deliver!" if it wasn't already taken by his 1991 tour de force "Double Impact."

Can a buddy cop flick starring JCVD and a fat before his time Steven Seagal be long off now? NPH can play the mastermind villan. I demand this go into pre-production yesterday!

Oh, and Obama visits the White House today as a side note. Not that anyone cares since JCVD is forced to fight again because Xian Chow just told the bar patrons that their respective mothers "had sex with mules!"

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