We almost got him! Damn you Rove!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Palin to America: how does this 150k suit look on me, suckas!
You can't make this stuff up. Mostly because you don't have to:
Since her selection as John McCain's running mate, the Republican National Committee spent more than $150,000 on clothing and make-up for Gov. Sarah Palin, her husband, and even her infant son, it was reported on Tuesday evening.
Part of this was a $50k spree at Saks and a mind-bottling 70 large at Neiman Marcus. To put this in perspective, she spent $150,000 on clothes and makeup in TWO MONTHS. Remember the John Edwards $400 haircut flap?
Listen, the mainstream media is (or will be soon) all over this. This is not the story. The story needs no underscoring, jokes or hyperbole. It is what it is.
The STORY is this:
How, now, can you be a candidate for office and a Republican and not immediately repudiate your party platform and, specifically, its national candidates? If you toe the line, you are finished. You can no longer defend this campaign. If you are a Repub and have a prayer of being elected still, you should be out in front (ahead of the Dems) slinging mud at this story and at your candidates.
And yet I see none.
It's almost impressive, the sense of "we will all go down together"-ness you see from the GOP. If I were a GOP candidate within five points still of my opponent (are there even any? No, really, are there?), I would be on every talking head show I could book to talk about my disgust with this situation. I would out attack the Dems, frankly, because it is getting to the point that the only way a GOP candidate has a prayer is to be MORE vicious with their attacks on the GOP than the Democratic challenger. And yet, I see none of them doing this. Clearly they do not realize the time for self-preservation is now, and the only way for the GOP brand to survive is to have at least SOME people in office, no matter who they have to sling mud at to get there. Even if the mudslinging is at Sarah Palin's pretty new Saks pantsuits.
Since her selection as John McCain's running mate, the Republican National Committee spent more than $150,000 on clothing and make-up for Gov. Sarah Palin, her husband, and even her infant son, it was reported on Tuesday evening.
Part of this was a $50k spree at Saks and a mind-bottling 70 large at Neiman Marcus. To put this in perspective, she spent $150,000 on clothes and makeup in TWO MONTHS. Remember the John Edwards $400 haircut flap?
Listen, the mainstream media is (or will be soon) all over this. This is not the story. The story needs no underscoring, jokes or hyperbole. It is what it is.
The STORY is this:
How, now, can you be a candidate for office and a Republican and not immediately repudiate your party platform and, specifically, its national candidates? If you toe the line, you are finished. You can no longer defend this campaign. If you are a Repub and have a prayer of being elected still, you should be out in front (ahead of the Dems) slinging mud at this story and at your candidates.
And yet I see none.
It's almost impressive, the sense of "we will all go down together"-ness you see from the GOP. If I were a GOP candidate within five points still of my opponent (are there even any? No, really, are there?), I would be on every talking head show I could book to talk about my disgust with this situation. I would out attack the Dems, frankly, because it is getting to the point that the only way a GOP candidate has a prayer is to be MORE vicious with their attacks on the GOP than the Democratic challenger. And yet, I see none of them doing this. Clearly they do not realize the time for self-preservation is now, and the only way for the GOP brand to survive is to have at least SOME people in office, no matter who they have to sling mud at to get there. Even if the mudslinging is at Sarah Palin's pretty new Saks pantsuits.
The Anti-Feminist
Oh, Sweet Sarah, you minx. Do you really think that you will be able to convince Hillary's supporters to vote for you just because you are a woman? I'm no woman (although I do have beautiful breasteses), but if I was, I'd be pretty damn insulted right about now. Palin's new argument boils down to this: Throw out every policy issue, throw out my history of abusing power, throw out my lack of intellectual curiosity. Throw out every issue, personality trait, governing record and belief that I have. Throw out the fact that I have a history of opposing so-called "women's issues" and think women should pay for their own rape kits. I have a vajayjay. I giant, power-hungry vajayjay.
She openly called out for women to vote solely on the basis of gender. Can you imagine what Hannity, Limbaugh and the rest of the slime merchants would have done if Hillary made such an outward plea for gender-based voting? I smell a Hannity Dilemma.
