"She was a woman who was healthy."
"I am in fine fettle," Terry Schiavo said in response to Bachmann's assessment of her health. "I thank the honorable Congresswoman from Minnesota for dispelling any rumors that my condition had taken a turn for the worst. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my workout: I have to go follow a balloon with my head."
Lampooning the Republican "base" is no fun anymore because its constituents are so easily defined (much to the chagrin of free-thinking, intelligent conservatives like Andrew Sullivan. I couldn't stomach the sloppy conflation of zealot base and rational theorists. It would almost prompt me to escape to the Democrats and try to moderate that bunch from within).
They hate homosexuals.
They hate science.
They love life for the nine months of gestation through the moment of birth.
They hate life after birth unless you're a poor soul who would prefer death to the torment of life.
They love America. They are psychotic stalkers of America. They'll love America even as it crumbles. They'll chant "USA" as we lose our power in the world because America wasn't imperfect enough to point out its flaws.
Sadder still is that the 6th Congressional District of Minnesota elected this glassy-eyed void. Shame on you.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
GOP Courtesan Bachmann Celebrates Terry Schiavo's Vigor
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2 comments:
Slow down Sidecar. You're a little bit angry today, even for your usual Napoleonic level of verve. Take an Intelligent Design chill pill. It's absolutely possible humans kept velociraptors as pets. Can YOU disprove it? No. And if something is not absolute, then every competing theory is just as plausible.
For example, I had sex last night with Thandie Newton. I called her and said "the picture of you that I posted on my blog has made me hotter than stucco in Texas in July." She swooned, took a taxi to my humble abode, and rode me like Seabiscuit until the sun rose.
You cannot prove one way or another with 100% certainty that this is true or not true. Thus, my story that it is true is just as plausible as your 99.99% accurate version that it is not true.
God I wish that were true. Thandie, if you're out there - and I know you'e out there - for the love of Allah, please come over. I'm dying here.
What was I saying?
I will not calm down. Smoke plumes rise out of Sidecar's ears.
Bachmann is like the party rookie who sits down at a table with affable folks snorting an eight ball, asks for rolled-up bill, then proceeds to snort outward, blowing the Columbian bam-bam all over the floor. She sucks.
I have strong personal views rooted in conservatism. But Bachmann and her cohorts make it impossible to go to bed with the Republicans.
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