The Potatoe Runs a Test...

Good afternoon people. Today, to welcome you all back to the Potatoe (or to find some new friends), we're going to highlight some of the headlines we've seen come across the ticker today...

"Dakota Fanning attends premeire of Twilight: New Moon movie and receives copy of Sarah Palin autobiography while mourning death of Ken Ober"

"Maersk Alabama crew fend off pirate attack while watching Jenna Jameson on Oprah and discussing Elizabeth Smart kidnapper situation"

"Obama to celebrate Thanksgiving by receiving H1N1 Swine Flu shot and shopping on Black Friday with Amanda Peet, Lady GaGa and Manny Pacquiao"

"Michelle Wie watches meteor shower with Dana Delaney and Michelle Obama while discussing 2012"

"Giant jellyfish to rock Sugar Bowl with Adam Sandler and Michael Scott"

Now, we could have gone dirty with this, but we decided to keep it clean. Shockingly, these are the top searches across the internet right now. Giant jellyfish? Meteor shower? What happened to the good old days when people searched for porn???

It Puts The Palin In The Basket (With Update)

Andrew Sullivan and support staff at the Daily Dish have gone postal on Palin yet again and descended into fullbore bananas-mode. They now meddle with the dark arts of fanatacism, conspiracy theorizing and celebrity derangement disorder.

Pulling the plug on Dish posts based on new, "shocking" (sarcastic finger quotes, not for citation) evidence brought to bare through Palin's book, evidence that must be digested and considered now rather than later - because of the "possibility of a huge scandal" - is akin to John McCain suspending his campaign to think hard about the economy. It appears he is going after the "fantastic story of her fifth pregnancy" again with renewed zeal (Trig's mommy is Bristol not Sarah's, or something to that effect).

As if the smoking gun is in the pages of Going Rogue. It's not. Sullivan loves to create an atmosphere of intrigue and innuendo around Palin's tall tales (admittedly many), but the payoff is never worth the buildup and the portended "huge scandal" is invariably nothing more than a colorful restatement of the obvious.

Sullivan's grand proclamation of the coming exegesis of Going Rogue, a monastic vow of silence necessary to play the part of the erudite super-sleuth:

"To Our Readers :

This is only the second time in its nearly ten-year history that the Dish has gone silent. The reason now is the same as the reason then. When dealing with a delusional fantasist like Sarah Palin, it takes time to absorb and make sense of the various competing narratives that she tells about her life. There are so many fabrications and delusions in the book, mixed in with facts, that just making sense of it - and comparing it with objective reality as we know it, and the subjective reality she has previously provided - is a bewildering task. She is a deeply disturbed person which makes this work of fiction and fact all the more challenging to read. And the fact that she is now the leader of the Republican party and a potential presidential candidate, makes this process of deconstruction an important civil responsibility. We take this seriously as we always have. We want to be fair to her, and to her family, and to the innocent people she has brought into the spotlight. And we are not reporters. We are merely analysts trying to make sense of evidence already in the public domain, evidence that points in all sorts of directions, only one of which can be true.

Since the Dish has tried to be rigorous and careful in analyzing Palin's unhinged grip on reality from the very beginning - specifically her fantastic story of her fifth pregnancy - we feel it's vital that we grapple with this new data as fairly and as rigorously as possible. That takes time to get right. And it is so complicated we simply cannot focus on anything else.
There are only three of us.

And we have had the book for less than a day. We feel we owe it to you to get it right - or as right as we can - until we post or publish anything. As readers know, we also differ on some key issues and intend to air them and thrash this out until we are confident that whatever we publish is as fair as possible.

At some point, we will also go back and make sure we have not missed all the evidence of the other lies that Palin is now peddling. We won't miss anything. But we ask for your patience.
There is a possibility here of such a huge scandal that we would be crazy not to take our time either to debunk it or move it forward for further examination.

We have only one commitment: to get this right. Please bear with us as we do the best we can."

What's that you say??? Hmmmm??? Palin's a liar, you say????? Good work Holmes! Scotland Yard thanks you!!!

***UPDATE***: I will always remember where I was on November 19, 2009, when Sullivan and his unrelenting, uncompromising, unassailable crackerjack team of investigative journalists over at the Dish cracked the Palin code, winnowed out the truth, deciphered it, and prove once and for all, to the chagrin of their naysayers and in the name of truth, justice, liberty, apple pie, Glen Beck, and the "American Way," that Trig's mother is indeed . . .:

This Dish will resume as normal tomorrow morning. We apologize for the lacuna. And I suppose some will say we've gotten this book and the issues it raises out of perspective. But since the last campaign, we have raised many questions about Palin to which we have been given no incontestable answers (and still haven't) and the only real evidence we have are news stories, interviews and now, critically this book.

