ACORN: Mickey Mouse To Vote Come November!

And Disney characters flock to Ohio to exercise the grand old privilege of being a Cartoon-American, backed by the United States Supreme Court.

When asked for reaction, Sarah Palin stated ". . ." Hahahaha, I'm kidding - everyone knows you can't ask Sarah Palin questions.

ACORN: Ghost Stories for GOP Kiddies. Boooo!

To have standing to sue an individual and bring them into the court room, you, the plaintiff, must present an injury. Without injury, without a showing of damages or a theory of damages, the court has better things to do then adjudicate a case where the plaintiff is not entitled to relief.

The RNC is such a plaintiff when it comes to the ACORN pseudo-scandal. The chimeras of conservative moppets' nightmares - eg., a leftist Mickey Mouse primed to vote Obama - currently reside where they should remain: in dreams.

In the words of Barack Obama, "um . . . so . . . just to be clear" voter registration fraud does not bear fruits of voter fraud on November 4. As such, the Republicans cannot show injury. They cannot show damages.

Case closed . . . but of course it's not - since you hardened, righty, Kool-Aid chugging prick masters cannot stop pushing this lark or generally shut your pie holes. Sigh, let's play it out once again.

We revisit Disney and Mickey Mouse's indefatigable quest to vote for Obama: So the registration card filled out by "Mickey Mouse" is handed to representatives at ACORN from the ACORN canvasser (ie., by the way, just for a visual, Micky is a filthy hobo who stinks of Jack Daniels and rides the rails out past Toledo and is approached by an ACORN canvasser/pederast/check-kiter paid as an independent contractor based on the number of cards she submits. Make them black too, Neocons. Make it terrifying.).

If the card is suspicious, it is segregated from the stack of patently valid registration cards. Sometimes, the representative misses a suspicious card because she is working quickly, or is snorting Colombian bam-bam, or absolutely loves Obama. It really doesn't matter - for both the suspicious pile and verified pile are sent to the Election Board for review.

Why? BECAUSE IT'S THE LAW! ACORN is required to submit all registration cards it collects and stamps with its seal. Why? So that the Election Board can keep tabs on voter drives, provide ethical standards and confirm that the voting rolls are in order with the registration cards.

But Warm Apple Pie - what if the Board lets a suspicious card slip through and Mickey Mouse becomes listed on the voter rolls. Oh my god, does fraud win? Republican children huddle close! Fraud!!!! Boooooooooo!!!!!!

Um, no. Though Mickey Mouse is now registered to vote, there is no Mickey Mouse (sorry kids - there's no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny either. However, hobgoblin Dick Cheney is very real and will spray you with buckshot from his spectral shotgun if you don't pray for the destruction of Iran each evening).

Wait! What about the filthy hobo who filled out the card? He may try to vote as Mickey. Presto! Voter fraud. Fraud, GOP children. Fraud!!!!! Boooooooooooooooooo!

Um, no. The filthy hobo, Mickey Mouse, even Sarah Palin cannot vote without presenting a valid form of identification to the election monitor for authentication before signing the voter roll and before entering the voting booth. Why? BECAUSE IT'S THE LAW.

Okay, okay Warm Apple Pie. But playing along with me just to . . . GOP children? What are you doing? . . . oh my god . . . where did you get that Obama placard . . . stop waiving it . . . there is no change we can believe in . . . sit down children . . . Trig, you too - why are you watching the Couric interview again . . . behave!

Er, so play along with me. Let's say all of these fail safes . . . well . . . fail and the filthy hobo eludes detection and gets into the voting booth. I mean humans are fallible and at least half of the monitors are human (the other half are Democrats). I'm sure a ton of fraudulent votes are cast by misanthropes each election. Countless. Probably hundreds of thousands of these miscreants trolling the election sites. Maybe a million. Who knows?

Twenty. From 2002 to 2005 only 20 people were determined guilty of ineligible voting (and only five of these twenty were found to have voted more than once).

Sleep easy, GOP children. May visions of tax credits for sugar plum purchases dance in your heads.

