When you think about John McCain, think about George Bush

Last night, one of the most important, influential voices in American politics finally released an endorsement for president. No, I'm not talking about the New York Times' endorsement of Sen. Obama released late last night. Nor am I talking about Pres. Bush's former Press Secretary Scott McClellan endorsing Obama on D.L. Hughley's show on CNN. But that does raise an interesting question: D.L. HUGHLEY HAS A SHOW ON CNN??? How does that sentence not end with "on the WB?" But no, I'm talking about President George Walker Bush, who finally came out to fully embrace the candidacy of Sen. John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin.

In complimenting Gov. Palin's amazing folksy appeal, Pres. Bush explained that "for a while I tried to be folksy, but after a bit it just came off douchey."

Drill, baby, drilla

All the mavericks in tha house, put ya hands up! All the mavericks in that house put ya hands up.!

I feel like I've said this already this week, but this is the best rap I've heard in a while, and I am pretty much the hardest gangsta blogga around, so you know that shit it serious. It features Gov. Sarah Palin, Amy Poehler, Seth Myers, and some other SNL cast members. Not featured: the huge boner this broad gives me. Every time I see her, ironically, all I can think about is drilling in her wetlands, if you know what I mean. I mean having sex with her.

Say Hello to your Mother for Me, Goat!

Warm Apple Pie spends its first political timeout and has two remaining. I could not let this pass without feigned outrage (feigned outrage is my bailiwick if you hadn't guessed).

Marky Mark mewls about Andy Samberg's think piece, what would it be like if Wahlberg exchanged pleasantries with some animals. From the Huffington Post:

"Wahlberg said of the sketch:

Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And "Saturday Night Live" hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now."

Let me get this straight: You're livid over SNL conjuring up a fictitious dialogue between yourself and a bunch of barnyard critters? Then I'm more livid over those 10 bucks you heisted from my wallet when I saw The Happening. I'd rather blow the goat Samberg was chatting up then sit through that cinematic turd again. And I thought you had a "great, big c*ck," Eddie Adams. Weak.

Wahlberg, say hello to your mother for me, alright.