Down Goes Stevens! Down Goes Stevens!

Look, Ted, piece of advice. On your first day in the joint, find the biggest guy in the lunch hall and blast his teeth in. But after that, pick him up off the ground and share your cornbread with him. See, the inmates will fear you, but respect you. They'll know you're a man not to be trifled with, but you live by a code. Other than that, don't drop the soap:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – Sen. Ted Stevens, the longest serving Republican in Senate history, narrowly lost his re-election bid Tuesday, marking the downfall of a Washington political power and Alaska icon who couldn't survive a conviction on federal corruption charges. His defeat by Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich moves Senate Democrats within two seats of a filibuster-proof 60-vote majority . . .

Tuesday's tally of just over 24,000 absentee and other ballots gave Begich 150,728, or 47.76 percent, to 147,004, or 46.58 percent, for Stevens. There are about 2,500 overseas ballots yet to be counted.

In a related story, Sarah Palin announced she will fill the senatorial vacancy created by former senator Ted Stevens's departure to prison. When told that Mark Begich won and there was no void to fill, Palin responded, "But it has to be about job creation also, daggonit."

***UPDATE***: Convicted felon Ted Stevens concedes the election in a prepared statement. In another prepared statement, Big Bubba Muldoon, Stevens's future cellmate, welcomed the Former Senator to the care and custody of the Alaska Department of Corrections: "I'm gonna turn out that punk b*tch. Betta watch your old ass, fresh fish!"

Senator Palin? Yes, you read that right...

Now that the smoke from the burning wreckage of the GOP ticket has started to clear, Sarah Palin, in addition to serving members of the media moose chili and moose hot dogs, is mulling over how best to keep giving me material to write about her.

Senator Ted Stevens appears to be the very best way, it would seem.

The embattled Sen. Ted Stevens is still in a tight race for his seat against Democratic Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich. Stevens was convicted of seven federal corruption charges in October for filing false statements on Senate ethics forms.

Some have speculated that if Stevens wins, he would be expelled from the Senate, meaning there would be a special election in which Palin could run.

Palin told CNN that at this point, she wouldn't declare whether she would or wouldn't consider a run.

So, let me see if I have this right? Stevens wins. Gets chucked from the Senate. A special race is held. Palin runs for the vacant Senate seat and wins. And thus thrusts herself right back into the national spotlight.

Honestly, Sarah should perhaps be careful what she wishes for here. She has just finished blaming her party's leadership for the loss of the McCain ticket last week - throwing under the bus many people who are going back to work on the Senate floor. Her credentials and knowledge on very basic and important issues are sketchy at best . Perhaps the best thing that could happen to her is to slink back to Anchorage, start getting tutored in the finer points by the Karl Rove Extreme Political Makeover team, and be ready to pop up on the national stage again a little while down the road, wounds healed and leaner, meaner and more polished.

If Sarah, fresh off this defeat, reports to the Senate for active duty without having smoothed her rougher political edges, it could end up being a terrible decision for her as someone with an eye towards a big future in the GOP party. She is, by all accounts, not someone who will reach across the aisle, and in a Democrat-dominated Senate, she runs a very big risk of finding herself alone on an island of extremism, watching more moderate colleagues like, for example, her former running-mate John McCain work closely with Senate Dems. Add to the mix that the Senate is the traditional home of the "Washington insiders" that she has spent so many weeks disparaging, and I'm not sure she's going to find a ton of helping hands. The remaining Republicans in government have far too much to lose and to protect at this point. I sincerely doubt they will want to align themselves with such a potentially polarizing and inexperienced figure.

The Senate floor is a place of vigorous debate by intelligent and experienced politicians - masters of saying one thing, doing another and protecting their own backsides expertly. There is an old saying that if you don't know who the sucker at the table is after twenty minutes in a poker game, you're the sucker. I have a sneaking suspicion that when put into the Senate shark tank, "Senator" Palin would find quite quickly that she is the sucker. In short: she simply is not ready.

I, for one, would like to see it happen. My feeling is that the sooner we get used to the idea of Senator Palin, the better the odds we will never have to get used to the idea of President Palin.

Governor Palin Says Everything But The Right Thing In Response To Senator Stevens's Conviction

Bill Dyer, guest posting on Hugh Hewitt's blog, offers dizzying circumlocution in justifying Governor Palin's hesitancy to demand Alaska Senator Ted Stevens immediate withdrawal of his reelection bid after conviction on seven counts of making false statements on ethical disclosure forms.

I mean Dyer's post is unabashed partisan junk: he even provides a transcript of Govern Palin's imaginary comments to Stevens in private:

Here's my guess as to what Gov. Palin saying privately, because it's what I would say to him if I were in her position:

"Ted, for now, I'm going to continue to be restrained and appropriate in what I say in public. But you owe it to your party, and to the people who've voted for you in years past, not to take everything down with you in flames.

"Accordingly, now — before Election Day — you need to hand to me, as the Governor of Alaska, a formal, irrevocable letter of resignation which is automatically effective as of the instant that your post-verdict (pre-appellate) motion for new trial in the federal district court is denied (even though you may still have appellate avenues open at that point to challenge that judgment).

"Having made that commitment and signed that binding letter, Ted, then you can again ask the voters of Alaska to give you their votes — and they, in turn, can vote for you secure in the knowledge that one of either two things will happen: (a) The jury's verdict will be overturned, your presumption of innocence will be restored, and you'll have another day in court. Or else: (b) As Governor of Alaska, either I or perhaps Sean Parnell (as my successor) will appoint a qualified, honest Republican who will carry forward the Republican Party's best policies and ideals in the U.S. Senate seat you have occupied for so long."

No, I figure Palin said something more like: "also it's gotta be about recusing yourself, Ted. You betcha I'm going to make the case, whaddaya expect - a couple of mavericks, ruffling feathers, shaking things up, say it ain't so, Joe. Thanks, but no thanks on that conviction to nowhere."

It's going to be a sour last week.

TED STEVENS CONVICTED

As the New York Times is reporting, U.S. Senator Ted "the internet is a series of tubes" Stevens (R-AK) was convicted today on all seven charges he faced of lying about receiving free home renovations and other lavish gifts from an oil industry contractor. In other words, straight, naked corruption.

Stevens, a powerful figure in Alaskan politics since before statehood and the Republican party's longest serving member of the United States Senate, was convicted after the jury deliberated since Wednesday. The charges carry a maximum possible sentence of 5 years for each count, but the law talking guys at the Times say he is likely, under the federal sentencing guidelines, to receive far less, if any jail time.

Stevens is locked in a tight race for the Senate seat he has held since 1968, with the Democrats hoping they can use his being convicted on seven felony counts to pick up additional seats towards a filibuster-proof super-majority. The latest polls are showing Stevens and democratic challenger Mark Begich in a statistical deadheat, with the latest numbers showing Begich with a 47-46 lead over Stevens. In a related story, I had a Begich once, which I treated thusly.

The real point of this story is that Stevens, who is now a convicted felon, might still win his Senate race. The NY Times pointed out that there is no law barring a convicted felon from being elected to Congress, which I viewed as basically the biggest "no-shitter" of this entire election.

Despite being a convicted felon, he is not required to drop out of the race or resign from the Senate. If he wins re-election, he can continue to hold his seat because there is no rule barring felons from serving in Congress. The Senate could vote to expel Stevens on a two-thirds vote.