tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46196290541818323152011-07-29T05:38:32.110-04:00Dan Quayle's PotatoeButtering the quotidian starchiness.Sidecarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10892698757228271909noreply@blogger.comBlogger4051100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-23689594542904228772009-12-03T12:57:00.008-05:002009-12-03T13:49:29.157-05:00Fighters Don't Die; They Just Fade Away . . . Into "Bolivian"Last evening in Australia, 36-year old unregarded, cruiserweight bruiser Danny Green summarily dismissed (that's being kind - how about "eviscerated") the dim, fading shadow of former pound-for-pound king, Roy Jones, Jr., inside of one round by technical knockout.On May 21, 2004, the morning after his unblemished record (unofficially undefeated with one official loss) was marred by a viciously Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-49045764798720009022009-11-25T10:17:00.014-05:002009-11-25T16:20:02.245-05:00100 Years WarSo let me get this straight - the same guy who declared Obama a failure after, what, 2 months in office, wants me to give him A HUNDRED YEARS to fix America? Quit your slacking, Beck. You get 75 years, tops.So what's the plan, or as Beck refers to it - "The Plan"? Hold on, bucko. As Joe the Plumber demonstrated, freedom ain't free, and neither is Beck's master plan. You have to buy his book. And Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-10323250787422671012009-11-24T13:07:00.008-05:002009-11-24T13:55:18.448-05:00The Day After Tomorrow . . . Is Sunny And Mild?If you get out too far in front of a scientific theory, you may want to "slow your roll." Suddenly you look around and you're all alone (well, just you, Al Gore and an indian chief with a rolling tear).Scandal at the East Anglia Climate "Research" Unit! Hackers release emails showing falsification of statistics? Skeptical voices in the scientific community snuffed out? Empirical "tricks" to Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-14451286460799788972009-11-23T08:30:00.004-05:002009-11-23T08:34:49.277-05:00Watch Your Back, Mr. Simmons......because Warm Apple Pie is monitoring you. The picture below was taken by WAP at the Clippers-Nuggets game on Friday night while WAP was passing through Los Angeles on his way to Shanghai to negotiate a new carbon emissions protocol. Mr. Simmons: you have been warned... WAP managed to attach a tracking device to you while you were waiting on line for beer (oh who are we kidding - there are no Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-79230871922948731082009-11-19T15:17:00.006-05:002009-11-19T15:41:51.210-05:00RhinotaxyFrom Politico:The bill levies a 5 percent tax on elective cosmetic surgery. The provision raises $5 billion and was needed to make the numbers work, according to a Democratic Senate aide.The Finance Committee considered the tax but dismissed it, in part because it was a public relations battle that senators were not willing to wage.$5 billion in revenue going forward, but $500 billion if this Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-71813746146471888432009-11-18T14:57:00.007-05:002009-11-18T15:17:33.761-05:00The Potatoe Runs a Test...Good afternoon people. Today, to welcome you all back to the Potatoe (or to find some new friends), we're going to highlight some of the headlines we've seen come across the ticker today..."Dakota Fanning attends premeire of Twilight: New Moon movie and receives copy of Sarah Palin autobiography while mourning death of Ken Ober""Maersk Alabama crew fend off pirate attack while watching Jenna Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-45108132827546430612009-11-18T13:21:00.007-05:002009-11-19T16:09:43.450-05:00It Puts The Palin In The Basket (With Update)Andrew Sullivan and support staff at the Daily Dish have gone postal on Palin yet again and descended into fullbore bananas-mode. They now meddle with the dark arts of fanatacism, conspiracy theorizing and celebrity derangement disorder.Pulling the plug on Dish posts based on new, "shocking" (sarcastic finger quotes, not for citation) evidence brought to bare through Palin's book, evidence that Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-51223310644872361812009-07-27T16:02:00.006-04:002009-07-27T16:28:34.747-04:00"I'm Resigning, and Job Growth Also"That quittiest of quitters, Sarah Palin, finally resigned. In a Potatoe exclusive, we have learned that the real reason for her resignation was her violation of Alaska's constitution by simultaneously holding two public offices: (1) Governor of the State of Alaska