Supervillian Genius Criminal Mastermind

Nobel Prize-laureate, Rhodes Scholar, MENSA member and embattled NY Giants wide-receiver, Plaxico Burress remains in the news three weeks after the bizarre incident in a New York City nightclub in which he accidentally shot himself in the thigh with a .40 Glock handgun. Local New Jersey police entered his home yesterday to execute a search warrant and found a trove of unusual items. Specifically, police found:

• One 9mm handgun
• A rifle A "small cache" of ammo for .380, .45. and .40 caliber guns
• A suitcase full of money
• A pair of blood-soaked jeans

It's kind of remarkable. Not really because of the weapons and ammo and stuff, or the suitcase full of money, but look at the last item: blood-soaked jeans. Now, maybe you're asking yourself, what is surprising about a guy who just shot himself in the leg having a pair of blood-soaked jeans? But then you remember that Plax was wearing sweats at tha club....

Here's some important gun-handling tips from Plax himself

Palin on Election Loss: It's those damned Mexicans

Governor Palin spoke to Fox News, and Fox News studiously avoided trying to make her look stupid. Unfortunately, You Betcha! can't see an open microphone without deep-throating it with her gag-reflex-free ignorance. She said she was not surprised at the GOP loss, considering that it represented the same failed policies of the previous eight years - most of which were the fault of the Republicans. Nice work Sarah. Listen, we all KNOW that's why you lost, but usually right after you lose you don't throw your entire party under the bus in order to exonerate yourself. And on Fox News. I hear that's a popular station for "your folks."

But Naylin Paylin went on to explain a few of her other MENSA level theories for the GOP loss, including their crushing inability to "get the Hispanic vote."

Oh, is that what did you in, Sarah? What braintrust came to that conclusion? Was it that massive Hispanic vote that typically goes Republican in those swing states like, for example, all of them? You guys lost by two hundred electoral votes - you think your inability to get a minority group to vote Republican that doesn't actually typically vote Republican and that lives mostly in states you either DID win or were NEVER going to win was what did it? Funny, if I had to peg any minority group that did you in, I probably would have said it was the African-American vote, and your inability to not have that group vote against you 99% to 1% (figures unofficial). Or the Jewish vote in a swing state like Florida. Jews voted for Obama by a margin approaching 80% to 20% as reported by CNN - an almost unbelievable figure. Sigh. What color is the sky in your world, Sarah?

But you're totally spot-on, as usual, Governor. It's those damned Hispanics. Good thing you don't have none of them up in lilly-white Alaska. They wreck everything.