The Coolest of All Cucumbers

Even big spiders on his breast pocket can't phase Obama. This guy is cool under economic fire. Cool under arachnid fire.

This would have been the gaffe-turning point for my campaign as I erupted in frenzied, emergency motions, swingly my arms wildy and drenched in little school girl tears!

"Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. Get it off!!!!!!! Get it off!!!! Ewwwww! It's biting me!!!! Jesus Christ, where is it!!!!!Please!!!!! Somebody help me!!!!! I need a bailout!!!!!"

This clip sealed the deal for me. I'm voting for the uber-cool customer who laughs at spiders and market volatility.