and (2) Mayor of Crazytown. Oh Sarah, while you have chosen to forsake Alaska's larger concerns for a smaller, yet more fanatic, Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-42527116525675453922009-07-22T11:27:00.004-04:002009-07-22T11:45:50.030-04:00The Luxury FurnacePresident Obama is failing miserably in his argument for healthcare reform, and it's because he is letting his opponents control the argument. Right now, everyone is focused on the "how" of healthcare reform, instead of the "why." That argument is ideal for opponents of healthcare reform, and it's an argument Obama can't win. People aren't going to be convinced on the how - or even open to debateDefective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-66814533897524710912009-02-13T12:57:00.004-05:002009-02-13T13:04:33.935-05:00Do your job!So according to Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.), most of his colleagues voting for the Stimulus Bill won't have time to read it before voting yes.Add this to the Peter King interview I heard the other night, where he stated that he had already decided not to vote for the bill despite never having read it, and it's pretty clear that we are being governed by a Congress more concerned about posturing and Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-2978680904588394962009-02-05T21:28:00.002-05:002009-02-05T21:38:20.206-05:00Nothing Fair About The Fairness DoctrineForeboding words from Senator Stabenow. The resurrection of the Fairness Doctrine may be more than a Republican circle meme:http://www.politico.com/blogs/michaelcalderone/0209/Sen_Stabenow_wants_hearings_on_radio_accountability_talks_fairness_doctrine.html?showallIf Obama doesn't vehemently oppose these shenanigans by the Democratic senators, he loses my vote in 2012. This is a deal breaker Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-83793349494421627192008-12-24T11:25:00.001-05:002008-12-24T11:29:31.656-05:00Supervillian Genius Criminal MastermindNobel Prize-laureate, Rhodes Scholar, MENSA member and embattled NY Giants wide-receiver, Plaxico Burress remains in the news three weeks after the bizarre incident in a New York City nightclub in which he accidentally shot himself in the thigh with a .40 Glock handgun. Local New Jersey police entered his home yesterday to execute a search warrant and found a trove of unusual items. SpecificallyJack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-7196747992611669802008-12-11T11:47:00.003-05:002008-12-11T11:54:09.304-05:00Blagojevich: Is there anything left to say? Yes.Unless you've been hiding under a rock or his hair, you know about the corruption and general douchebaggery of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (note: is this name real? It can't be real, can it?). Let's not focus on his crimes. They've been covered to death already. Let's focus on his wife...She's been called "Lady MacBeth" by ABC News here. Apparently she keeps scrubbing but can't get herPat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-81152749054431404792008-12-09T16:44:00.001-05:002008-12-09T16:46:13.508-05:00Obama Is A MacDaddy . . .No commentary needed:Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-87242740872495845472008-12-05T19:24:00.003-05:002008-12-05T19:28:43.612-05:00The Juice . . . Is No Longer Loose! You can read the Bible to pass the time, but salvation does not lie within . . . not for you.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-16747029116578961052008-12-05T16:42:00.004-05:002008-12-05T17:50:05.929-05:00Yes We Can . . . Tank Our Professional Aspirations27-year-old wunderkind John Favreau (no relation to the eponymous Vince Vaughn pilot fish), valedictorian of Holy Cross's class of 2003 and current chief speechwriter for President-Elect Barack Obama, may have to dig deep into his formidable bag of words to orate his way out of this candid mess - groping the right boob of our future Secretary of State's life size cutout while his co-conspirator Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-49876972026479664312008-12-05T12:10:00.006-05:002008-12-05T12:53:32.449-05:00I'm In Palinville And Andrew Sullivan Is The Mayor Breaking news: Palin not fat enough before Trig's birth. And in our next segment, Barack Obama born in Saudi Arabia?Andrew Sullivan continues his unhealthy fixation on the "truth" of Trig Palin's birth, now with new photographic evidence showing Sarah Palin three weeks before the alleged delivery. Sullivan marginalizes all the good work logged during the 2008 campaign, ever-vigilant in