In his hagiography of Palin, Matt Continetti accuses yours truly of earnestness about all this. I am grateful for his not accusing me of cynicism. I remain earnest in both suspecting every word she says but also in trying to find out the truth as best we can. It's not that Palin cannot tell the truth; it is that it is so mixed up with lies and delusions that separating them all out is not a quick or easy task. The Dish, meanwhile, has aired a whole range of views about her various 33 and counting verified lies, and the Dish's own Patrick Appel has weighed in independently on the whole, bizarre pregnancy/labor story, which has mystified me from Day One. So I feel obliged to do the homework properly - to be fair to Palin and to our readers as much as anything else.

Anyway, we're done now. And I hope to be up half the night trying to write a post on the great mystery of the stories about Trig, stories that have bedeviled the blogosphere and many others for months. There is no proof here of anything, but there is a much more nuanced and detailed narrative of the events (especially now we have Palin's first considered version of the events since the campaign) that when taken together has definitely helped illuminate what was once obscure and, well, bizarre. Believe it or not, it makes a little more sense now.

Stay tuned. And then the Dish will return to its normal programming.

. . . yep, sounds about right. Thanks for the hot lead. Don't rush back from your "lacuna," Definitely-Not-Captain Sully. We'll be fine on our own for awhile, you know, hearing Palin speak and realizing she's full of shit based on common sense, our ears, our eyes and the facts as we already know them.

"I'm Resigning, and Job Growth Also"

That quittiest of quitters, Sarah Palin, finally resigned. In a Potatoe exclusive, we have learned that the real reason for her resignation was her violation of Alaska's constitution by simultaneously holding two public offices: (1) Governor of the State of Alaska and (2) Mayor of Crazytown. Oh Sarah, while you have chosen to forsake Alaska's larger concerns for a smaller, yet more fanatic, constituency, you will always be Governor of our hearts. And longjohns.

Quitter McGhee summed things up: “So, how about, in honor of the American soldier, you quit making things up.”

Because when you make things up about Sarah Palin, it dishonors our soldiers. You see! It's all connected! When you don't curb your dog, American astronauts lose the will to fly. So while we are all at it, how about, in honor of the American astronaut, you curb your dog. Jerk.

And enough with the apologetics! Tom Cruz and all the other Hollywood starlets wouldn't know what to do if they were trapped in the Alaskan wilderness with nothing to fend for themselves but their bare hands (covered in gortex sub-zero gloves), a long-distance hunting rifle with night-vision scope, and a helicopter. Let's see Xenu save you from that, you apologetics.

I'm In Palinville And Andrew Sullivan Is The Mayor

Breaking news: Palin not fat enough before Trig's birth. And in our next segment, Barack Obama born in Saudi Arabia?

Andrew Sullivan continues his unhealthy fixation on the "truth" of Trig Palin's birth, now with new photographic evidence showing Sarah Palin three weeks before the alleged delivery. Sullivan marginalizes all the good work logged during the 2008 campaign, ever-vigilant in exposing Sarah's myriad lies and hypocrisies, with this descent into political paranoia. He can't help himself. He's addicted to this Republican heroine.

And it is a sad, sad day when this author begrudgingly makes a strange bedfellow in Michelle Malkin, forming a coalition of the sane against The Daily Dish.

The brazen demands for more proof of Trig's maternity arrive from the same baneful impetus fueling questions about Obama's "vault" birth certificate, notwithstanding that an official birth certificate has been provided.

Gather yourself, Andrew. Take a moment. I was about to purchase The Conservative Soul, but you're pushing me towards In Defense of Internment.

We're all going through the dead air doldrums of the post-election, pre-inauguration season. The blogosphere is decidedly not buzzing. But that's no warrant to light fires just to report on them.

Moose Knuckled Under

ESPN reports that Yankees pitcher Mike Mussina will retire. He gets his 20-win season and calls it quits, no doubt whining about something when making his decision.

Is he a HOFer? No Cy Young Awards. No ERA titles. Never the best pitcher in the league in any given year. Only one 20-win season, despite playing on good teams for most of his career.

Verdict: Stewed.

Hahahaha - sank you, I be here all da veek.

Palin's Legs Pallin' Around With Hotness!

Exhausted after the gauntlet of a nine-minute, four question press conference this week at the RGA conference in Miami, Governor Palin hit the pool for some well-deserved rest and relaxation, taking a break from the 2012 election stump.

The Saracuda was not shy about showing off her stems. Yowsers! And true to her word, her beverage of choice is Diet Dr. Pepper.

When asked for comment about the photo spread, Dennis Miller removed the discipline out of his satchel and began excoriating the flesh of his back like the albino monk in The Da Vinci Code. On a sad note, Rich Lowry was unavailable for comment. His dead body was discovered this evening, sitting in a chair in front of his computer, strangely with no head and, even stranger, wearing no pants.

The police noted "starbursts" were found at the scene. "Massive, sudden head explosion" has been pronounced the official cause of death.

The "Lantern-Jawed Banshee" Stalks Palin!

All praises due Jack Knowledge for encapsulating Greta Van Susteren's visage in three words.

John Stewart notes Greta's disturbing fixation on the Governor of Alaska towards the end of the clip.

