Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Gotham...Will Be...Destroyed.

News flash: a major attack using a chemical, biological or nuclear weapon could occur in the next few years somewhere at some time. These are the chillingly general and frighteningly unhelpful conclusions of a new study conducted by study by the Commission on the Prevention of WMD Proliferation and Terrorism (yes, that's the name. No, there's no acronym or anything. Try saying that ten times fast.) and leaked to ABC News in advance of the report's release today. Just take a look at the horrible predictions:

"The commission believes that unless the world community acts decisively and with great urgency, it is more likely than not that a weapon of mass destruction will be used in a terrorist attack somewhere in the world by the end of 2013."

Oh really? Gee, thanks guys. Somewhere in the world at some point in time in the next four years, eh? This is like calling the Psychic Friends network. I fully expect Dionne Warwick to be prominently involved.

Oh, sure, the report goes on, as summarized here, to be a tad more specific, but really it's just riddled with generalities. Yeah, terrorists are going to try to get chemical, biological or nuclear weapons and use them. We know this - we did not need to commission a study to find this out. But one passage of this was particularly terrifying - if you live in Gotham City:

"The acquisition of deadly pathogens, and their weaponization and dissemination in aerosol form, would entail fewer technical hurdles than the theft or production of weapons-grade uranium or plutonium and its assembly into an improvised nuclear device," the report argues.

Wait a tick - weaponizing aerosol pathogens and such... that sounds a lot like what the League of Shadows was trying to do in the Narrows!! Now I understand. Now it all makes sense... this report was released by Batman under his nom de plume, Commission on the Prevention of WMD Proliferation and Terrorism. Ah, I see, Mr. Wayne - I read you loud and clear. Though, may I say, your pen-name could use a little work. So the basic message is this: Stay out of Gotham until 2014 - or until Monday, when The Dark Knight DVD goes on sale.

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