exposing Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-10818602616900451382008-12-04T16:09:00.008-05:002008-12-05T19:29:31.287-05:00Sandra Bok ChoiIs anyone immune from the spreading economic crisis?:Natalie Portman is not a sole sister anymore.Proving that not even celebrities are immune to the country's economic crisis, the actress' vegan shoe line of less than a year, the Natalie Portman Collection for Té Casan, has closed up shop, making it even more of a limited edition than expected.The critter-free line of footwear, announced by the Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-43755114051182349362008-12-03T14:25:00.005-05:002008-12-03T14:36:07.392-05:00Proposition 8: The MusicalSee more Jack Black videos at Funny or DieA hodgepodge of Hollywood celebs offer a rib-tickling protest against Proposition 8, exposing the hypocrisy of gay marriage opponents.Normally, I detest celebrity forays into the political realm (e.g., if you tell me to vote or reverse-psychology not to vote one more time, I will slit my wrists), but this is star power used with welcome effect.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-69434505630248299842008-12-03T08:59:00.006-05:002008-12-03T09:16:10.661-05:00God Save Kentucky. No, Really, That's A Serious Plea.According to a story on Fox News, a group of those damned (get it?) Atheists are at it again, trying to allege that a clause in the Kentucky state anti-terrorism law of 2002 that requires the Office of Homeland Security in KY (ever wonder why a state where sodomy is illegal is abbreviated as such?) to post a plaque saying that the safety of the state "cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-58872133715319080222008-12-03T06:28:00.000-05:002008-12-03T08:59:32.583-05:00Gotham...Will Be...Destroyed.News flash: a major attack using a chemical, biological or nuclear weapon could occur in the next few years somewhere at some time. These are the chillingly general and frighteningly unhelpful conclusions of a new study conducted by study by the Commission on the Prevention of WMD Proliferation and Terrorism (yes, that's the name. No, there's no acronym or anything. Try saying that ten times fastPat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-80992042057363357372008-12-02T11:00:00.001-05:002008-12-02T12:07:15.261-05:00Our National Religion'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'Are you kidding me, America? Get a f**king grip:A worker was killed in the crush Friday after a throng of shoppers eager for post-Thanksgiving bargains burst through the doors at a suburban Wal-Mart, authorities said. Police Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-23376334612344158382008-12-01T18:11:00.006-05:002008-12-01T19:03:50.332-05:00ODB "Likes It Raw," But Not This Raw DealDead at 36, Russell Jones, a.k.a. Ol' Dirty Bastard, a.k.a, Dirt McGirt, a.k.a. Big Baby Jesus, allowed MTV cameras to accompany him in a limo to a New York City welfare office to get his family's allotment of food stamps. Citibank prefers a private jet to Washington D.C, but travels with similar irony.From a Malkin reader, fed up:I have been a Citibank cardholder since 2002. I have a better thanWarm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-44118056311279332732008-12-01T16:01:00.001-05:002008-12-01T16:30:11.713-05:00The Rule of Law: or whateverNews is coming out of Washington today that likely will slip under the radar, but which should be of major concern to anyone who still maintains quaint notions about personal liberty, freedom and the rule of law. As noted on Drudge, with the oh so cute title "Passe Comitatus Act," MSNBC is reporting that the Pentagon has plans to deploy 20,000 uniformed soldiers within the United States to "help Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-52721082483132167102008-12-01T09:13:00.003-05:002008-12-01T09:18:52.151-05:00Disney Theme Park Ride, Movie Trilogy Terrorize International CommunityLet me get this straight - governments around the world have paid $150 million just this year to PIRATES? Like, pirates on the high seas, as reported here, with peg legs and parrots? The Somali pirate leader, pictured at left, has demanded $2 million and some Max Factor products at cost be sent to them for the release of a trawler taken hostage. Goddamn - that's a lot more than I'm making. Time Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-56408180862496615272008-11-26T19:49:00.000-05:002008-11-26T19:50:25.791-05:00Happy ThanksgivingWarm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-35144828754171882612008-11-26T13:48:00.003-05:002008-11-26T14:13:01.277-05:00Economic PatriotismIn his