Oh, and here's a portion of Greta's interview with Sarah Palin you did not see "On The Record" because, according to Gretawire, "even two hours . . . wasn't enough for our conversation":



You know, maybe if you allowed the Governor/Homemaker/Real American to disregard the baking tray and stop cooking moose frankfurters for apparently the entire Alaskan National Guard, two hours would have been enough.

The interview concluded with Greta humping Todd Palin's leg as Sarah tried to beat her off with a rolled-up newspaper.

Palin in 2012? Really? Really, Republicans? No, by all means . . .

Sarah's Long Kiss Goodbye On Television

Vaya con dios tambien, senorita, tu "betchada".

From a Yglesias reader commenting on Sarah Palin's prospects in 2012:

[L]osing VP’s don’t take blame. But their track record post-defeat is abysmal. It’s a sure way to never get elected President, and almost as sure a way to never get your party’s nomination. Here’s a list, pre-Palin:

John Edwards
Joe Lieberman
Jack Kemp
Dan Quayle
Lloyd Bentsen
Geraldine Ferraro
Walter Mondale (and he had already won once)
Bob Dole (here’s an exception - helped out, perhaps, by the fact that no one seems to remember him being Ford’s running mate)
Sergeant Shriver
Edward Muskie
William Miller
Henry Cabot Lodge
Estes Kefauver
John Sparkman
Earl Warren (yeah, he became Chief Justice, but his political career was finished)
John Bricker
Charles McNary
Frank Knox (FDR kindly put him in his cabinet after trouncing him and Landon in 1936)
Charles Curtis
Joseph Robinson (he did become Senate Majority Leader and a key FDR ally after his defeat)Charles W. Bryan (went on to lose his gubernatorial campaign in Nebraska)FDR (big-time exception)
Charles Fairbanks
(went back to practicing law in Indianapolis)
Nicholas Murray Butler
Hiram Johnson (Taft and TR’s veeps, respectively)
John Worth Kern
Henry Gassaway Davis (fun fact - he was 81 when he was nominated to be Vice President. I guess the Dems realized they had no shot at TR)
Adlai Stevenson
Adlai Stevenson’s grandfatherArthur Sewall, a Swedenborgian shipbuilder

So from 1896-2004, losing Vice Presidential nominees went on to be elected President once, and nominated by their party three times.

A veritable "who's who" list of political also-rans, has-been's and never-was's. Perhaps Palin is gearing up to challenge Rachel Ray in 2012 with her indomitable moose stew.

November 5, 2012

James Pethokoukis predicts a one-term Obama presidency only negative 63 days into an Obama administration. What happened to the media honeymoon for the first negative 100 days?:

That's right, the "O" in "Obama" may stand for "One Term." For starters, there's a strong chance that when voters head to the polls on Nov. 2, 2010, they likely will still think the economy is awful. Not much debate about that. (Good chance the Democrats' two-election winning streak comes to an end.) And while voters may be somewhat patient for two years, patient for four years? Really unlikely. If history is any guide at all, voters may still be terribly cranky about the economy when they cast their ballots on Nov. 6, 2012 and thus likely choose the 45th president of the United States -- be it Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Bobby Jindal or some other Republican without "Bush" for a last name. Once again a "change" election for an impatient America. The same bad economy that doomed John McCain in 2008 will have sunk Obama, as well.

Who can argue with Petho-kook-is? I mean Obama's first week helming the whimsical "Office of the President-Elect" has been an unmitigated disappointment. What pretend legislation has he passed? What dress-rehearsal policy has he put in place? How about appointing some hypothetical judges? I'm not buying this "I'm not the President yet" pretext for inaction. Way to not fix the obvious problem of the potentially improved economy of four years hence.

And another thing: Mitt Romney? Sarah Palin? Bobby Jindal? You mean Tin Man (i.e., stiff joints, no heart, needs oil, "who let the dogs out, woot, woot"), Scarecrow (i.e., babbling mouth, no brain, needs to read all the papers, any of the papers, "in what respect, Charlie"), and the Cowardly Lion (i.e., tremulous intellect, no courage, scared of science, scared of ghosts, likes exorcisms, "I began to think that the demon would only attack me if I tried to pray or fight back")?

Yikes!

In a related story, Barack Obama has been speculatively elected President for a possible second term in the imaginary election that probably didn't occur today. "Don't these haters know that I'm the mutha f**kin' Wizard," a grinning Obama joked at his made up victory rally at a location to be determined.

Still On The Stump, Sarah?

We continue to discuss Vice Presidential loser Sarah Palin because she remains topical, refusing to "give up the ghost," rattling her old campaign chains and haunting the airwaves with her used-up rhetoric. Today on CNN:

BLITZER: Because, you know, during a campaign, every presidential campaign, things are said, it's tough, as you well know, it gets sometimes pretty fierce out there. And during the campaign, you said this, you said: "This is not a man who sees America as you see it and how I see America." And then you went on to say: "Someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect that he is palling around with terrorists who would target their own country."

PALIN: Well, I still am concerned about that association with Bill Ayers. And if anybody still wants to talk about it, I will, because this is an unrepentant domestic terrorist who had campaigned to blow up, to destroy our Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol. That's an association that still bothers me. And I think it's still fair to talk about it. However the campaign is over. That chapter is closed. Now is the time to move on and to, again, make sure that all of us are doing all that we can to progress this nation.

Sigh . . . will someone tell this nitwit she lost the election. Even Quayle got the "hint" in '92 (you know - the hint of election results) and skedaddled. And if you are indeed still campaigning for some conjectural office, then I once again demand your full medical records, presumptive mother of Trig.

As long as you persist, Palin, the Potatoe will continue to hold up the mirror. She who hath not associated . . .

Senator Palin? Yes, you read that right...

Now that the smoke from the burning wreckage of the GOP ticket has started to clear, Sarah Palin, in addition to serving members of the media moose chili and moose hot dogs, is mulling over how best to keep giving me material to write about her.

Senator Ted Stevens appears to be the very best way, it would seem.

The embattled Sen. Ted Stevens is still in a tight race for his seat against Democratic Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich. Stevens was convicted of seven federal corruption charges in October for filing false statements on Senate ethics forms.

Some have speculated that if Stevens wins, he would be expelled from the Senate, meaning there would be a special election in which Palin could run.

Palin told CNN that at this point, she wouldn't declare whether she would or wouldn't consider a run.

So, let me see if I have this right? Stevens wins. Gets chucked from the Senate. A special race is held. Palin runs for the vacant Senate seat and wins. And thus thrusts herself right back into the national spotlight.

Honestly, Sarah should perhaps be careful what she wishes for here. She has just finished blaming her party's leadership for the loss of the McCain ticket last week - throwing under the bus many people who are going back to work on the Senate floor. Her credentials and knowledge on very basic and important issues are sketchy at best . Perhaps the best thing that could happen to her is to slink back to Anchorage, start getting tutored in the finer points by the Karl Rove Extreme Political Makeover team, and be ready to pop up on the national stage again a little while down the road, wounds healed and leaner, meaner and more polished.

If Sarah, fresh off this defeat, reports to the Senate for active duty without having smoothed her rougher political edges, it could end up being a terrible decision for her as someone with an eye towards a big future in the GOP party. She is, by all accounts, not someone who will reach across the aisle, and in a Democrat-dominated Senate, she runs a very big risk of finding herself alone on an island of extremism, watching more moderate colleagues like, for example, her former running-mate John McCain work closely with Senate Dems. Add to the mix that the Senate is the traditional home of the "Washington insiders" that she has spent so many weeks disparaging, and I'm not sure she's going to find a ton of helping hands. The remaining Republicans in government have far too much to lose and to protect at this point. I sincerely doubt they will want to align themselves with such a potentially polarizing and inexperienced figure.

The Senate floor is a place of vigorous debate by intelligent and experienced politicians - masters of saying one thing, doing another and protecting their own backsides expertly. There is an old saying that if you don't know who the sucker at the table is after twenty minutes in a poker game, you're the sucker. I have a sneaking suspicion that when put into the Senate shark tank, "Senator" Palin would find quite quickly that she is the sucker. In short: she simply is not ready.

I, for one, would like to see it happen. My feeling is that the sooner we get used to the idea of Senator Palin, the better the odds we will never have to get used to the idea of President Palin.

New Era of Civility

Always rather (pronounced "raaah-ther" because I'm British nobility, as far as you know) genteel, the United States Congress and its members are taking great pains to restore an era of civility and respect to Washington. In the immediate wake of President-elect Obama's historic election, members of Congress of both parties have been falling all over themselves to speak in gracious and conciliatory terms about working together, rising above petty differences in this hour of national if not global crisis, and working together to get America back on track. Then there's this guy.

Rep. Paul Broun (brace yourself, because this might come as a bit of a shock -- he's a Republican from Georgia) said on Monday that he fears that Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security force to impose a Marxist or fascist dictatorship. Yes. Really. Citing a July speech by Obama, in which the then-Democratic presidential candidate called for a civilian force to take some of the national security burden off the military, Broun sagely noted:

"That's exactly what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it's exactly what the Soviet Union did," Broun said. "When he's proposing to have a national security force that's answering to him, that is as strong as the U.S. military, he's showing me signs of being Marxist."

Just to make sure no one missed it that the sitting Congressman actually compared the President-elect of the United States to Adolph Hitler, he added for good measure:

"We can't be lulled into complacency... You have to remember that Adolf Hitler was elected in a democratic Germany. I'm not comparing him to Adolf Hitler. What I'm saying is there is the potential."

Oh, so you're not saying saying he is Hitler, only that he might become Hitler. Well, yeah, that's muuuuuch better. Thanks for clarifying. Wurzelbacher/Broun '12 can't be far off. Sarah Palin for Secretary of State?

