God Save Kentucky. No, Really, That's A Serious Plea.

According to a story on Fox News, a group of those damned (get it?) Atheists are at it again, trying to allege that a clause in the Kentucky state anti-terrorism law of 2002 that requires the Office of Homeland Security in KY (ever wonder why a state where sodomy is illegal is abbreviated as such?) to post a plaque saying that the safety of the state "cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon almighty God." Uh oh. Does that mean God only protects the devout? Or is the belief by most Kentuckians enough to save the rest by the transitive property of equality? Does the hypotenuse of prayer from one corner of the state mean the other two corners... oh, let's just see what else the plaque says:

The plaque, posted at the Kentucky Emergency Operations Center in Frankfort, includes the Bible verse: "Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain."

"It is one of the most egregiously and breathtakingly unconstitutional actions by a state legislature that I've ever seen," said Edwin F. Kagin, national legal director of Parsippany, N.J.-based American Atheists Inc. The group claims the law violates both the state and U.S. constitutions.

The article then goes on to interview several prominent idiots from Kentucky, who apparently also happen to be state representatives, and they respectfully disagree with those Godless heathens from New Jersey. (writer's note: Parsippany sucks it. I've been there.) But the Atheists struck back, and it was just mean:

Kentucky isn't the only state dealing with religious issues, but Ed Buckner, president of American Atheists, said it's alone in officially enlisting God in homeland security.

"I'm not aware of any other state or commonwealth that is attempting to dump their clear responsibility for protecting their citizens onto God or any other mythological creature," Buckner said.

Ha. Actually, that was kinda funny. But it raises a good point. What about if Kentucky's Department of Homeland Security called upon the Flying Spaghetti Monster to defend its citizenry? That would probably not go over as well. But it would be a lot more delicious.

Those Spooky Mormons!

I have a gay cousin in California. Because both sides of the Proposition 8 debate refuse to directly speak to its express terms, instead using oblique references to "fundamental rights," "preservation of marriage" and "our children's future" in their advertisements, my cousin wanted me to shine the light on this important proposal - far too important to befuddle and stupefy voters into a tainted victory.

From my cousin's voter information guide issued by California Secretary of State Debra Bowen. Here is the official "background":

"In March 2000, California voters passed Proposition 22 to specify in state law that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. In May 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled that the statute enacted by Proposition 22 and other statutes that limit marriage to a relationship between a man and a woman violated the equal protection clause of the California Constitution. It also held that individuals of the same sex have the right to marry under the California Constitution. As a result of the ruling, marriage between individuals of the same sex is currently valid or recognized in the state."

Here is the official Proposition 8 "proposal":

"This measure amends the California Constitution to specify that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. As a result, notwithstanding the California Supreme Court ruling of May 2008, marriage would be limited to individuals of the opposite sex, and individuals of the same sex would not have the right to marry in California."

This is a constitutional initiative - meaning Proposition 8 amends the California Constitution and eliminates the right of same-sex couples to marry. There is no judicial bypass. Heterosexual marriage becomes enmeshed into the fabric of state law.

I would vote "no" on Prop. 8 if given the opportunity. Why? Because I don't want the spooky Mormons rummaging around in my underwear draw when they happen upon their next divine mandate.