interview with Barbara Walters, President-Elect Obama asks for simple decency this holiday season:WALTERS: Should bank executives -- it's almost Christmas time -- forgo their bonuses?OBAMA: I think they should. That's an example of taking responsibility. I think that if you are already worth tens of millions of dollars, and you are having to lay off workers, the least you can do is say, "Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-68148121126125944422008-11-26T02:03:00.004-05:002008-11-26T02:26:48.660-05:00"Articulate Advocacy . . . Thank You, Sarah Palin"A California-based political action committee, Our Country Deserves Better, will unveil a series of advertisements this Thanksgiving week giving . . . um . . . thanks . . . to vanquished GOP vice presidential candidate Governor Sarah Palin. The group thanks Sarah for her "articulate advocacy of common sense conservative values" (hahaha - I'm sorry, but I did chuckle typing this snippet) and then Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-91207786537425598032008-11-25T13:34:00.002-05:002008-11-25T13:36:42.992-05:00Joe The Television RepairmanSay it ain't so, Joe? Death to analog!Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-70380275363497647782008-11-25T12:35:00.005-05:002008-11-25T13:18:35.315-05:00Red Dawn? The commie bastards took our McGriddles! Wolverines!!!Oh damn. Gird your loins, folks!Russian Professor Igor Panarin, described as a "leading Russian political analyst," predicts a new dawn for Mother Russia spawned from the economic collapse of the United States of America (courtesy of Drudge):Professor Igor Panarin said in an interview with the respected daily IZVESTIA published on Monday: "Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-2359685741997535852008-11-25T08:34:00.004-05:002008-11-25T09:14:39.121-05:00UK Introduces New ID Card System, Codename "Older Sibling"As I have written before here, it irks me when holier-than-thou foreigners pat us on the back for the election of Barack Obama, saying things like "we didn't think you had it in you, old chaps!" America is imperfect, but it's the most perfectly imperfect country ever devised by the hand of man. Yes, with all its flaws, it is still the greatest country in the history of history - put that in your Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-91994223603899052562008-11-24T19:04:00.002-05:002008-11-24T19:22:43.161-05:00The Very Last Samurai (We're Sure This Time)Tom Cruise, method actor, may still be inhabiting Nathan Algren, his role as a drunk, has-been American army hero turned Japanese rebel in The Last Samurai:LOS ANGELES (AP) — A security guard shot and killed a man wielding two Samurai swords Sunday on the grounds of a Scientology building in Hollywood, police said.The unidentified man approached three guards around noon in the parking lot of the Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-14776478274104266582008-11-23T22:59:00.004-05:002008-11-23T23:20:06.881-05:00Those Evangelicals: Always Banging. Wait - what?Honestly, I can't do the article justice, so please just read it for yourselves here. Long story short: Texas evangelical pastor challenges congregation (the marrieds, of course, no single tag-along fornicators) to have sex every day for a week. It's really worth a read. It's an interesting idea. Frankly, I'd like to hear more talk like this from the Religious Right. At least then there's Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-60006741049345441272008-11-22T11:19:00.002-05:002008-11-22T11:45:46.909-05:00Obama to Reboot WPABarack Obama is looking towards our collective future while borrowing from our past, apparently. The last time this country was in such a financial downward spiral, a visionary named Franklin - the to-that-point far lesser known fifth cousin of an older and bolder dude named Teddy - became president and rammed through quasi-Socialist legislation to turn this country into a pseudo-Socialist regimePat Batemannoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-3136426442494792422008-11-21T12:57:00.004-05:002008-11-21T15:52:42.315-05:00Gobble Gobble AlsoUpon witnessing the carnage of turkey mass genocide in Wasilla this morning, Schindler Palin clucks "I could have done more. I should have done more." "And cut. Hmmmm, still don't think we have the shot, Governor. I got to have more turkey slaughter in the background. Chip, can we have him grind more turkeys this time? Super. From the top: Scene 2, Sarah Palin presser at turkey Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-13173848094529680862008-11-21T12:16:00.005-05:002008-11-21T12:32:41.293-05:00SPECIAL