Palin on Election Loss: It's those damned Mexicans

Governor Palin spoke to Fox News, and Fox News studiously avoided trying to make her look stupid. Unfortunately, You Betcha! can't see an open microphone without deep-throating it with her gag-reflex-free ignorance. She said she was not surprised at the GOP loss, considering that it represented the same failed policies of the previous eight years - most of which were the fault of the Republicans. Nice work Sarah. Listen, we all KNOW that's why you lost, but usually right after you lose you don't throw your entire party under the bus in order to exonerate yourself. And on Fox News. I hear that's a popular station for "your folks."

But Naylin Paylin went on to explain a few of her other MENSA level theories for the GOP loss, including their crushing inability to "get the Hispanic vote."

Oh, is that what did you in, Sarah? What braintrust came to that conclusion? Was it that massive Hispanic vote that typically goes Republican in those swing states like, for example, all of them? You guys lost by two hundred electoral votes - you think your inability to get a minority group to vote Republican that doesn't actually typically vote Republican and that lives mostly in states you either DID win or were NEVER going to win was what did it? Funny, if I had to peg any minority group that did you in, I probably would have said it was the African-American vote, and your inability to not have that group vote against you 99% to 1% (figures unofficial). Or the Jewish vote in a swing state like Florida. Jews voted for Obama by a margin approaching 80% to 20% as reported by CNN - an almost unbelievable figure. Sigh. What color is the sky in your world, Sarah?

But you're totally spot-on, as usual, Governor. It's those damned Hispanics. Good thing you don't have none of them up in lilly-white Alaska. They wreck everything.

Rewriting history

The Anchorage Daily News interviewed Gov. Sarah Palin yesterday, and it is clear that she is going to continue her pattern of evasive, non-sensical and misleading responses to simple questions. Her answers ranged from silly to delusional to lying, but don't be fooled; this is a smart woman intent on rewriting history.

Reflecting on what went wrong in the campaign, Gov. Palin expressed her frustration at the [presumably liberal elite/mainstream] news media, over what she perceived as spreading misperceptions about her:

"Some of the goofy things, like who was Trig's mom, you know. And well [raises hand], I'm Trig's mom. And do you wanna see my medical records to prove that? And days would go by before mainstream media would even try to correct that, that yeah, OK, it's proven that she actually is Trig's mom."

Actually, Sarah, about that? Yeah, well, turns out you never actually released your medical records, did you? No, in case you're confused, you didn't. You said you would, sure, but you didn't. You did release a 2-page letter from your doctor saying you were in excellent health (which, admittedly, is better than the 1-page letter Obama's doctor wrote to the same effect), but you didn't even do that until 12 hours before the election. So let's be perfectly clear here: you did NOT release your medical records. Pretending you did, implying you did, insinuating you did, wishing you did, all well and good. But it doesn't actually change the fact that, you know, you didn't.

The following exchange has no real relevance to my point, but her total inability to string together a noun adjective and verb into a coherent sentence continues to amuse and appall me.

Q. Do you think it's going to be difficult for the state to make a case for earmarks, given that you and John McCain were so outspoken against them?

A. Not so much the case being made more difficult for Alaska in requesting but we'd better make sure that every earmark we request is in the nation's best interest and is something that has been vetted and seen the light of day via public participation.

Abject Ann Rues The Day

Ann Coulter's take on the election. A conciliatory tone, perhaps?:

Last night was truly a historic occasion: For only the second time in her adult life, Michelle Obama was proud of her country! . . .

Thought so. Some more low-lights:

And why should Republican activists slave away working for McCain when he has personally, viciously attacked: John O'Neill and the Swift Boat Veterans, National Right to Life director Doug Johnson, evangelical pastors Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and John Hagee, various conservative talk radio hosts, the Tennessee Republican Party and on and on and on?

Jesus Christ! No seriously: Jesus, are you listening? These are the characters you'll pluck up during the rapture? I'll take my chances with the anti-Christ.

On Palin:

Indeed, the only good thing about McCain is that he gave us a genuine conservative, Sarah Palin. He's like one of those insects that lives just long enough to reproduce so that the species can survive. That's why a lot of us are referring to Sarah as "The One" these days.

Like Sarah Connor in "The Terminator," Sarah Palin is destined to give birth to a new movement. That's why the Democrats are trying to kill her. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is involved somehow, too. Good Lord, I'm tired.

Pinch me. Am I dreaming? Because all this is too good to be true. Thanks Barack.

The Cracks Begin to Leak

For weeks now we've heard about Sarah Palin "going rogue" and how certain staffers have disparaged her whilst others have come to her defense, saying the McCain campaign rolled her out (making her sound like Lecter) improperly. Now some meat appears on those bones of a story:

Randy Scheunemann, a senior foreign policy adviser to John McCain, was fired from the Arizona senator's campaign last week for what one aide called "trashing" the campaign staff, three senior McCain advisers tell CNN. One of the aides tells CNN that campaign manager Rick Davis fired Scheunemann after determining that he had been in direct contact with journalists spreading "disinformation" about campaign aides, including Nicolle Wallace and other officials.

Well, that could mean anything, right? "Disinformation" - very ambiguous term there.

