100 Years War

So let me get this straight - the same guy who declared Obama a failure after, what, 2 months in office, wants me to give him A HUNDRED YEARS to fix America? Quit your slacking, Beck. You get 75 years, tops.

So what's the plan, or as Beck refers to it - "The Plan"? Hold on, bucko. As Joe the Plumber demonstrated, freedom ain't free, and neither is Beck's master plan. You have to buy his book. And it ain't written yet.

But fear not. Mayor Tinfoil Hat of Loonytown reveals in his announcement a few of his ideas on how to save America from the liberals, Kenyans, Socialists, and Mexicans:

Today, I have stopped looking for a leader to show us the way out because I have come to realize that the only one who can truly save our country...is us.

By "us," he means Glenn Beck and the 5 voices in his head.

When we refuse to allow our children to receive a trophy for participation, we are on the road to restoring the meaning of merit in our Republic.

Finally! The core of what is really wrong with America - participation trophies. No more trophies! Does that include trophy wives? Better not tell Fred Thompson, Rudy Giuliani, and Jim McShame.

There is much to do, much to learn and time is of the essence.

That's why I need 100 years! Starting March 2010! If time weren't of the essence, it would be a 200 year plan.

we will be conducting a series of conventions. These will be full-day experiences where you will be immersed in learning about topics ranging from self-reliance, community organizing, the economy and how to be a political force in your own neighborhood and country.

Not community organizing! That's Communist stuff you learn at a Madrassa in Kenya! But not so long ago Beck was of the opinion that "The community organizer mentality — the ACORN mentality — is to distract you from their main goal, so even though some people are looking at their voter registration fraud, we should follow the money, too." What's your angle, Beck? What goal are you trying to distract us from? Is it the goal of selling books? Nah. Couldn't be.

It will require unconventional thinking and a radical plan to restore our nation to the maximum freedoms we were supposed to have been protecting, using only the battlefield of ideas.

Oh, the "battlefield of ideas." Where is this battlefield? I bet it's on the Island of Idiocy. Right next to Loonytown, Mr. Mayor. Will everyone be unarmed, or just you?