But even McCain's own campaign head, Rick "I lied about lobbying for Fannie Mae and simply disappeared until the press forgot about it" Davis, doesn't think this will work. Why? Because women are jealous of Sarah Palin. As reported by Matt Yglesias, Rick Davis and Bill Bennett had the following exchange during a discussion of why liberal women don't support Palin:
She openly called out for women to vote solely on the basis of gender. Can you imagine what Hannity, Limbaugh and the rest of the slime merchants would have done if Hillary made such an outward plea for gender-based voting? I smell a Hannity Dilemma.
But even McCain's own campaign head, Rick "I lied about lobbying for Fannie Mae and simply disappeared until the press forgot about it" Davis, doesn't think this will work. Why? Because women are jealous of Sarah Palin. As reported by Matt Yglesias, Rick Davis and Bill Bennett had the following exchange during a discussion of why liberal women don't support Palin:
Hilarious. Now I could, like Yglesias does, point out the absurdity of ignoring the substantive reasons why some women oppose Palin. But I would rather focus on why Bennett and Davis would think this. They are smitten. Undeniably, transparently and disgustingly smitten. Smitten like a certain resident blogger I will not name (let's call him Jack K. - too obvious, I'll use J. Knowledge, instead). They refuse to even consider that someone could look at this moose-hunting moose-knuckled maverick and not see what they see - 125 pounds of vanilla pudding in a pants-suit. Which is all fine and dandy, but I can't imagine that the ladies they are trying to persuade are happy with this.BENNETT: I don’t know which drives them more crazy. Let me give you three things that I think drives them crazy, and you don’t have to comment. That’s she’s very attractive. That she’s very competent or that she’s very happy. You know, as a human being.
DAVIS: Yeah, all of the above.
Alaska pays for Palin kids to come with; Alaskan babysitters' unemployment rate skyrockets
So what - so Sarah Palin charged a few thousand dollars to the ol' Alaskan Amex for Bristol and Norwalk and the rest of her kids she named after Connecticut towns to come with her on trips. Okay, so it was about $21,000 worth of benefits and they weren't declared as income - or declared at all. Sure the kids stayed in $500+ a night rooms at the Essex House on Central Park South. Sure they showed up at official events uninvited and without one iota of appropriateness or with anything to do there other than shove food into their pieholes and make long distance phone calls afterward from the hotel phone to Alaska to talk about the unprotected sex they'd have with their hockey hooligan boyfriends when they got back.
But let's examine what was SAVED, not what was SPENT. That is the threshold issue here and that is what should be discussed.
The going rate for a room at The Essex House is, sure, like $500 or $600 bucks a night (incidentally, I know for a fact the rooms are actually pricier than that now. She must have gotten the Alaskan Secessionist Party group discount). And sure, a plane ticket from Anchorage - via a real city - to New York is like over a grand. But that isn't the real story here. Fact is, Joe Six Pack, that Sarah Palin not only made the right choice in bringing them, but actually had no choice BUT to bring them. Fact is that if Palin had NOT brought the younglings, several terrible things would have happened:
1) The Alaskan taxpayers would have had to pay for a babysitter. Possibly more than one, considering the number of angry, hungry, secessionist mouths to be fed. My amateur sleuthing has revealed the going rate for a qualified babysitter in Alaska to be approximately $900 per hour, because in the entire state there are only two Inuit twins that do it and they price-fix since they've cornered the market. Thus, if the Governor had left the kids there with a full-time babysitter, it would have cost tens of thousands of dollars more than bringing them to New York and putting them up on Central Park South. It isn't that Sarah Palin SPENT Alaska's money. It's that she SAVED Alaska money. (The First Dude couldn't take care of them because he was off at an Alaska Independence Party rally on his Arctic Cat.)
