Sunday, November 23, 2008

Those Evangelicals: Always Banging. Wait - what?

Honestly, I can't do the article justice, so please just read it for yourselves here. Long story short: Texas evangelical pastor challenges congregation (the marrieds, of course, no single tag-along fornicators) to have sex every day for a week.

It's really worth a read. It's an interesting idea. Frankly, I'd like to hear more talk like this from the Religious Right. At least then there's something we can agree on: more sex.

But - and I can't believe I'm doing this - I understand what they're getting at here, but sex is truly a complicated subject and perhaps this is just too flippant. Wow - really? I'm calling evangelical preachers too flippant about sex? Wow, I really am my mother. Where was I? Oh, right. Anyhow, my point is that this was meant as a closeness/bonding exercise, but simply having sex every day for a week does not fix deep issues and divides between two people - in fact, the pressure of it might even exacerbate them. And, frankly, some people don't have the time, energy, good-health or even interest in having sex every day - even for a week. Sex is as individual as every person is, and a call-to-groins such as this can be a boon to some but serve to further alienate those for whom the bedroom is a house of marital horrors. Listen, sex by itself does not fix all things. It is not a balm that heals all wounds. Believe me, I've been rubbing myself with it for years and I'm still as sick as before. Theoretically. Metaphorically. Double entendre. Whatever - hand me a tissue.

However, on the other hand (get it? get it? dude, I'm trying here...), what the flock do I know - I've been married four times, not counting the time I briefly married Brit-Brit in Vegas. All I'm saying is that I think their, um, heart (or whatever organ) was in the right place, but perhaps this skews too far in the other direction from the normal "keep your ankles covered, you harlot" attitude of many conservatives. How about some nice middle-ground sexual politics from evangelicals? Indeed, how about some nice middle ground sexual politics for us all.

No? How about just some nice sex for all of us? Eh? Eh, comrades? Sigh. Hand me that Lubriderm, will ya'?

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