McCain-Palin Remains In The Crack Of America's Ass

I received the following email this morning from McCain-Palin (apparently there are traitors among us, anti-American elements in our midst, signing me up on Republican mailing lists. I'm suspending my campaign to hunt down these cyber terrorists. GOP succubus Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann is a person of interest):

I'm Joe the Plumber
Monday, October 20, 2008 12:08 PM
From:
"McCain-Palin Team" Add sender to Contacts
To: dqpotatoe@hotmail.com

How are you "Joe the Plumber"?Tell us in 30 seconds...

We want you to tell us how you are "Joe the Plumber" and why you're supporting John McCain and Sarah Palin in thirty seconds. You could even see your video as an official McCain TV ad. By now, "Joe the Plumber" is a household name and has become a symbol of Barack Obama's plan to "spread the wealth around." During a recent campaign event in Toledo, Ohio, "Joe the Plumber" asked a simple question and got a surprising answer from the Democratic nominee.

When he asked why Barack Obama's tax plan was going to punish him for working hard and living the American Dream, Barack Obama responded, "When you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

In that brief exchange, the American people got to see what this campaign is all about ... a choice between honoring the hard work of everyday Americans like "Joe the Plumber" and increasing taxes to "spread the wealth."

In these tough economic times, there is no doubt that John McCain and Sarah Palin stand firmly on the side of hardworking "everyday Joes" who understand the value of honest work and the American Dream. That's why we want to hear from you and share your story with the American public. It's simple ... make an ad telling us why you are "Joe the Plumber" in 30 seconds and we'll put the best ad on the air as a TV ad. Share your story of living the American Dream, working hard, or owning a small business to tell America why you're standing with John McCain and Sarah Palin. Click here today to learn more and submit your video before Friday, October 24th. Then help us spread the word about this exciting opportunity - tell your friends to visit JohnMcCain.com/Joe to submit their own video and share their story.

Please visit this page if you want to remove yourself from the email list.
Paid for by McCain-Palin 2008

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How am I "Joe the Plumber?????" Well, let's see - neither of us are licensed to work as a plumber. Neither of us are about to buy a plumbing business worth $250,000 or more. And neither of us like paying taxes (though there's a stark difference between us: I actually pay my taxes, whereas Joe faces a $1000 plus lien for back taxes. What a patriot! Criminal disobedience!).

How am I not like "Joe the Plumber?????" I have hair. I resist transforming into a glam-whore at the first sniff of media attention. Oh, and I go by my real first name.

So "Sam" the Plumber asked Barack Obama a "simple question and got a suprising answer": "When you spread the wealth around, it is good for everybody."

Does anyone honestly disagree with any part of this statement, even those of the uncompromising free market ilk? We are all capitalists (no matter what McCain-Palin would have you believe). We all respect ownership, free alienation of land, the opportunity of investment, competition and growth. And, sorry to break it to you, we are all socialists to a certain extent, accepting the benefits of social security, welfare, medicare, airline bailouts, financial sector bailouts, public transportation, human services, emergency services, etc. We grouse about higher taxes, but have no problem reaping the daily harvest.

Despite the rah-rah speeches on the stump, our current economy and the markets that drive it are hybrid forms that seek a seamless synergy of both the capitalist and socialist model. Don't worry, Republicans: it's not European socialism. Don't worry, Democrats: it's not the economic lotusland told around the Republican campfire either.

A suprising answer proffered by Obama? "Spread the wealth around?" As opposed to hoarding all of the wealth in the grubby hands of a few monocled fat cats - you know, Johnny Eight-Houses or Cindy My-Earrings-Could-Feed-Your-Family-For-A-Year - which has been a super sweet boon for our country's economic stability as recent events have shown.

Don't worry, Joe the taxpayer - AIG knows what to do with your money. Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!

Trickle-Down Economics doesn't work if you bury almost everyone below the basin, then let them die of thirst:

In the United States, wealth is highly concentrated in a relatively few hands. As of 2001, the top 1% of households (the upper class) owned 33.4% of all privately held wealth, and the next 19% (the managerial, professional, and small business stratum) had 51%, which means that just 20% of the people owned a remarkable 84%, leaving only 16% of the wealth for the bottom 80% (wage and salary workers).

And if McCain-Palin had a longer attention span than the average eight-year-old and provided a modicum of context instead of one strategic sentence out of one hundred sentences, they would realize that Barack Obama makes sense, Barack Obama is not going to steal your money to finance his "anti-American" agenda and that pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is impossible if you don't have bootstraps. You would realize that Obama' entire response to plumbers across America was unmitigated brilliance and one of his finest moments of the campaign:

Because my attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. If you've got a plumbing business, you're gonna be better off if you've got a whole bunch of customers who can afford to hire you. And right now, everybody's so pinched that business is bad for everybody. And I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody. But, listen, I respect what you do and I respect your question. And even if I don't get your vote, I'm still gonna be working hard on your behalf 'cause I want to make sure … small businesses are what creates jobs in this country and I want to encourage it. All right. (applause) One other thing I didn't mention. For small-business people, I'm gonna eliminate the capital gains tax, so what it means is if your business succeeds and let's say you take it from a $250,000 business to a $500,000 business, that capital gains that you get, we're not gonna tax you on it 'cause I want you to grow more so you're actually going … you may end up … I'd have to look at your particular business but you might end up paying lower taxes under my plan and my approach than under John McCain's plan. I can't guarantee that 'cause I'd have to take a look at your business.

No one gives a damn about Joe/Sam the Plumber, Bill Ayers, Charles Keating, Reverend Wright, Reverend Hagee or G. Gordon Liddy. They care about keeping their jobs, providing for their families, receiving affordable and quality healthcare and working towards their retirement.