2) Each Palin daughter (sigh, okay, probably just Bristol) would have had the opportunity, with both parents out of town and only supervised by said Inuit babysitting tandem, to get knocked up (or again for the first time), thus costing more money later on down the road to pay for the screaming offspring to come on future flights - in addition to the baby-daddy who would also need to come along to be properly supervised/sterilized and for any impromptu photo ops. We can assume the Palins would then have learned their lesson and would in this future bring all the kids everywhere to keep an eye on them (as they do now that Bristol has had it "slipped by Richter, no kick save"). Or, of course, they could leave the daughters at home again, tempt fate yet again and risk further knock-uppage, since we know those Palin girls will panty-drop for the first varsity hockey player with some spiked cider that knocks on the front door of the Governor's igloo. (Sigh, okay, again, only Bristol. Fine, perhaps that was unfair... but apples don't fall far from the tree, Sarah. We can see that your husband's penis has quite a habit of seceding from his pantaloons.) As you can see from this simple equation, every time a Palin daughter (okay, again, Bristol) would be potentially left alone, by the transitive property of unprotected Alaskan teenage sex, they would be impregnated by a second string high school hockey defenseman. The formula can be written quite simply as Levi over Bristol minus Sarah equals baby.
As you can clearly see, leaving the Palin children at home would have caused not only a teenage baby boom the likes of which haven't been seen since the drugstore on my corner ran out of condoms for three days in 1994, but would have cost the state countless dollars in babysitting fees and, down the line, in, uh, further babysitting fees. Thus, Sarah Palin did not spend irrationally and against the spirit of the rules. In bringing her daughters with her, she saved us all from other and further Palins. And that's a victory for every American.
But let's examine what was SAVED, not what was SPENT. That is the threshold issue here and that is what should be discussed.
The going rate for a room at The Essex House is, sure, like $500 or $600 bucks a night (incidentally, I know for a fact the rooms are actually pricier than that now. She must have gotten the Alaskan Secessionist Party group discount). And sure, a plane ticket from Anchorage - via a real city - to New York is like over a grand. But that isn't the real story here. Fact is, Joe Six Pack, that Sarah Palin not only made the right choice in bringing them, but actually had no choice BUT to bring them. Fact is that if Palin had NOT brought the younglings, several terrible things would have happened:
1) The Alaskan taxpayers would have had to pay for a babysitter. Possibly more than one, considering the number of angry, hungry, secessionist mouths to be fed. My amateur sleuthing has revealed the going rate for a qualified babysitter in Alaska to be approximately $900 per hour, because in the entire state there are only two Inuit twins that do it and they price-fix since they've cornered the market. Thus, if the Governor had left the kids there with a full-time babysitter, it would have cost tens of thousands of dollars more than bringing them to New York and putting them up on Central Park South. It isn't that Sarah Palin SPENT Alaska's money. It's that she SAVED Alaska money. (The First Dude couldn't take care of them because he was off at an Alaska Independence Party rally on his Arctic Cat.)
2) Each Palin daughter (sigh, okay, probably just Bristol) would have had the opportunity, with both parents out of town and only supervised by said Inuit babysitting tandem, to get knocked up (or again for the first time), thus costing more money later on down the road to pay for the screaming offspring to come on future flights - in addition to the baby-daddy who would also need to come along to be properly supervised/sterilized and for any impromptu photo ops. We can assume the Palins would then have learned their lesson and would in this future bring all the kids everywhere to keep an eye on them (as they do now that Bristol has had it "slipped by Richter, no kick save"). Or, of course, they could leave the daughters at home again, tempt fate yet again and risk further knock-uppage, since we know those Palin girls will panty-drop for the first varsity hockey player with some spiked cider that knocks on the front door of the Governor's igloo. (Sigh, okay, again, only Bristol. Fine, perhaps that was unfair... but apples don't fall far from the tree, Sarah. We can see that your husband's penis has quite a habit of seceding from his pantaloons.) As you can see from this simple equation, every time a Palin daughter (okay, again, Bristol) would be potentially left alone, by the transitive property of unprotected Alaskan teenage sex, they would be impregnated by a second string high school hockey defenseman. The formula can be written quite simply as Levi over Bristol minus Sarah equals baby.
As you can clearly see, leaving the Palin children at home would have caused not only a teenage baby boom the likes of which haven't been seen since the drugstore on my corner ran out of condoms for three days in 1994, but would have cost the state countless dollars in babysitting fees and, down the line, in, uh, further babysitting fees. Thus, Sarah Palin did not spend irrationally and against the spirit of the rules. In bringing her daughters with her, she saved us all from other and further Palins. And that's a victory for every American.
"Country First" Or "Alaska First," Sarah? Just Who Is Sarah Palin?
Where is Michelle Bachmann when you need her. There is anti-Americanism afoot!It seems Sarah and Todd Palin were members of the Alaska Independence Party ("AIP"). Its slogan: "Alaska First. Alaska Always." Its platform: Secede from the United States of America and become a sovereign nation at all costs. In the words of its pioneering member, Joe Vogler: "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions."
More startling, the AIP and Bill Ayers have much in common when it comes to approved tactics. From Talking Points Memo:
The AIP has been described as an extreme-right, anti-government organization comparable to militia movements such as that which carried out the 1995 Oklahoma City attack. The group's aims are voiced no more forcefully than by its founder, Joe Vogler, as CNN observes in direct quotations: "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government...," Vogler states in one quotation, "...And I won't be buried under their damn flag." In another quotation, Vogler says: "My government is my worst enemy. I'm going to fight them with any means at hand." As though to leave no doubt in our minds regarding his willingness to use violence to achieve his secessionist aims, Vogler says in one final quote: "I hope we don't have to take human life, but if they go on trampling our property rights, look out, we're ready to die."
Sarah Palin sent the AIP a video greeting welcoming the party delegates to their 2008 convention in Fairbanks, Alaska. There's another clip floating around where the AIP Vice Chairman, sporting a burly, anti-establishment ZZ Top beard, refers to Sarah Palin as a former member of the AIP before she was mayor of Wasilla and is still "sympathetic to her former membership" (after minute six of the attached video). Reportedly, the Palins attended the 1994 AIP Convention in Wasilla, Alaska.
Now, I'm going to need some fact-checking from my fellow contributors, but if this is a verified news story, why doesn't this line of attack effectively end Palin's bid for Vice President and seal McCain's fate? And where is the mainstream media on this?
Not only did she "pal around with secessionist(s)" - here the plural form is warranted - but she married one? Is this not the epitome of Bachmann's Anti-Americanism or the GOP pundit class's "guilt by association?" Let's get some perspective using the besieged Barack Obama - if there was a clip of Senator Obama welcoming the Chicago chapter of Communist Party USA to the United Center on Madison Street, praising the importance of their movement, with the party's chairman affectionately referring to Obama as a former member, how fast would his double-digit cushion evaporate? Bill Ayers set off pipe bombs in government buildings. The AIP wants to lay claim to an entire state and sever it from the Union by any means necessary?
With each passing day, Sarah Palin's hoked-up rhetoric gets more and more deliciously hypocritical and proof-positive of her political meretriciousness.
From Humble, Misspelled (Or Is It Misspelt?) Roots Comes The Potatoe
The story of our namesake: In 1992, five months before the presidential election, 12-year-old William Figueroa is told to add an "e" during a spelling bee at Munoz Rivera School in Trenton, New Jersey.
He has wrote the word "potato" in cursive on the blackboard. He thinks he is right. Dan Quayle thinks he is wrong.
16 years later, our blog hatches.
Much like Quayle's panegyrical pickle lauding Figueroa's additional vowel, so to is the Potatoe: A ridiculous moment captured in pivotal times - the zeitgeist of this election cycle.
He has wrote the word "potato" in cursive on the blackboard. He thinks he is right. Dan Quayle thinks he is wrong.
16 years later, our blog hatches.
Much like Quayle's panegyrical pickle lauding Figueroa's additional vowel, so to is the Potatoe: A ridiculous moment captured in pivotal times - the zeitgeist of this election cycle.
Is It Time For The Nuclear Option: Reverend Wright
The game is getting away from John McCain as Obama opens up a double-digit margin in some polls. Ayers, Joe the Plumber, Muslim, Socialism, pallin' around with Ayers, wealth redistribution, worked closely with Ayers, ACORN, Barack Hussein Obama, "Arab fear," anti-American, inexperience, some more Ayers, texts with Scarlett Johansson - nothing sticks to the Teflon Democrat, or everything sticks, but the folks are too busy licking their personal financial wounds to give a rat's ass.
13 days until the election, not to mention early voting has begun in many states (with a reportedly strong turnout by the Democrats).
