Whoops! Are You Sure You're Not President Bush?

90% of the time I voted with Bush. The other 10% I only spoke like him.

In Western Pennsylvania today, John McCain mangles a punchline, then spends the next eight uncomfortable seconds butchering his subsequent lines in a pretty amusing (no, I just watched it again - it's downright side-splitting. Belly guffaws) effort to remove probably both feet from his mouth.


"Senator Obama's supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately (crowd: boooooooooooooooo). And you know . . . I couldn't agree with them more (crowd: crickets)."

Then, panicking, hurriedly trying to extricate himself from the inextricable verbal maze, McCain insults the rest of the country with a Palin's "Real America"/Pfotenhauer's "Real Virginia" sort of zeal.

"I couldn't disagree . . . with you . . . I couldn't agree with you more . . . then the fact . . . that Western Pennsylvania is the most patriotic, most, ah, god-loving, most . . . most patriotic part of America . . . eh . . . this is a great part of the country."

Ben Smith at Politico is disappointed: "And here I was thinking that that was Park Slope."

I voice similar disappointment that Long Island allegedly didn't make McCain's short list of most holy American sites.

Finally, Cindy McCain and her physical equanimity which has to belie the insanity welling within. Her frozen face is priceless next to McCain's tongue winding in knots - like she's thinking "get it together, old man. For f**k's sake. I'm a beer heiress, you dumb dustmuppet. I deserve the whitest house. You think I bumped uglies with your wrinkled sack all these years for the thrill of the hump? I get nothing for rollin' your old bones? I will wet-ride Todd Palin out of spite on national television, I sh*t you not."