Gretawatch: The Lantern-Jawed Banshee Continues To Stalk Palin

Greta continues to shill for Governor Palin, declaring her "the front runner" for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2012. Interviewing a local Miami journalist about the Republican Governors Association conference this week (or, as Greta puts it, Sarah Palin's vetting process meet-n-greet for vice presidential hopefuls), Van Susteren and her lantern jaw gushed over Palin's big reception by the media covering her very first presser . . . um . . . eight days after the election. She fielded four questions, responding at times, unexpectedly, with a smattering of words. Still, sentences were conspicuously absent.

Staying fair and balanced, I cannot report that Greta verbally acknowledged her sapphic tendencies when she interacts with the Saracuda, but draw your own conclusions from wearing Palin's panties on her face during the entire broadcast of Friday's On The Record. I found it telling.

By the way, if Greta calls Todd Palin "the first dude" one more time I'm going to rip my clothes off and hug the sun:



***UPDATE***: Greta is a Scientologist. I'm just saying. Keep her away from couches, Oprah and questions about her feelings for Palin.

The "Lantern-Jawed Banshee" Stalks Palin!

All praises due Jack Knowledge for encapsulating Greta Van Susteren's visage in three words.

John Stewart notes Greta's disturbing fixation on the Governor of Alaska towards the end of the clip.

Oh, and here's a portion of Greta's interview with Sarah Palin you did not see "On The Record" because, according to Gretawire, "even two hours . . . wasn't enough for our conversation":



You know, maybe if you allowed the Governor/Homemaker/Real American to disregard the baking tray and stop cooking moose frankfurters for apparently the entire Alaskan National Guard, two hours would have been enough.

The interview concluded with Greta humping Todd Palin's leg as Sarah tried to beat her off with a rolled-up newspaper.

Palin in 2012? Really? Really, Republicans? No, by all means . . .

Disney Characters Endorse Obama

St. Petersburg Times reports that none other than Mickey Mouse tried to register to vote for the 2008 presidential election. Mickey's application was stamped with the logo of embattled nonprofit group ACORN, the "Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now," a grass roots action group pressing various social and economic issues for low income citizens.

ACORN has come under fire for what Republican watchdogs allege are unscrupulous voter registration drives in key battleground states. The building confrontation has become white hot in Ohio, where yesterday election officials in Cuyahoga County, Ohio's most populous voting district, launched an investigation into certain dubious dealings by ACORN canvassers, including an allegation by a 19-year-old registrant that he fraudulently signed 73 voter registration forms in the span of five months in exchange for $20 worth of cigarettes and cash.

Is the registration of Mickey Mouse really a story? I mean I know you need filler for the 24 hour news cycle. He's a six foot tall talking mouse: Shouldn't he be easy to spot and pull out of line at the polling place on November 4th in the unlikely event he attempts to vote?

This is a non-story. Give me something with legs - like Goofy soliciting a transvestite hooker outside the Carousel of Progress in Tomorrowland. That's a scoop. Or Cinderella getting violently gang-raped by Donald Duck and an animatronic William Howard Taft in the basement of the Hall of Presidents - a shocking crime that will forever rob the Liberty Square community of its innocence.

In a related story, Greta Van Susteren has pledged to burn herself at the stake if Barack Obama wins Ohio from an ACORN boon. Greta has done for her cause celebre, ACORN, what Nancy Grace has done for poor Caylee Anthony: Absolutely nothing! - except scowls, sneering eye rolls and pushing an investigatory progress comparable to Ray Charles looking for a five dollar bill in a wad of cash.

"Where's Caylee, dammit????? Where's Caylee?????? Now, look at my precious twins and worship them! Bless you, friends!"