* * * * *

ACORN is pure Republican hokum used solely to work the base into a heaving swell of stupidity and enlarge the ever-growing gaggle of phantasmal boogiemen conjured up by McCain-Palin this Fall. Maybe it's meant to simply hurt my ears.

It's viable for eighteen more days, as is the right-wing cacophony.

ACORN FLACK: Two Things to Realize

One, properly characterized, the allegations against ACORN touch upon "voter registration fraud," not "voter fraud" as Greta and Michelle Malkin inartfully cram down your throats with every unseemly report. There's a monumental difference - chances are none of the erroneous or falsified registration forms will result in a fraudulent vote. Fear not: Mickey Mouse will not pull a lever on November 4.

Two, most districts promulgate laws precluding the destruction of any registration form prior to a mandatory delivery to the Election Board for review. Mickey Mouse is then vetted. Mickey Mouse is then denied access to the polls on Election Day.

Another titantic GOP red herring.

Don't take my word for it: Newsweek notes the cartoonish quality of the ACORN diversion, playing out the new Disney movie "Mickey Goes To Vote" to its ineluctable conclusion:

"I'll use Mickey Mouse to demonstrate how ACORN has engaged in voter registration fraud. In Florida, Acorn pays local workers $8 an hour to gather 20 voter registrations a day. One of these workers, seeking to meet his quota and snap up his paycheck, wrote down "Mickey Mouse," forged a signature and turned his form; others have submitted forms with made-up names, repeated names, unreadable handwriting, missing information, signatures that didn't match those on file, altered dates of birth or Social Security numbers. Following protocol, ACORN tried to find the incomplete, duplicate or bogus forms and fire the employees who submit them. But before sending every application to the state--which is required by law--the group unfortunately failed to flag a few.

This has undoubtedly made life more difficult for the local officials tasked with verifying applications, and ACORN should be held accountable. But it can't possibly change who's voting on Election Day. Mickey Mouse isn't going to show up at the polls. Voters can't vote if they don't exist. People who are registered twice will only be allowed to vote once. Annoying as they are, these inconsistencies can't affect the outcome of the election. They can only cause headaches."

In a related story, Michelle Malkin is making the case for Mickey Mouse's internment until after November 4 just to be sure.

Disney Characters Endorse Obama

St. Petersburg Times reports that none other than Mickey Mouse tried to register to vote for the 2008 presidential election. Mickey's application was stamped with the logo of embattled nonprofit group ACORN, the "Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now," a grass roots action group pressing various social and economic issues for low income citizens.

ACORN has come under fire for what Republican watchdogs allege are unscrupulous voter registration drives in key battleground states. The building confrontation has become white hot in Ohio, where yesterday election officials in Cuyahoga County, Ohio's most populous voting district, launched an investigation into certain dubious dealings by ACORN canvassers, including an allegation by a 19-year-old registrant that he fraudulently signed 73 voter registration forms in the span of five months in exchange for $20 worth of cigarettes and cash.

Is the registration of Mickey Mouse really a story? I mean I know you need filler for the 24 hour news cycle. He's a six foot tall talking mouse: Shouldn't he be easy to spot and pull out of line at the polling place on November 4th in the unlikely event he attempts to vote?

This is a non-story. Give me something with legs - like Goofy soliciting a transvestite hooker outside the Carousel of Progress in Tomorrowland. That's a scoop. Or Cinderella getting violently gang-raped by Donald Duck and an animatronic William Howard Taft in the basement of the Hall of Presidents - a shocking crime that will forever rob the Liberty Square community of its innocence.

In a related story, Greta Van Susteren has pledged to burn herself at the stake if Barack Obama wins Ohio from an ACORN boon. Greta has done for her cause celebre, ACORN, what Nancy Grace has done for poor Caylee Anthony: Absolutely nothing! - except scowls, sneering eye rolls and pushing an investigatory progress comparable to Ray Charles looking for a five dollar bill in a wad of cash.

"Where's Caylee, dammit????? Where's Caylee?????? Now, look at my precious twins and worship them! Bless you, friends!"