A Final Note to John McCain

Dear Senator McCain:

My name is Patrick Bateman, and I work here in New York in Mergers and Acquisitions. I live at the American Gardens building on the Upper West Side, and I enjoy feeding stray cats to ATM machines.

The reason why I write today is to laud you and encourage you. Yes, that's correct. You see, I have hurled muck from this bully pulpit for a few weeks - at you, at Governor Palin (that won't stop) and at your party for its fearmongering and duplicity (likely ditto). But I will sling no more mud at your feet, Senator. Your journey is done. You have come many miles and it is time for you to have a well deserved rest - and a little bit of appreciation and understanding from this commentator.

So I write today to congratulate you, sir, on your concession speech last evening. It was one of the finest I have ever heard, and perhaps the most inspiring speech I personally have ever heard you give, Senator. It was conciliatory and supportive and you curtly cut down the negative elements in your crowd and commanded their attention, respect and that they keep their demonstrations of support positive.

I wish that your campaign had been more like your speech last night - but then again, if it had been, I think you would have been a more formidable opponent, and so perhaps I take that back. But last night, a glimmer of the man that many of us felt was a beacon of hope in the GOP years ago showed through. In your commendable address, to borrow a bit of the Star Wars comparison used by WAP in his post last night, I started to believe you were Darth Vader. You were seduced by the Dark Side of your party into compromising the ideals you once stood for in exchange for the ultimate Prize. But last night, as the final battle came to its then-inevitable conclusion, you were - as in the end of the Trilogy - redeemed. The Empire was defeated, but Anakin Skywalker, a good and decent man who simply chose the quick and easy path and got lost along the way, was given a second chance to do the right thing. I think that in losing, you, like Anakin, can reclaim your soul. In fact, I believe you will.

You have a job to do - you are still a Senator of the State of Arizona. You return to a Senate that is in need of a steady hand and leadership from both sides of the aisle to do what is necessary now in these troubled times. Let the light continue to shine through. Once it surrounded you and it is not too late for its return. It is never too late to reclaim the man you used to - a paradigm of what a politician should strive to be. The shackles of evil are off. You are unbound and free to return to Straight Talk and reason, moderation and cooperation.

We have serious problems and we need serious people to solve them. You were once one of these men. You could be again. In defeat, prevail. I have faith that this, your darkest hour, might too be the moment you turn it all around. This liberal is behind you, John. Be part of our new world. There is room for you to lead yet.

Sincerely,
Patrick Bateman
McCain Supporter 1999-2000