Rhinotaxy

From Politico:

The bill levies a 5 percent tax on elective cosmetic surgery. The provision raises $5 billion and was needed to make the numbers work, according to a Democratic Senate aide.

The Finance Committee considered the tax but dismissed it, in part because it was a public relations battle that senators were not willing to wage.

$5 billion in revenue going forward, but $500 billion if this do-nothing Congress would have acted with a sense of urgency after the release of Thiller in 1982. Jackson WAS the public option. Nip, tuck, make a buck, health bill sucks, makes me wanna chuck, bunch of muckety-mucks, don't really give a f**k, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, suck it Pelosi, blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. The health care debate has reduced me to crude rhymes and indefatigable groans.

Ever forward with the tax, however. Pelosi's face is an unexplored goldmine.

Economic Hot Potatoe

Too soon, Chevy Volt. Too soon.

During campaigns no one likes to play the blame game. On the Hill, however, it's everyone's fault except the public servant in the mirror:

For now, however, with the federal emergency loan plan stalled in the Senate, lawmakers in both parties are engaged in a high-stakes game of chicken, positioning themselves to blame each other for the failure.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., scrapped plans Wednesday for a vote on a bill to carve $25 billion in new auto industry loans out of the $700 billion Wall Street rescue fund.
It's really up to Bush's team to act, he said.

"I don't believe we need the legislation," Reid said. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson can tap the financial industry bailout money to help auto companies, Reid said, but "he just doesn't want to do it."

Not our responsibility, countered the White House.

"If Congress leaves for a two-month vacation without having addressed this important issue ... then the Congress will bear responsibility for anything that happens in the next couple of months during their long vacation," said Dana Perino, the White House press secretary.

You think the American people will be fair and discriminating with the truckloads (Japanese manufactured trucks, 50 miles to the gallon) of blame at their disposal when Detroit goes belly up and the sky falls? Keep telling yourself that, Dana.

And not giving a red government cent to the Big Idiot 3 (i.e., America's Lenny Smalls to Japan's George Miltons: Honda, Toyota, Nissan) might be the most thoughtful and prudent action within this economic sh*tstorm. But if the proverbial "do-nothing" Congress wants to now, in fact, do nothing, then own the damn thing. Don't leave a flaming bag of auto industry poo on the White House's front step, play "ring and run," then fly your lobbyist-paid-for private jet down to Barbados for two months (for that matter, who the f**k takes two-month paid vacations besides new mothers on maternity leave?!?! Henry Waxman, you better show me one hideous-looking troll-baby before you're excused from the legislation table. Christ, even the retarded Texan only spends a month at a time clearing brush at the Crawford Ranch).

"A high stakes game of chicken?" When did our elected officials go all Rebel Without A Cause on us? Take off the leather jacket, Barney Frank. You are not cool!

Oh my God! I think I just became a pure fiscal conservative. Let's make the Bush tax cuts permanent. I don't want these feckless Beltway dolts taking another dollar of taxpayer money to spend frivolously on a bailout for eHarmony or Arby's.

You are no longer sound stewards of our money. No taxation without representation. Not one of you represents me.

Joe The Plumber And Cockroaches Survive Nuclear And Political Holocausts

Joe the Plumber gearing up for a 2010 Congressional run . . . as of this morning . . . when the idea first struck him . . . well, actually, Laura Ingraham raised the concept and Joe didn't dismiss it out-of-hand.

Say it ain't so . . . AH, SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP, PALIN!!!!! PLEASE SHUT UP!!!!!! 10 more days!!!!! 10 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem . . . Joe, you'd be better suited for an entertainment vehicle like The Surreal Life or Deal Or No Deal. No one is questioning your mental dexterity when it comes to picking numbered suitcases.

Think about your $250,000 business you don't really own. Who's going to fake-watch that while you're in D.C. snaking the clogged drain of bureaucratic gridlock? What about the plumbing license you never had? Or those back taxes you owe? Or that first name you don't really have? Gosh, it's tough enough being a pretend small-business owner without the burden of real Congressional work. Plus, I hear "Trolley" will challenge you for the 5th District of the "Neighborhood of Make Believe" as Democratic incumbent King Friday VIII is retiring.

Why not run for President? Ashley Todd could be your running mate. I've already crafted your campaign slogan: "Wurzelbacher-Todd - Change You Can Believe In For Fifteen Minutes."

***UPDATE***: During a live online chat today on the Washington Times website, Sam-Joe the Sort-Of-Plumber expressed trepidation at the prospect of an Obama presidency: "When I was face to face with him, my honest first impression was that I expected something more. I had heard so much about 'his presence' in the media that I was surprised to find that he seemed very average . . . My gut feeling as he answered my questions? I was scared for America."

In a related story, Senior VP of Fox News John Moody released another blog post on the Fox Forum entitled "Moment of Truth II" stating, "Joe's fear of Barack Obama is a watershed moment for this election year. If it turns out Joe's fear is genuine, the entire electorate will revisit their support of Barack Obama because they don't know him. If Joe's fear is a hoax, then John McCain's campaign is effectively over for plumber-baiting."

He seemed "very average," huh? Once again I'll let the video of your encounter with Obama speak for itself: