Showing posts with label Michelle Bachmann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michelle Bachmann. Show all posts

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Never Say "Bachmann" Five Times Into A Mirror


Like any good movie baddie, Michelle Bachmann is back. You thought she was dead, but she is not. Sure, the villagers may have burned down her castle with torches, but Bachmann cannot be killed by any contrivance of man. Every time I see her, the creepy piano score from Halloween clicks on inside my head.

You see, Michelle Bachmann is an urban legend. She is Keyser Söze. She does not exist. Or, should I say, the words that come out of her mouth and are captured on film do not exist. You might recall that a while back, Michelle called for the media to do an expose on members of Congress and "find out if they are pro-America or anti-America," in addition to saying that she was “very concerned” that Barack Obama “may have anti-American views.” If you've been reading this blog - and judging by the attendance figures, you haven't - you might recall Sidecar and Warm Apple Pie's raging hard-on of hatred for Michelle, expressed here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and, finally, here.

Well, as it turns out, that was all a figment of their imagination - and ours. You see, Michelle never said those things. As Politico reports here for the benefit of us simpletons who didn't pick up the phone for days after seeing The Ring, Bachmann never said any of that. Those comments are, in her words, spoken - naturally - on Fox News, an "urban legend." Let Bloody Mary herself tell you:

Asked about the comment Tuesday night on Fox’s “Hannity & Colmes,” Bachmann said, “That’s not what I said at all.” “You've said you were concerned during the campaign that Obama had anti-American views. You said the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look at the views of the people in Congress and find out if they're pro or anti America,” host Alan Colmes said. “It's an urban legend that was created,” she responded. “That isn't what I said at all.”

Absolutely, positively not what she said. Totally not what almost cost her a congressional seat. Without question not the reason the GOP pulled its funding for her campaign. And, further and finally, absolutely not what she said in the following clip:




Please. Next the Liberal Media is going to be telling us that drinking Coke and eating Pop Rocks makes your stomach explode.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Who's El Tinklenberg?

Who cares? He's trying to supplant GOP moll Michelle Bachmann, incumbent Congresswoman for the 6th District of Minnesota, arbiter of anti-Americanism, rumored to hate puppies and rainbows. That's all I need to know.

Here's Mr. Tinklenberg's new campaign ad using footage from Bachmann's calamitous performance on Hardball:





And here's where you can donate to El Tinklenberg's revived campaign (now polling 47% to Bachmann's 44%): http://www.tinklenberg08.com/.

El Tinklenberg is "rebuilding optimism in America." But mostly he's asking Minnesotans to let the door hit Bachmann on her way out!

Michelle Bachmann. Hates puppies. Hates rainbows. Not ready to lead. My name is Warm Apple Pie and I approve this message on behalf of El Tinklenberg.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

"Country First" Or "Alaska First," Sarah? Just Who Is Sarah Palin?

Where is Michelle Bachmann when you need her. There is anti-Americanism afoot!

It seems Sarah and Todd Palin were members of the Alaska Independence Party ("AIP"). Its slogan: "Alaska First. Alaska Always." Its platform: Secede from the United States of America and become a sovereign nation at all costs. In the words of its pioneering member, Joe Vogler: "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions."

More startling, the AIP and Bill Ayers have much in common when it comes to approved tactics. From Talking Points Memo:

The AIP has been described as an extreme-right, anti-government organization comparable to militia movements such as that which carried out the 1995 Oklahoma City attack. The group's aims are voiced no more forcefully than by its founder, Joe Vogler, as CNN observes in direct quotations: "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government...," Vogler states in one quotation, "...And I won't be buried under their damn flag." In another quotation, Vogler says: "My government is my worst enemy. I'm going to fight them with any means at hand." As though to leave no doubt in our minds regarding his willingness to use violence to achieve his secessionist aims, Vogler says in one final quote: "I hope we don't have to take human life, but if they go on trampling our property rights, look out, we're ready to die."

Sarah Palin sent the AIP a video greeting welcoming the party delegates to their 2008 convention in Fairbanks, Alaska. There's another clip floating around where the AIP Vice Chairman, sporting a burly, anti-establishment ZZ Top beard, refers to Sarah Palin as a former member of the AIP before she was mayor of Wasilla and is still "sympathetic to her former membership" (after minute six of the attached video). Reportedly, the Palins attended the 1994 AIP Convention in Wasilla, Alaska.

Now, I'm going to need some fact-checking from my fellow contributors, but if this is a verified news story, why doesn't this line of attack effectively end Palin's bid for Vice President and seal McCain's fate? And where is the mainstream media on this?

Not only did she "pal around with secessionist(s)" - here the plural form is warranted - but she married one? Is this not the epitome of Bachmann's Anti-Americanism or the GOP pundit class's "guilt by association?" Let's get some perspective using the besieged Barack Obama - if there was a clip of Senator Obama welcoming the Chicago chapter of Communist Party USA to the United Center on Madison Street, praising the importance of their movement, with the party's chairman affectionately referring to Obama as a former member, how fast would his double-digit cushion evaporate? Bill Ayers set off pipe bombs in government buildings. The AIP wants to lay claim to an entire state and sever it from the Union by any means necessary?

With each passing day, Sarah Palin's hoked-up rhetoric gets more and more deliciously hypocritical and proof-positive of her political meretriciousness.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

GOP Hussy Bachmann Administers My Crazy Pill Dosage, Denies "Anti-American" Statements Despite Video Evidence


Unconscionable.

I would have preferred she hire Barry Scheck to cast doubt on the authenticity of the footage from Chris Matthews's Hardball or question the chain of custody and the promulgated procedures for videotape handling over at MSNBC. Better yet, she could have denied she ever appeared on Matthews's program.

I mean - OJ's sell was only a bit less challenging and he got off. I don't think a clip of OJ doing the Heisman pose with Ron Goldman's head would have made a difference to that jury. And Bachmann follows suit, relying on Joe the Lazy Citizen's normal rejection of irrefutable facts verified by concrete visual or scientific evidence.

These deep-in-the-tank right wingers have no shame reflex. None at all. Unflinching cynics.

You have anti-American views, Michelle Bachmann. Let me repeat myself for firm posterity: Michelle Bachmann has anti-American views. Let me not mince words: Congresswoman Bachmann from Minnesota's Sixth District holds anti-American views. I'm not just concerned that she might possess these views - I'm stating that indeed she has them and she adheres to them.

I am Sidecar. I am of sound mind. I just said that sh*t. Please hold me accountable and assign me the position that Michelle Bachmann holds anti-American views until such time I abdicate this stance via an unambiguous retraction.

Gosh, I'd rather choke to death on these GOP-base crazy pills, than keep taking them for four more years. At least the DNC loons bottle crazy pills in gelatin-capsule form for much easier swallowing.