Palin on Election Loss: It's those damned Mexicans

Governor Palin spoke to Fox News, and Fox News studiously avoided trying to make her look stupid. Unfortunately, You Betcha! can't see an open microphone without deep-throating it with her gag-reflex-free ignorance. She said she was not surprised at the GOP loss, considering that it represented the same failed policies of the previous eight years - most of which were the fault of the Republicans. Nice work Sarah. Listen, we all KNOW that's why you lost, but usually right after you lose you don't throw your entire party under the bus in order to exonerate yourself. And on Fox News. I hear that's a popular station for "your folks."

But Naylin Paylin went on to explain a few of her other MENSA level theories for the GOP loss, including their crushing inability to "get the Hispanic vote."

Oh, is that what did you in, Sarah? What braintrust came to that conclusion? Was it that massive Hispanic vote that typically goes Republican in those swing states like, for example, all of them? You guys lost by two hundred electoral votes - you think your inability to get a minority group to vote Republican that doesn't actually typically vote Republican and that lives mostly in states you either DID win or were NEVER going to win was what did it? Funny, if I had to peg any minority group that did you in, I probably would have said it was the African-American vote, and your inability to not have that group vote against you 99% to 1% (figures unofficial). Or the Jewish vote in a swing state like Florida. Jews voted for Obama by a margin approaching 80% to 20% as reported by CNN - an almost unbelievable figure. Sigh. What color is the sky in your world, Sarah?

But you're totally spot-on, as usual, Governor. It's those damned Hispanics. Good thing you don't have none of them up in lilly-white Alaska. They wreck everything.

Ralph Nader Calls Barack Obama An "Uncle Tom"

Sleep now, Ralph. Go away. Your crusading legacy hangs in the balance:



It's one thing to want corporate reform. It's quite another to hate corporations primarily made up of hard working citizens. Ralph has become the Evander Holyfield of presidential politics. Punchy and tragic.

Last Minute Of Joe The Plumber's 15 Minutes

Behold your working man hero.

You should take a shower after you clean out Fox News' septic tank. You stink, Joe.

Breaking News: Obama Losing to McCain on the Electoral Map . . . Bill O'Reilly's Electoral Map

Oregon and Michigan now toss-up states! North Carolina strongly leaning towards McCain! Cats and dogs living together! Mass hysteria!

Oh, according to Bill O'Reilly. Hahahahaha. Whew! Got me nervous there. All is well.

And as if this shocking development isn't enough, Nielsen ratings show MSNBC's prime-time lineup beating Fox News' long-running sitcoms (including the O'Reilly Factor) three of the past five days in the all important 25 - 54-years-old advertising demographic.

I'm about to state the obvious, but it makes me feel better. Here's the skinny on Fox News: 90% of its viewers are crusty, old, ultra-conservative mummies, diaper-clad and going the way of the Dodo. The other 10% are seething lefty masochists with a sick need to make their blood boil each evening. Fox News has made a sterling brand out of feigned victimization - a cartoonish "fair and balanced" us versus a "liberal media elite" them pitted in an aggrandized "culture war" interminably waged only by their pundits and a few wingnut followers.

Forever relegated to cable because most of the country is rational and sane, Fox News will continue to fight the fabricated fight against an imaginary liberal beast until it is fake-tamed and pretend-controlled before a limited television audience. It is quite the Muppet Babies adventure: "When your world looks kind of left and you wish that you weren't there . . . just close your eyes and turn on Fox, and the liberals won't be there!"

Don't celebrate, MSNBC. You're quickly becoming Fox News' ultra-liberal reflection in the punditry mirror and the reflection ain't too fair (except for Rachel Maddow, recently promulgated as my new celebrity crush freebie, serving a devastating blow to Audrina from The Hills. This new position on freebies has been well received according to my internal polling of the wife demographic.).

***UPDATE***: Add . . . Shepard Smith of, yes . . . Fox News . . . to my ever-growing list of pundit freebies I would tryst about with. And vote a resounding "NO" on Prop. 8 if you're a Californian resident so I can marry Smith for this one:



Without puffed-up apoplexy or pandering, Smith simply, uniquely, sets the record straight. And could there be a more laughable GOP paragon than Sam Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. Joe the Nitwit Plumber?

5 days to go! Don't just vote like all the unctuous celebs demand. THINK . . . then vote.

Joe the Secretary of State: "A Vote For Obama Is A Vote For The Death Of Israel"

No longer content merely to serve as the McCain campaign's chief economic advisor, Samuel Wurzelbacher a/k/a "Joe the (unlicensed, non-union) Plumber" has decided to take on the additional role of McCain's chief foreign policy advisor, based on his extensive experience in the field of unclogging toilets without a license.

Speaking at a McCain rally in Columbus "real America" Ohio yesterday, Joe the Foreign Policy Expert responded to a statement from a McCain supporter in the crowd. The McCain supporter, according to Joe, is "Middle America."

McCain Supporter: "A vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel! I'll guarantee you that!"

Joe the Foreign Policy Expert: "Actually, uh, I'll go ahead and agree with you on that. You know, well, I agree with you. I really think that would be a problem."

Apparently, this was the final straw for Fox News' Shepard Smith, who not only repeatedly questioned Joe's totally baseless and ignorant opinion, but was moved to issue a disclaimer following his interview with Wurzelbacher.