POTATOE UPDATE: We're all gonna die!!!A new report released by the intelligence community and summarized here (and in full here) predicts the state of the world in 2025. And let's just say that things don't sound good..."The world of the near future will be subject to an increased likelihood of conflict over resources, including food and water, and will be haunted by the persistence of rogue states and terrorist groups with greater Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-1766227598842218012008-11-20T19:39:00.004-05:002008-11-20T19:53:32.056-05:00She's Business Class Here, have another one, on the house.OTTAWA (Reuters) - Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are "functionally disabled by obesity" deserve to have two seats for one Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-78467318116769491582008-11-20T16:06:00.009-05:002008-11-20T18:13:26.798-05:00Joe The Plumber Finally Gets His Book Deal Of course he did. I'd rather read binary code during a simultaneous root canal/rectal exam.
Working title: "An American Floater: The Story of One's Citizen Refusal to be Flushed Away into the Sewer of Identity Politics." Cover photo to the left. Foreword to be penned by Ashley "Backwards B" Todd. Hannity has already committed a jacket blurb sight unseen: "This is the greatest book God has Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-58482257650240308672008-11-20T13:46:00.003-05:002008-11-20T14:36:20.431-05:00Economic Hot Potatoe Too soon, Chevy Volt. Too soon.During campaigns no one likes to play the blame game. On the Hill, however, it's everyone's fault except the public servant in the mirror:For now, however, with the federal emergency loan plan stalled in the Senate, lawmakers in both parties are engaged in a high-stakes game of chicken, positioning themselves to blame each other for the failure.Senate Majority Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-7736799285166545812008-11-20T13:45:00.007-05:002008-11-20T14:37:20.278-05:00They're Coming To Your Town!America? Now the "rainbow city upon a hill" because you capitulated to gay militants and their potentate, Tim Gunn. Holla at your boy, Tony Perkins! A new instructional DVD released by the American Family Association teaches yokels how to prevent gay activists from taking over their town's council and promulgating Cher's birthday as a local holiday. Here's the plot line (use the link for the Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-84043494820706283942008-11-20T12:25:00.001-05:002008-11-20T12:35:28.750-05:00Forgive me for not shaking handsSure, maybe Dana Perino can look at this video and spin it in a way to suggest that it was President Bush's choice not to shake hands with all the world leaders at the G-20 summit Saturday, but somehow that's not how I read it. Maybe in his final weeks as POTUS Bush is trying to bring back George Washington and John Adams's practice...Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-42326379163487932862008-11-20T11:40:00.005-05:002008-11-20T12:21:33.603-05:00Never Say "Bachmann" Five Times Into A MirrorLike any good movie baddie, Michelle Bachmann is back. You thought she was dead, but she is not. Sure, the villagers may have burned down her castle with torches, but Bachmann cannot be killed by any contrivance of man. Every time I see her, the creepy piano score from Halloween clicks on inside my head.You see, Michelle Bachmann is an urban legend. She is Keyser Söze. She does not exist. Or, Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-70675392500033113422008-11-20T01:30:00.004-05:002008-11-20T01:35:50.248-05:00We'll Do It Live (The Club Remix)This song is huge in Germany in 1938. And even The Potatoe is not immune to Hitler analogies.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-5707230592350210872008-11-19T22:00:00.000-05:002008-11-20T00:18:51.832-05:00Say It Ain't So, Mark! Get ready to dance again, Mark.I've always respected Mark Cuban, and will continue to do so until the government carries its burden of proof:WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks professional basketball team, was charged with insider trading in shares of Mamma.com Inc, an Internet search engine firm, the Securities and Exchange Commission said on Monday.Cuban, one of Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-47768694204206022322008-11-19T20:53:00.003-05:002008-11-19T20:57:10.732-05:00Hitler Was Nut(s)?No shock here. You need two to complete the conquest of Europe (except for France, where a vagina will suffice).Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-51130848463850271972008-11-19T20:21:00.005-05:002008-11-19T20:31:16.387-05:00Talking Points Memo: The Day In 100 SecondsNothing gives me more comfort when the Dow dips below the 8000 mark than seeing Gene Simmons on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, pumping up the Kiss Army, drolly predicting that, yes, Kiss condoms will get the economy "comin' and goin' again."Barack, how about a cabinet post for Gene? We'll use his tongue to lick our wounds during the coming "recession" (if the word "recession" actually Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-42916534018604873922008-11-19T19:02:00.009-05:002008-11-19T19:44:12.742-05:00Moose Knuckled UnderESPN reports that Yankees pitcher Mike Mussina will retire. He gets his 20-win season and calls it quits, no doubt whining about something when making his decision.Is he a HOFer? No Cy Young Awards. No ERA titles. Never the best pitcher in the league in any given year. Only one 20-win season, despite playing on good teams for most of his career.Verdict: Stewed.Hahahaha - sank you, I be here all Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-9471574937850834432008-11-19T17:00:00.002-05:002008-11-19T19:02:30.783-05:00Down Goes Stevens! Down Goes Stevens!Look, Ted, piece of advice. On your first day in the joint, find the biggest guy in the lunch hall and blast his teeth in. But after that, pick him up off the ground and share your cornbread with him. See, the inmates will fear you, but respect you. They'll know you're a man not to be trifled with, but you live by a code. Other than that, don't drop the soap:ANCHORAGE, Alaska – Sen. Ted Stevens, Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-15506918406009560842008-11-19T16:46:00.007-05:002008-11-19T18:40:28.093-05:00Al-Qaeda translator to Obama: We Know Bad Words!!So, the #2 man in Al-Qaeda, Ayman al-Zawahiri, today announced that President-Elect Obama, along with other notable black people such as secretaries of state Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, are "house Negroes."That's not the story though. See the story isn't that HE said that. HE actually did NOT say that. Actually, what he said, according to Fox News, translates literally from Arabic to "Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-4644923820213735202008-11-19T16:24:00.004-05:002008-11-19T16:43:54.179-05:00Intelligent Conservatism Seeks A BailoutBy way of Wonkette, Kathryn Jean Lopez, editor of National Review Online, strapped for cash, goes all AIG on us, putting out a suntanned hand, begging for chump change:Re: Cruising [Kathryn Jean Lopez]I’m getting a number of e-mails from people who complain that we have some nerve asking for money after spending on a cruise last week. I totally understand how that looks bad. But here’s what you Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-84589523392160715242008-11-19T15:30:00.003-05:002008-11-19T15:40:30.077-05:00The Automobile Bailout: Saved by Zero (expectation of it getting done)Democrats in Congress today told the auto industry to temper their expectations for a bailout, based on not having enough votes and President Bush saying "don't call us, we'll call nobody." Don't worry guys, our expectations for any of you guys getting anything productive done is(SAVED BY) ZERO!!!No, seriously. Get a clue, guys. Did someone say Clue? Was it Dana Petrino in the White House Press Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-30891948247711498482008-11-19T14:07:00.010-05:002008-11-19T15:48:37.335-05:00How Do You Measure Yourself Against Other Presidents? By Height.Hugh Hewitt records the surface data of the American economy on this past election day to begin his assault on the President-Elect:When Barack Obama was elected:The inflation rate was 3.7%Unemployment was 6.5%The prime was at 4%The Dow closed at 9,625The NASDAQ closed at 1,780The S&P closed at 1,005Oil was $60 a barrel.U.S. monthly domestic oil production: appx 155 million barrelsU.S. proven oil Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-70754521465335390012008-11-19T13:09:00.009-05:002008-11-19T13:51:24.800-05:00Blessed For You; Nead Urgint Reply; Relative, Hot Apple Pie, DeceasedIf you don't know who's the sucker at the table after giving away $400,000 to a Nigerian email scam, then you . . . HOLY CRAP! YOU BLEW $400,000 ON A NIGERIAN EMAIL SCAM!:SWEET HOME, Ore. — An Oregon woman who is out $400,000 after falling for a well-known Internet scam says she wasn't a sucker or an easy mark.Janella Spears of Sweet Home says she simply became curious when she received an