Thanks, But No Thanks, On That Endorsement To Nowhere

Well, you knew it would happen. In the throes of the 72-hour push campaign from McCain-Palin and the RNC, a ominous voice chimes in to alter the course of this race. Shades of 2004 when terror beset the country and paralyzed John Kerry's supporters on the eve of the election.

He hates our freedom and liberty. Hates our Constitution. Hates that the . . . Democrats occupy his holy land. It's Osama Bin Cheney:



Oh my God! He's back! Your "November Surprise."

Cheney really pitching in, trying to swing the pendulum in the hotly contested battleground state of . . . Wyoming . . . and its highly coveted 3 electoral votes. The scuttlebutt is Cheney will hold a rally for McCain-Palin deep inside an abandoned mine in southern Idaho around 2 a.m., followed by a quick jaunt to Utah to conduct a press avail before sunrise in front of a group of home-schooled children locked inside the basement of a dismantled iron smelting plant. Cheney will then return to his subterranean lair beneath Washington D.C. to enjoy Fox News' election coverage, eager to discover who will be the next puppet-president under his supervision.

***UPDATE***: Barack Obama comments on Dick Cheney's timely endorsement of John McCain:

President Bush is sitting out the last few days before the election. But earlier today, Dick Cheney came out of his undisclosed location and hit the campaign trail. He said that he is, and I quote, "delighted to support John McCain."

So George Bush may be in an undisclosed location, but Dick Cheney's out there on the campaign trail because he'd be delighted to pass the baton to John McCain. He knows that with John McCain you get a twofer: George Bush's economic policy and Dick Cheney's foreign policy – but that's a risk we cannot afford to take.

In response, after giving a brief stump speech on McCain's behalf to the crew of a cargo ship off the coast of Nova Scotia, a red-faced Vice President Cheney exploded to his security detail, "Bring Obama to me!!!!!!!!!!!! Alive, if possible. Dead? Just as good." With the entire ship frozen with bewilderment, Cheney suddenly unsheathed a large umbrella, shed its nylon skin revealing whirling blades, and helicoptered off the deck of the vessel, cackling loudly.

***UPDATE***: To add insult to injury, Dick Cheney's hometown Wyoming newspaper endorses Barack Obama for President of the United States. That's got to smart a bit.

Baghdad John

I'm sure you all remember Baghdad Bob - Saddam's minister of disinformation turned internet sensation - proclaiming that there were no American tanks in Baghdad while the 3rd Infantry Division was rolling down Hussein Avenue. Well it seems we now have our own American version - Baghdad John. As the Palin-McCain tanks of racism are rolling down Main Street, USA, Baghdad John is telling the world that he's running a respectful campaign. Another day, another appeal to racism by the McCain campaign, and another day where Baghdad John asserts that the campaign he's running differs from the reality on the ground.

From Karen Tumulty of Time:

With so much at stake, and time running short, Frederick did not feel he had the luxury of subtlety. He climbed atop a folding chair to give 30 campaign volunteers who were about to go canvassing door to door their talking points — for instance, the connection between Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden: "Both have friends that bombed the Pentagon," he said. "That is scary." It is also not exactly true — though that distorted reference to Obama's controversial association with William Ayers, a former 60s radical, was enough to get the volunteers stoked. "And he won't salute the flag," one woman added, repeating another myth about Obama. She was quickly topped by a man who called out, "We don't even know where Senator Obama was really born." Actually, we do; it's Hawaii.

The Frederick in the above anecdote is none other than the GOP Chairman of Virgina, Jeffrey M. Frederick. Not some low level volunteer. Not some maverick Maverick supporter spewing hate on his own time. This is the GOP Chairman of Virginia. You can email or call him here, if you so desire.

Now either John McCain is sincere in his desire to run a respectful campaign, but has no control over that campaign (disqualifying him from the presidency), or he is a bigot (disqualifying him from the presidency). And for those who bristle at the allegation that McCain is a racist, I will offer the following - if McCain doesn't want people to think he's a racist, then he should stop appealing to racism in his campaign. If McCain doesn't want people to think he's a racist, then he should stop defending his supporters that call Obama a "terrorist," a "traitor," and advocate killing him. If McCain doesn't want people to think he's racist, then he should stop looking the other way when supporter after supporter treat Obama's middle name as a pejorative term. If McCain doesn't want people to think he's a racist, then he shouldn't let his campaign Co-Chair - his campaign Co-Chair - call Obama "a guy of the street" and insinuate that he was a drug dealer. If McCain doesn't want people to think he's a racist, then he shouldn't unleash his running mate to incite rage and xenophobia resulting in racial outbursts towards the closest black person in the room. If McCain doesn't want people to think he's racist, then he shouldn't allow the invocation at a Palin-McCain rally to explicitly call for a defeat of the Hindu, Buddhist and Muslim people praying for Obama. If McCain doesn't want people to think he's a racist, then he shouldn't allow his supporters to send letters from Republican headquarters stating that "Obama is an Arab."

If McCain doesn't want people to think he's a racist, then he should stop his campaign from saying racist shit. And if Baghdad John doesn't want to become the joke that Baghdad Bob is, then he better start facing reality instead of creating his own.

Tell us a story, Grandpa

The most puzzling moment in last night's presidential debate came up in Senator McCain's supposed strong-suit melieu, foreign policy. In response to Senator Obama's remarks about pursuing Osama bin Laden aggressively in Pakistan, should we have actionable intelligence that the Pakistanis were unable or unwilling to act on, the Distinguished Gentleman from the great state of Arizona stated the following: "I'll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I know how to get him. I know how to do it."

A question for the Distinguished Senator, if I may: John (may I call you "John?") if you know how to get him, isn't this the type of information that would be helpful to share? Maybe with the military? Maybe with the President? If you currently know how to get him, shouldn't you "put your country first," as you like to say, and maybe, you know, tell someone how? Just a thought.

And maybe it's just me, but I found last night's sotto voce McCain to be far creepier than regular McCain. Anyone?