"I just want to make this 100 percent perfectly clear -- Barack Obama has said repeatedly and demonstrated repeatedly that Israel will always be a friend of the United States, no matter what happens once he becomes President of the United States. His words. The rest of it -- man...some things -- it just gets frightening sometimes. We'll be right back."

The full interview is worth a watch, if you want to experience stunned disbelief that a guy who literally would not be allowed by law to snake your sink in most states is now acting as McCain's chief economic and foreign policy messenger, and also if you are at all interested in your head literally exploding. Watch the interview here.

"Are You Joking? Is this a Joke?"

Joe Biden shows us how to handle stupid questions.



Expect Fox News to give Barbara West her own show. Stupid liberal media.

UPDATE - Maybe Fox News hasn't given her her own show yet, but she will be a guest on O'Reilly's propaganda machine tonight, as reported by Think Progress. I can only imagine the leading questions about her leading questions - "Do you think that Biden was being sexist or just hates women reporters in general?" "Do you think liberals are attacking you because Obama is a Marxist, a socialist, or because liberals just hate America?"

Also reported by think progress, her husband is a GOP media consultant. Nice. I wonder if that will make it into the interview?

Also reported - they'll do it live!

GOP Gigolo Hugh Hewitt Declares Bill Ayers An "Advisor" to Barack Obama

I'm pretty eager to get a good night's rest. But then the intellectual charlatans now practically running McCain's sputtering campaign just refuse to let me sleep.

Fine. Let's make this brief: Hugh Hewitt is a hebetudinous pig of a commentator and an out-and-out liar. After ignoring the white noise of standard GOP twaddle, my ears perk up as Hewitt offers this dirty fable on Hannity & Colmes: "I often hear in Barack Obama's rhetoric and especially in the rhetoric of some of his advisers Bill Ayers . . ." Pressed that Ayers is, of course, not an advisor to Barack Obama, Hewitt prattles on "he might not be an advisor this year . . . he has a 20 year relationship with Barack Obama."

Repugnant and typical. Even if Barack Obama is elected and elected by a sizable margin - ie., the empirics of a political mandate - GOP hitmen like Hewitt will never embrace him as President and will never accept a unified citizenry trying to work together despite ideological differences. The unthoughtful demagogues of dying Rovian conservatism will tear this country asunder for sh*ts and giggles.

Feigned torpidity, America - the righty hacks play dumb just long enough to stand corrected, but not before foisting their flimflam upon the audience and scoring points. Fortunately for the rest of us, everyone at Fox News or watching Fox News is either irredeemably in the Republican tank or playing watchdog to keep them honest. A forum for independent or undecided voters it is not.

Still, you say things enough times and the Orwellian dystopia emerges turning four fingers into five.

9 Days. Fight it. Earmuff it till the voting booth if you have to.

When even Fox News is calling you smooth, you know you're doing something right.

Is it surprising that John McCain has taken to calling Obama's tax relief plan for those making under 250k "socialism"? No. That is not surprising. Is it surprising the Socialism scare tactics seem like they are largely falling on deaf (and mad as hell) ears - and, if anything, hurting rather than helping McCain, who every time he opens his mouth seems to further torpedo his own campaign Lusitania? Actually... yeah, that's a little bit surprising. But the surprise is not in the tactic or its abject failure. It is in the way Fox News described it...

This, from the folks at Fox online...

FAYETTEVILLE, NC - It seems every time the McCain camp launches an attack Barack Obama’s way, the frontrunner dismisses it like a tennis player who is about to smash a softly lobbed ball into oblivion.

Wow. You know when Fox is making you sound like Roger Federer, you must be killin' em softly out there.

However, I should point out that Fox chose a tennis metaphor. As we all know, tennis is snooty and elitist. Coincidence? I report - you decide. On the other hand, I'm surprised they didn't choose a basketball reference. On the other, other hand, perhaps they were just trying to show their forward-thinking attitude - namely that black people have made great strides in this country and not only can possibly be president but are now allowed to even play tennis.

Ah-hem, just not at this country club, mister.

My word is oak. Sort of.

Back in 2000, Sen. McCain was the victim of disgusting robocalls, engineered by Karl Rove and the Bush Campaign to sabotage McCain's presidential campaign in South Carolina. The robocalls angered honorable American hero John McCain so much that he issued the straight-talk, my-word-is-oak type statement he used to make and, you know, keep:

"I promise you I have never and will never have anything to do with that kind of political tactic."

Today on Fox News Sunday, Chris Wallace asked McCain about the vicious robocalls he now is running against Sen. Obama. Ironically, McCain has hired the exact same firm that ran the robocalls against him to use the tactic against Obama. Noting that Sen. Susan Collins, Republican of Maine and co-chair of McCain's campaign in Maine, called for McCain to stop using the robocalls immediately, Wallace asked if McBush would do so:

MCCAIN: Of course not. These are legitimate and truthful and they are
far different than the phone calls that were made about my family and about
certain aspects that -- things that this is -- this is dramatically different
and either you haven't -- didn't see those things in 2000.

WALLACE: No, I saw them.

MCCAIN: Or you don't know the difference between that and
what is a legitimate issue, and that is Senator Obama being truthful with the
American people.

Watch it here