What's an old Navy man to do in desperate times with bilge water rising?
Desperate measures.
"My friends . . . LOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!! BEHOLD!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS LUNATIC!!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. JESUS CHRIST!!!!! Can I get that ballot back!?!?! Yes, yes, YES - I WANT TO CHANGE MY F**KING VOTE!!!!! YOU HEARD ME - GIMME THE DAMN BALLOT BACK!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH, PLEASE LET ME VOTE FOR MCCAIN!!!!! PLEASE!!!! I WANT MCCAIN!!! OH CHRIST, PLEASE GIVE ME THE BALLOT BACK YOU BASTARD!!!!! And, er, um . . . well . . . Palin . . . I have to vote for Palin too? . . . can't just have McCain . . . really . . . did . . . not . . . know that . . . ummmm . . . aaaaaaaah, oooh boy . . . let me see that clip again . . . hmmmmm . . . this is hard . . . okay, her too. Yes, McCain and Palin. Vote for both. Anyone who doesn't pal around with this nutcup.
Man, Reverend Wright should be an army chaplain on the Event Horizon. Liberate tutame, voters!
13 days until the election, not to mention early voting has begun in many states (with a reportedly strong turnout by the Democrats).
What's an old Navy man to do in desperate times with bilge water rising?
Desperate measures.
"My friends . . . LOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!! BEHOLD!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS LUNATIC!!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. JESUS CHRIST!!!!! Can I get that ballot back!?!?! Yes, yes, YES - I WANT TO CHANGE MY F**KING VOTE!!!!! YOU HEARD ME - GIMME THE DAMN BALLOT BACK!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH, PLEASE LET ME VOTE FOR MCCAIN!!!!! PLEASE!!!! I WANT MCCAIN!!! OH CHRIST, PLEASE GIVE ME THE BALLOT BACK YOU BASTARD!!!!! And, er, um . . . well . . . Palin . . . I have to vote for Palin too? . . . can't just have McCain . . . really . . . did . . . not . . . know that . . . ummmm . . . aaaaaaaah, oooh boy . . . let me see that clip again . . . hmmmmm . . . this is hard . . . okay, her too. Yes, McCain and Palin. Vote for both. Anyone who doesn't pal around with this nutcup.
Man, Reverend Wright should be an army chaplain on the Event Horizon. Liberate tutame, voters!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Whoops! Are You Sure You're Not President Bush?
90% of the time I voted with Bush. The other 10% I only spoke like him.In Western Pennsylvania today, John McCain mangles a punchline, then spends the next eight uncomfortable seconds butchering his subsequent lines in a pretty amusing (no, I just watched it again - it's downright side-splitting. Belly guffaws) effort to remove probably both feet from his mouth.
"Senator Obama's supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately (crowd: boooooooooooooooo). And you know . . . I couldn't agree with them more (crowd: crickets)."
Then, panicking, hurriedly trying to extricate himself from the inextricable verbal maze, McCain insults the rest of the country with a Palin's "Real America"/Pfotenhauer's "Real Virginia" sort of zeal.
"I couldn't disagree . . . with you . . . I couldn't agree with you more . . . then the fact . . . that Western Pennsylvania is the most patriotic, most, ah, god-loving, most . . . most patriotic part of America . . . eh . . . this is a great part of the country."
Ben Smith at Politico is disappointed: "And here I was thinking that that was Park Slope."
I voice similar disappointment that Long Island allegedly didn't make McCain's short list of most holy American sites.
Finally, Cindy McCain and her physical equanimity which has to belie the insanity welling within. Her frozen face is priceless next to McCain's tongue winding in knots - like she's thinking "get it together, old man. For f**k's sake. I'm a beer heiress, you dumb dustmuppet. I deserve the whitest house. You think I bumped uglies with your wrinkled sack all these years for the thrill of the hump? I get nothing for rollin' your old bones? I will wet-ride Todd Palin out of spite on national television, I sh*t you not."
GOP Hussy Bachmann Administers My Crazy Pill Dosage, Denies "Anti-American" Statements Despite Video Evidence
Unconscionable.