"He was positioning himself with Palin at the expense of John McCain's campaign message," said one of the aides. Senior campaign officials blame Schuenemann specifically for stories about the way Wallace and chief campaign strategist Steve Schmidt mishandled Palin's rollout — stories that the campaign says threw them off message in the critical final weeks of the campaign.

Oops. Sounds like someone was wearing their "Palin 2012" t-shirt around McCain's Tuscon headquarters a bit prematurely. However, I'm sure John will be in a forgive-and-forget way after getting rolled last night.

Another aide said McCain personally was "very disappointed by Randy," who worked for McCain for many years in the Senate.

Oh well. Perhaps not. Guess Randy shouldn't be expecting that Holiday Card from Cindy and John this year. But when exactly did this seismic shift in one of McCain's closest allies take place?

Scheunemann became close with Palin during her debate prep process.

Ah. Now I see. During debate prep. Those long hours spent honing her oral skills. Those late nights straighting out policies.

And after that, he probably was hitting it. But that's just rote speculation, of course.

Apparently, Scheunemann and Palin were "unusually giggly and touchy-feely" during the foreign policy briefings. "I think there was more de-briefing there than briefing, frankly," grumbled one McCain aide.

WHAT? No - just kidding. Just seeing if you rubes were still reading. But the top part was true, courtesy of CNN.com.

Warm Apple Pie Endorses Barack Obama For President

(Length warning. Someone's getting maudlin and windy!)

Formerly, I was an insalubrious fatty. I puffed a pack of Parliaments each day, considered exercise my morning constitutional to the toilet for bladder relief and stuffed my pudgy face full of McGriddles (ah, McGriddles - you still haunt my dreams!). There is a telling photograph of my bespectacled visage from Thanksgiving 2005 with a thick film of gravy - yes, gravy - on the right lens of my glasses. I really got into my food. I used my whole grill.

I was pretty sorry. My longtime girlfriend and I had parted ways six months prior to the humiliating candid shot - "ode to gluttony." My skin was a bit ruddy. I couldn't get my motor going in the morning. I sleepwalked through a dead end job. My apartment was a mess, strewn with cigarette ash and empty pizza boxes. Generally, the zest for life so self-evident during my early and mid-twenties had eroded into the enervation of my thirtieth year. A sad state of affairs.

Simply put? I needed hope. I needed change - change I could believe in.

I wiped the gravy off my glasses and addressed the mirror, confronting an old reflection before its time. Then, I took the first step.

I put down the smokes and tried to extricate the psychosomatic yearning in the pit of my chest. It wasn't easy. I teetered back and forth, sneaking drags from enabling friends, sometimes a whole butt. Like Ben Stiller playing "Simple Jack," the cold turkey removal of nicotine-produced endorphins made me feel "actually retarded." It was a dreadful epoch - those first few months. The withdrawal from addiction was frightening. Could I stop smoking forever?

Change was scary.

I got off the couch and trudged towards the gym, lugging my hefty 215 pound blob of a body to the treadmill, to the weights. My stringy muscles could hardly muster the will to do any meaningful strength training. My initial visits were painful. It was excruciating early on and progress was small, measured in baby steps. I wanted to quit. But I didn't. I kept at it. I got stronger, slowly, then steadily. The results manifested themselves. My vigor returned.

Change was tough.

I said goodbye to my beloved food, my blocks of Cracker Barrel, Extra Sharp, my Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, my chicken and cheese quesadillas (what can I say - I like cheese). Instead, I filled my robust belly with boatloads of protein. Chicken. Fish. I broke company with Mayo. I made my peace with Ben & Jerry's "Chunky Monkey" and sent it on its way. But a funny thing happen while my taste buds held vigil: I felt better. I felt spry. I reclaimed my youth.

Change was necessary.

Today, I'm 180 pounds, haven't smoke a cigarette in over a year (not a drag), fallen madly in love and generally keep my wits about me in the restaurant. No f**king mayo. No thank you, sir. I've improved, but it took change - scary, tough, necessary change.

My point (look, it's pretty late and I'm spent. I'm also half-drunk. Blogging is hard!): I endorse Barack Obama for President of the United States, our shining paragon of freedom, but do so with reservations about the future of an Obama administration, with the understanding that the road to American wellness will be long and painstaking, but with the unflappable realization that Barack Obama is a necessary panacea for the viral policies of George W. Bush's disastrous two terms.

This country is an insalubrious fatty right now. Barack Obama can bring it back to fitness. John McCain cannot.

I'm out of gas and really don't feel like ragging on John McCain again. His campaign speaks volumes. His inability to stay on message or offer a cohesive vision of our economic destiny is just too telling. John McCain is too risky to lead. That's a funny realization.

Yes, like the rest of the blogging world except for the incorrigibly cynical and intellectually bankrupt, Sarah Palin didn't shift the political winds for me. But for a different reason than most. It wasn't her feckless efforts during her first interviews or her desultory presentation in front of the electorate. It wasn't even McCain's judgment in making the selection. For me, it's why he picked her - a straight, unabashed pander to the GOP base. That scares me more than the flimsy radical associations portrayed by the Republicans as surrounding Obama. For the first time in his political career, McCain played the partisan sycophant and tossed in with the far right. In appeasing the divisive component of the party, he forever coated his favorite word "Maverick" with thick irony. I would never take his campaign seriously again.

