The Soreness of Losing

The non-issue of Obama's confirmed American birth, evidenced by the official short-form birth certificate produced months ago, is back in the tabloids and in the courts. Everything-baiter Alan Keyes isn't satisfied and reputable (put McCain dick fingers around the adjective) Christian news outlets like World Net Daily happily hand him the conch:

The California Secretary of State should refuse to allow the state's 55 Electoral College votes to be cast in the 2008 presidential election until President-elect Barack Obama verifies his eligibility to hold the office, alleges a California court petition filed on behalf of former presidential candidate Alan Keyes and others.

The legal action today is just the latest is a series of challenges, some of which have gone as high as the U.S. Supreme Court, over the issue of Obama's status as a "natural-born citizen," a requirement set by the U.S. Constitution.

WND senior reporter Jerome Corsi even traveled to Kenya and Hawaii prior to the election to investigate issues surrounding Obama's birth. But his research and discoveries only raised more questions.

Yes, some of these challenges have gone as high as the U.S. Supreme Court - just high enough for the Supreme Court to say we wouldn't touch these spurious claims with Pinocchio's ten-foot nose.

You remember good ol' Alan Keyes, the "former presidential candidate," don't you? The GOP sacrificial lamb put up to slaughter in the 2004 Illinois senatorial election, where Obama gave him an absolute 70%-27% drubbing? Well, here are a few past blurts from that hole on Keyes's face to serve as a reminder:

On not congratulating Obama on his 2004 victory: I'm supposed to make a call that represents the congratulations toward the triumph of that which I believe ultimately stands for ... a culture evil enough to destroy the very soul and heart of my country? I cannot do this. And I will not make a false gesture.

On God's preferred candidate in the 2004 election: "Jesus wouldn't vote for Obama."

On homosexuality (and Dick Cheney's daughter's lifestyle): "Selfish hedonism."

By the way, I'm announcing my candidacy for President of the United States in 2012. However, I now withdraw my candidacy for President of the United States in 2012.

Regards,

Warm Apple Pie
Former Presidential Candidate

***UPDATE***: My past post on Phil Berg's shoddy lawsuit seeking the same relief as Keyes - dismissed by the 3rd Circuit in October. However, Berg continues to fight the opposite-of-good fight with this advertisement gathering pennies for his trifling cause, courtesy of our misguided friends at The Kansas Citian.

Now in fairness, the publisher of our blog-nemesis concedes his personal belief that Obama is a naturally born citizen of the United States. However, he gives a sounding board to the insane rantings of fringe-dwellers like Keyes or Berg because questions persist and apparently questions, lunatic or otherwise, are enough.

The Manchurian-American Candidate

Because Barack Obama has not released a copy of his birth certificate, we are forced to endure the axe-grinding hysterics of "patriots" like Phil Berg and his "legitimate" claim that Obama is not a natural born citizen and, therefore, cannot be President of the United States (What? He did? He released it? That picture to the left? Oh, it's nothing. Seriously, don't look at it. Pay no attention to the birth certificate behind the curtain).

Here's a copy of Berg's complaint, a paragon of attorney work product likely penned in crayons and lipsticked pig's blood, seeking declaratory and injunctive relief against Barack Obama and his other buddies: "Barry Soetoro," "Barry Obama," "Barack Dunham," and "Barry Dunham." Most compelling is averment 18 where Mr. Berg, a master jurist on equal footing with great legal minds like Cardozo, Darrow and Dershowitz, cites to . . . "Wikipedia English Version" and (not to be outdone) "Wikipedia Italian Version" to support his allegation that Obama's birth is "reported" to have occurred at two different Hawaiian hospitals. Berg further notes that there is a Canadian birth certificate linked to Barack Obama also "posted on the internet." An earlier draft of the complaint cited "two girls, one cup," "star wars kid" and "Will Ferrell's The Landlady," but were strategically dropped in the final version.

And if not a testament to sound jurisprudence and research, Berg's complaint at worse is a celebration of syntactical coherency and stellar grammar: "Obama obviously knows, because his father told the Obama, that he (Obama) also held/holds Kenyan nationality."

Precisely!

For good measure, Berg buttresses his claim with an allegation of Obama"s Kenyan citizenship (Barry is well traveled, apparently a citizen of the world) provided by "Chicago-based Internet Journalist, broadcaster and critic" Andy Martin.

You remember Andy? He's the Internet journalist, broadcaster and critic who once threw his hat in the ring as candidate for Congress on the broad-based "exterminate Jew power" platform. The Potatoe's leave-no-stone-unturned investigative journalism has also yielded the shocking revelation that Mr. Martin did not win that election.*

Enter the rumor mill, fair and balanced - Fox News' local affiliate in the crucial battleground state of Ohio picks up the story on Monday and gives it an audience (conspicuously timed considering Berg filed his ridiculous lawsuit on August 21 in a Federal Court in Pennsylvania).

Only 19 more days of the circus, kids. Hang in there. The audacity of hate must not win.

*Source: Wikipedia (English Version)

***UPDATE***: A Federal Judge throws out the litigious manifestation of an Internet-fueled conspiracy theory that Barack Obama was born outside of the United States. The court dismissed Phil Berg's inarticulate complaint finding private citizens lack standing to sue on eligibility requirements. The Court reasoned the harm alleged by Berg is "too vague and its effects too attenuated to confer standing on any and all voters."

Now, I'm just a simple, 53-year-old strip club disc jockey for the Spearmint Rhino in Las Vegas ("Joe the MC" so to speak), but my dilettante's knowledge of the law (sometimes the strippers get in some hot water) tells me this is a sound ruling by the Court.