I would have preferred she hire Barry Scheck to cast doubt on the authenticity of the footage from Chris Matthews's Hardball or question the chain of custody and the promulgated procedures for videotape handling over at MSNBC. Better yet, she could have denied she ever appeared on Matthews's program.
I mean - OJ's sell was only a bit less challenging and he got off. I don't think a clip of OJ doing the Heisman pose with Ron Goldman's head would have made a difference to that jury. And Bachmann follows suit, relying on Joe the Lazy Citizen's normal rejection of irrefutable facts verified by concrete visual or scientific evidence.
These deep-in-the-tank right wingers have no shame reflex. None at all. Unflinching cynics.
You have anti-American views, Michelle Bachmann. Let me repeat myself for firm posterity: Michelle Bachmann has anti-American views. Let me not mince words: Congresswoman Bachmann from Minnesota's Sixth District holds anti-American views. I'm not just concerned that she might possess these views - I'm stating that indeed she has them and she adheres to them.
I am Sidecar. I am of sound mind. I just said that sh*t. Please hold me accountable and assign me the position that Michelle Bachmann holds anti-American views until such time I abdicate this stance via an unambiguous retraction.
Gosh, I'd rather choke to death on these GOP-base crazy pills, than keep taking them for four more years. At least the DNC loons bottle crazy pills in gelatin-capsule form for much easier swallowing.
You better vote, or that's all she wrote!
Yes, of course, we here at the Potatoe will be re-running this friendly reminder on Election Day. But it's never too early to get out the vote. Wooooooooooo!!!!!
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
McCain seizes on Biden's "test his mettle" gaffe
The McCain camp has been jumping all over Sen. Joe Biden's remarks that if elected, Sen. Obama will be tested by a major international crisis within the first six months of his presidency. As reported by Sidecar, Biden, speaking at a campaign function in Seattle, prognosticated that the world is watching Sen. Obama and will seek to "test his mettle" in the first six months because of his perceived lack of experience.
Of course, based on historical analysis, almost EVERY president is tested in their first six months by an international crisis. For Kennedy, the example cited by Biden, it was the Bay of Pigs, a plan devised by the CIA under Eisenhower (not the Cuban Missile Crisis, which didn't occur until mid-1962). For Reagan it was Lebanon and Grenada, for Bush I it was the First Gulf War, for Clinton it was the bombing of the World Trade Center in '93, and for Bush II it was 9/11.
Both McCain and Palin have used the comment today in their campaign appearances. And I must say, McCain's approach today was the first time I've read his comments lately and thought, "wow, that's actually a great argument." Color me impressed. Of course, reminding voters concerned about your age may not be the greatest idea in the world, but I like the line:
“Sen. Biden referred to how Jack Kennedy was tested in the Cuban
missile crisis. My friends, I have a little personal experience in that. I was on board the USS Enterprise. I sat in the cockpit of the flight deck off of Cuba. I had a target. My friends, you know how close we came to a nuclear war. America will not have a president who needs to be tested. I've been tested, my friends.”
Courtesy of Politico.
The Augural Youth Of Barack Obama: Biden Foresees International Crisis, Obama Cries For Assistance
Joe Biden is gaffe-tastic! At a fundraiser in Seattle, the "Thanks-But-No-Thanks-On-That-Help-To-Nowhere" Senator from Delaware complimented Obama's intellect through the implication that he is politically green, holds accurate, yet arcane positions with respect to foreign matters and will need big time help in the first six months of his presidency:It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Watch, we're going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy and he's going to need help . . . to stand with him. Because it's not going to be apparent initially; it's not going to be apparent that we're right.
Way to emphasize Obama's truncated record as a first-term junior senator with no executive experience. And as expected, McCain-Palin pounce on Biden's mastication of a simple message - that Obama is smart and right.
It's never a good moment for the campaign when your stump drivel permits your opponents, champing at the bit, to take back the news cycle and prompt a newspaper to entitle an article: "McCain cites Biden to slam Obama").
God love yah, Joe, but do you mind stepping out back for a two-week-long smoke? Don't worry - we'll take it from here. Why don't you grab a bite with Joey Danko at Katie's Restaurant (closed for over a decade).
Sarah Palin Will Rule The Senate With An Iron Wink
Palin responds to a third grader's question: What does the Vice President do?
Actually, Sarah, just vote in 50-50 ties and look smashing behind McCain during State of the Union speeches.
And could we get the Governor another bridge word besides "also"? How about "furthermore" or "moreover"?
Actually, Sarah, just vote in 50-50 ties and look smashing behind McCain during State of the Union speeches.
And could we get the Governor another bridge word besides "also"? How about "furthermore" or "moreover"?
Early Voting in Kansas: McCain vs. The Terrorist
As reported by Ben Smith at Politico, an Obama supporter depicts early voting in Kansas:
I voted today. I'm a 33 year old, white criminal defense lawyer in southwest Kansas. The early voting is at the courthouse. I arrive to find 12 old white people occupying all the voting machines. I wait. A machine opens up. The 80 something white male who had been using the machine is now up at the front table asking if he can vote again. The lady running the table says "no, one person, one vote." He replies, "well, I just want to make sure we don't have some terrorist running the country."This obviously catches my attention so I look at the old man. Our eyes meet. He points a bony finger at me and says, "Don't let it happen." Thinking this old man could one day kill someone and need my services, I don't say anything and proceed to vote. As I'm leaving the voting room, the young black janitor is in the hallway in front of the room with his cleaning cart. "Did you do the right thing?" he asks me. "You know it." I say and we exchange a terrorist fist jab.
One day even the Sunflower State will blossom with enlightenment. Ignorance cannot stop progress, only delay it.
I voted today. I'm a 33 year old, white criminal defense lawyer in southwest Kansas. The early voting is at the courthouse. I arrive to find 12 old white people occupying all the voting machines. I wait. A machine opens up. The 80 something white male who had been using the machine is now up at the front table asking if he can vote again. The lady running the table says "no, one person, one vote." He replies, "well, I just want to make sure we don't have some terrorist running the country."This obviously catches my attention so I look at the old man. Our eyes meet. He points a bony finger at me and says, "Don't let it happen." Thinking this old man could one day kill someone and need my services, I don't say anything and proceed to vote. As I'm leaving the voting room, the young black janitor is in the hallway in front of the room with his cleaning cart. "Did you do the right thing?" he asks me. "You know it." I say and we exchange a terrorist fist jab.
One day even the Sunflower State will blossom with enlightenment. Ignorance cannot stop progress, only delay it.
So long as you're not being divisive about it...
Picking up where Katherine Harris-wannabee Rep. Michele Bachmann left off, Rep. Robin Hayes (R-N.C.) told a campaign crowd in North Carolina on Saturday that
"liberals hate real Americans that work and accomplish and achieve and believe in God."Making matters worse, Rep. Hayes (by the way, "Robin?" Really?) initially denied making the odious statement quite vociferously, though he has since been confronted with an audio tape of his speech and has been forced to admit it.
His defense now is that "there is no doubt that it came out completely the wrong way. I actually was trying to work to keep the crowd as respectful as possible, so this is definitely not what I intended.” Yeah, good one.
Thanks to our friends at Politico and The New York Observer for bringing this mendacity to light.
My favorite part of the article is that Hayes had followed Rep. Patrick McHenry, also a North Carolina Republican, who laid out the choice between McCain and Obama.
"It's like black and white," yelled someone from the crowd.
Subtle.
GOP Courtesan Bachmann Celebrates Terry Schiavo's Vigor
"She was a woman who was healthy."
"I am in fine fettle," Terry Schiavo said in response to Bachmann's assessment of her health. "I thank the honorable Congresswoman from Minnesota for dispelling any rumors that my condition had taken a turn for the worst. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my workout: I have to go follow a balloon with my head."
Lampooning the Republican "base" is no fun anymore because its constituents are so easily defined (much to the chagrin of free-thinking, intelligent conservatives like Andrew Sullivan. I couldn't stomach the sloppy conflation of zealot base and rational theorists. It would almost prompt me to escape to the Democrats and try to moderate that bunch from within).
They hate homosexuals.
They hate science.
They love life for the nine months of gestation through the moment of birth.
They hate life after birth unless you're a poor soul who would prefer death to the torment of life.