As for Obama, I go in believing, but with my eyes open. I like his energy policy. I like setting a hard deadline for energy independence in 10 years - a bold initiative rivaling Kennedy's race to the moon. I also like his health care plan. It's a hybrid between private insurance and the European model (yes . . . socialism! Woooooo.). We fatuously call this land the "shining city on the hill" until the remaining 42,000,000 of our fellow citizens can afford basic health care and, in turn, basic human dignity. And we'll quibble with taxes later on and reach a compromise.

Finally, I like what Obama represents to the global community, a signal that America will no longer play racial identity politics. He may become a galvanizing figure in this world always on the brink, embolden our allies to stand with us and fight evil, and cause our enemies to lose their stomach for battle. A beatific vision of course, but shouldn't we shoot for the stars and come up short, rather than admiring the distant twinkles of possibility from the wallow of our realities.

Hope - the fuzzy depiction the Republicans lambasted and disrobed throughout the campaign as shell promises. Tawdry goods. Valueless preacher hype. They never understood that hope fuels progress, creates ideas, sparks innovation. Hope is the thing of gut checks, when you're at rock bottom, no health care, no job, no prospects, a mountain of bills, not a pot to piss in, no way out. Fettered by hopelessness, that's your only spiritual leverage - the faint glimmer of hope. It's why you buy a lottery ticket. It's why you dream. McCain, Palin and the surrogates discredited it with every talking point. I firmly believe they will pay the price for their political atheism in less than 24 hours.

I hope Barack Obama wins. And that's enough to keep me going if he loses. Hope is real.

So that's it. You have my prediction for a metered Obama victory. Sorry about this stream of consciousness. On the old devil box, I'm watching Sarah Palin speak live from Elko, Nevada as she completes her campaign '08 gauntlet. Gosh, her crackling voice crawls into my debilitated brain like those slimy creatures Khan inserts into Chekhov's ear in Star Trek II. "I must obey . . . her incoherency . . . must write not good and dumb also."

One hell of an election though. The Potatoe will have reports from the field throughout the day, including live reports from polling districts in battleground states. We will be with you through the results of the election. Our country names a President in 24 hours (as long as Florida doesn't get unruly again). That's a hell of a thing.

Polls open in less than five hours on the East Coast. Good luck America. Let's keep it fair and civil. In the words of Jack Burton, "may the wings of liberty never shed a feather."

I leave you with Senator Obama's words from his October 22 rally in Richmond, Virginia. Click the link.

Screw it. I also leave you with this, Obama supporters:


One vote at a time. That's an election, guys. That's all it is.

Now . . . what are you going to do?

ONE QUESTION

Where are your medical records, Governor Palin?

48 hours to go! We won't want them on Wednesday. You promised. You should keep your promises. That's part of "puttin' government back on the side of the folks also."

Oh, you meant you would release them prior to the end of the 2012 election. My apologies for the "gotcha" journalism then. You keep going rogue, sister!

***UPDATE***: Have you ever noticed that the audio on Sarah Palin's plane was either muted or "wasn't working" whenever the Governor is questioned about Tina Fey's turns on SNL:

It turns out Ms. Palin missed the full experience of watching Mr. McCain on “Saturday Night Live.” She boarded her charter plane at 11:30 p.m. on Saturday, just on time to watch the show, an aide said, but the audio on her television wasn’t working.

Could it be to avoid the awkwardness of questions like does she have any designs on the White House in 2012 before the 2008 election is over?

Is this really an update to this post? No - but it gave me the excuse to yell again, "WHERE ARE THE MEDICAL RECORDS, GOVERNOR PALIN???"

***UPDATE***: Sullivan is exasperated. So am I. Give up the records.

***UPDATE***: Draw your own conclusions about the supposed liberal bias of the mainstream media, but Jake Tapper of ABC News has requested Palin's medical records each day since she promised to disclose them during an interview with Brian Williams on October 22. To date, no production of records. Not even a skeletal one-page summary. Not even a three-hour in camera review. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Draw your own conclusions about Governor Palin . . . you know what . . . no . . . let me draw them for you: Sarah Palin lies. She is the ostensible successor to the "bob and weave" evasiveness and concoction practiced by George W. Bush over the past 8 years.

***UPDATE***: ABC News reports Governor Palin's campaign has released a two-page letter from the Governor's person physician summarizing her past health:

ABC News' Imtiyaz Delawala and Kate Snow report: Gov. Sarah Palin’s personal family physician says she is in excellent health and “has no known health problems that would interfere with her ability to carry out the duties and obligations of Vice President of the United States of America.”

Late on the eve of the election, the Palin campaign released a brief two-page letter from Dr. Cathy Gladwin Johnson, a family physician affiliated with the Mat-Su Regional Medical Center near the Governor’s home in Wasilla, Alaska.

Honestly, I've got bigger fish to fry right now, but thanks for the perfunctory effort, Sarah. Nice meeting you. Good luck with all your future endeavors in Alaska.

Sarah and Todd Palin "Live" With Racism In Alaska

African-Americans thank the good Governor for her sincere empathy. Is there a greater champion of minority civil rights in this country than Sarah Palin? I remember when Sarah took on the establishment by marrying Todd, a "native Alaskan." Sheer guts.

Bateman to LA Times: Release the Hounds, er, Tape

So Sam Donaldson wrote an editorial on ABCNews.com today about "Video Tape That Won't Be Released"-gate. This is what our friend over at The Kansas Citian referenced in some of his comments on our site yesterday.

Apparently, this is the situation:

The McCain campaign is demanding that the Los Angeles Times release a videotape it possesses of Sen. Barack Obama attending (and speaking) at a dinner for Rashid Khalidi, a Palestinian-American activist, many years ago when Obama was in the Illinois State Senate. Also at the dinner was the Weatherman co-founder William Ayers.

Apparently at this dinner, Khalidi said many things that Americans, particularly Jewish-Americans, would not find very appropriate or amusing. Sam Eyebrows continues:

So, why won't the Los Angeles Times release the tape? Because it says it obtained it on condition that it wouldn't. The Times points out that it was the news organization that brought the matter to public attention in the first place by doing a full story. And as far as its agreement not to release the tape, the paper says, "the Times keeps its promises to sources."

Now, it IS interesting that this story didn't gain much traction until the last few days. Hell, I'd never even heard of this alleged tape until very recently even though the Times apparently did a story about it last April - although it should be pointed out that I often don't hear about news until it bops me on the head.

So Donaldson goes on to say that the GOP has a point - the tape should be aired so everyone can see what exactly is on it - but that the Times' promise to its source is more important, because nothing should trump journalistic integrity and the Times promised to keep the tape confidential. Thus, concludes Sam I Am, they are doing the right thing, end of discussion.

Respectfully, Sammy, I disagree. I'm a raging liberal - have been since my days in that barbershop quartet back in Skokie - but there are limits. This is not painted as the usual case of protecting a source. When a source's name or identity is protected by the media, due to danger of reprisals or the like, that is one thing. That sort of thing must be protected in order to allow people to come forward. This situation, however, is not the same.

Unless disclosure of this tape would without question implicate the person who provided it as the source (which seems odd - was he the lone person with a camera in the room?), keeping a promise to keep the tape confidential is protecting nobody but Barack Obama (potentially).

This is not keeping the name of a whistleblower secret. This is keeping the contents of a tape secret from the American public at a time when they are going to be electing their next leader. One of the allegations tossed around is that Obama pals around with terrorists and harbors sympathies for Muslim extremists. This tape seems to me to be the most direct evidence to date that some of that might have some traction (discussed further below). But yet we are not going to have an opportunity to see it and decide for ourselves.

I'm usually a hard-line liberal, but sometimes you must step back and use common sense. Unless disclosure of this tape could potentially harm the source of the tape in some obvious way (in which case, I retract my comments), the LA Times should not be able to hide behind the "confidential source" chestnut tree in this game of "hide and go seek Obama's terrorist pals." Honoring a source's request that you keep something from the public eyes seemingly "just because" is not good enough.

I am going to the polls on Tuesday. My vote is for Barack Obama. But if the Senator has been at dinners and, to paraphrase Governor Palin, "palling around" with divisive elements such as Mr. Khalidi, I have a right to know about it. And that right - along with the right of the other 250 million folks like me - trumps the "confidential source" protection in this situation.

Now, let's be fair here: Khalidi denies being a PLO spokesman, as many have accused him. He is a respected scholar even if his views on Israel and the Middle East are not the same as most Americans. Is he a terrorist? No, I don't believe that he is. But he most certainly is a divisive and somewhat inflammatory figure in the ongoing discussion of the Arab-Israeli question, and we have the right to know what Barack Obama's relationship was and is with him and to what extent.

However, let's also be fair about this on the other side. John McCain has a prior relationship with Khalidi as well. As HuffPo reports:

During the 1990s, while he served as chairman of the International Republican Institute (IRI), McCain distributed several grants to the Palestinian research center co-founded by Khalidi, including one worth half a million dollars. A 1998 tax filing for the McCain-led group shows a $448,873 grant to Khalidi's Center for Palestine Research and Studies for work in the West Bank. The relationship extends back as far as 1993, when John McCain joined IRI as chairman in January. Foreign Affairs noted in September of that year that IRI had helped fund several extensive studies in Palestine run by Khalidi's group, including over 30 public opinion polls and a study of "sociopolitical attitudes."

So let's be fair. The LA Times tape is not a smoking gun story. This is not video of Obama strapping up suicide bombers in Ramallah. McCain's had affiliation with the guy too. But it is something that should be added to the overall mix of information out there. There are times for discretion. There are times for full disclosure. It is important that our media outlets have the good sense to discern one from another, especially with everything at stake on Tuesday.