They love America. They are psychotic stalkers of America. They'll love America even as it crumbles. They'll chant "USA" as we lose our power in the world because America wasn't imperfect enough to point out its flaws.
Sadder still is that the 6th Congressional District of Minnesota elected this glassy-eyed void. Shame on you.
Pray for Tracy's Husband
This is the base of McCain/Bush/Palin Republicanism. Can someone please explain to religious nuts like the ignoramus in this video that the Bible doesn't support hatred, let alone hatred based merely on a person's name, family, background, etc.? Also, with all this "God will take care of me" stuff. No he won't. He's tired of carrying your fat ass across the sand. Help yourself, you lazy lunatic - and I'm not talking about another box of Mallomars! God is done helping you. You've used more than your share of his welfare. The next set of footprints you'll see in the sand will be the ones leaving you for a nice hammock and a Corona. He deserves it, his back must be killing him.
Can you imagine being married to this shrew? Yes, sweetheart, pray, because if anyone needs a prayer, it's your husband. Pray that you wake up from your self-induced slumber of ignorance. Pray that your husband doesn't lose his job because you and others like you are completely brainwashed nutballs. Pray that you lose your voice, so he doesn't have to hear about the headache God blessed you with every night for the last 10 years, or how God wants you to watch Fox News and give your grocery money to the reverend in the Rolls Royce. Dummy.
Can you imagine being married to this shrew? Yes, sweetheart, pray, because if anyone needs a prayer, it's your husband. Pray that you wake up from your self-induced slumber of ignorance. Pray that your husband doesn't lose his job because you and others like you are completely brainwashed nutballs. Pray that you lose your voice, so he doesn't have to hear about the headache God blessed you with every night for the last 10 years, or how God wants you to watch Fox News and give your grocery money to the reverend in the Rolls Royce. Dummy.
GOP Floozy Bachmann Comments On The Evolution "Controversy"
Bachmann takes umbrage with Evolution:"Hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design."
Okay, go! Start naming them: hundreds and hundreds of scientists who discredit evolution and acknowledge "intelligent design" as an established scientific theory. Is there a bigger example of Luntzian wordsmithery than the euphemistically-dubbed "intelligent design"? Nothing intelligent about it and there is certainly no design beyond 6000 years ago - when God created man and animals for Mark Wahlberg to talk to. More apropos to call it "Retarded Disorder" or "Silly Mess" or "Moronic Cluster-f**k."
I now get why the bible-beaters are always trying to burn books or remove them from circulation: Eventually, only one book will remain - the Bible - and all of its fresh, contemporary, non-anachronistic mores and taboos (like stoning whores, killing unruly slaves and sacrificing sons)can guide our daily lives.
Go, Michelle! Start listing them. Hundreds and hundreds of scientists. Hurry up! I'm timing you!
Okay, go! Start naming them: hundreds and hundreds of scientists who discredit evolution and acknowledge "intelligent design" as an established scientific theory. Is there a bigger example of Luntzian wordsmithery than the euphemistically-dubbed "intelligent design"? Nothing intelligent about it and there is certainly no design beyond 6000 years ago - when God created man and animals for Mark Wahlberg to talk to. More apropos to call it "Retarded Disorder" or "Silly Mess" or "Moronic Cluster-f**k."
I now get why the bible-beaters are always trying to burn books or remove them from circulation: Eventually, only one book will remain - the Bible - and all of its fresh, contemporary, non-anachronistic mores and taboos (like stoning whores, killing unruly slaves and sacrificing sons)can guide our daily lives.
Go, Michelle! Start listing them. Hundreds and hundreds of scientists. Hurry up! I'm timing you!
GOP Lass Michelle Bachmann Practically Tongues POTUS
Infamous Bachmann-Bush lip smack after the 2007 State of the Union. As put by one Minnesota commentator:
"The death grip that Bachmann put on President Bush after a State of the Union speech has become legendary. Laura Bush may have had family-value issues with that kiss."
Fool me once, shame on . . . you.
Fool me twice, er . . . will someone get this crazy dame's sweaty mitt off my shoulder. She's mussing up my suit. I mean Jesus didn't get touch this much by the Apostles.
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