e-mailWarm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-67206440293385556272008-11-19T13:08:00.004-05:002008-11-19T13:19:40.917-05:00On HovercarsMitt Romney's Op-Ed in the New York Times just about nails my sentiment on the proposed auto bailout. In my opinion, the most difficult aspect of the Romney plan will be dealing with the unions, who have become extremely short-sighted. But life is never as easy as "here are your choices: (1) everybody loses their jobs or (2) some people get to keep their jobs, but with less pay." Are there any Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-3340154917716811962008-11-19T00:02:00.001-05:002008-11-19T00:02:15.271-05:00Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-25750288491681229042008-11-18T16:04:00.010-05:002008-11-18T16:59:27.511-05:00The Soreness of LosingThe non-issue of Obama's confirmed American birth, evidenced by the official short-form birth certificate produced months ago, is back in the tabloids and in the courts. Everything-baiter Alan Keyes isn't satisfied and reputable (put McCain dick fingers around the adjective) Christian news outlets like World Net Daily happily hand him the conch:The California Secretary of State should refuse to Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-15071559482802303832008-11-18T12:48:00.007-05:002008-11-18T15:54:48.462-05:0018,000 Gay Marriages . . . Now Imagine They Are StraightBefore Matthew McConaughey traded serious acting for seriously bad romantic comedies with Kate Hudson, he stepped away from the bong long enough to deliver one hell of a cinematic soliloquy at the end of A Time To Kill.Up against a vengeful all-white jury, eager to execute Samuel L. Jackson for his vigilante murder of two white youths, retribution for their brutal rape of Jackson's teenage Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-77826810513468327902008-11-18T09:59:00.005-05:002008-11-18T10:21:36.269-05:00***UPDATE*** Socialism Not on March; Paulson's Hubris, Conversely, Is I didn't want to update my previous Socialism post because, like Socialism, it produced long lines and red tape and I didn't want to make it any longer and less efficient. So this is an update, but in a new post. If you want to know about Socialism from my old post, look here. But for those of you wondering about the bank bailout and the government taking shares in troubled banking institutions,Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-78820129409088736552008-11-17T15:53:00.000-05:002008-11-17T15:55:41.454-05:00When Doves CryReally, Prince? Really.Prince comes out - no, not out of the closet - but against gay marriage. I did not see this one coming.Andrew Sullivan has had it with the "dandy, feminized midget."Man, it really is Sodom and Gomorrah again for these bible-thumpers. Amazing how they parse the text and take what they need.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-78708274626927336172008-11-17T15:51:00.002-05:002008-11-18T10:18:20.290-05:00Is Socialism Upon Us? Um, no.Last week, several of our faithful contributors and I took on our friend James over at The Kansas Citian, having a spirited chat about his claim that "Democratic Socialism" has come now to America. I will not spend too much time recapping the debate, but if you wish to see its genesis, you may find it on his blog, to which you may link at left and you should read anyhow because it's just a good Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-31918563139555238782008-11-17T13:02:00.004-05:002008-11-17T13:12:46.377-05:00I'm Just Sayin' . . .Dennis Prager this morning speaking to a teacher-caller:"Look, we admire teachers. However we do not admire the teacher's union."Then some blather about "lefties" and "radicalism" and "fear."Not worth mentioning, except it reminded me of the go-to response of the far right for anyone with the temerity to trash Bush's policies in Iraq: "Stop criticizing the troops." "Look, we admire soldiers. Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-88664162283470121512008-11-16T20:26:00.009-05:002008-11-16T20:48:03.863-05:00Palin's Legs Pallin' Around With Hotness!Exhausted after the gauntlet of a nine-minute, four question press conference this week at the RGA conference in Miami, Governor Palin hit the pool for some well-deserved rest and relaxation, taking a break from the 2012 election stump.The Saracuda was not shy about showing off her stems. Yowsers! And true to her word, her beverage of choice is Diet Dr. Pepper.When asked for comment about the Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-78460968737891978502008-11-16T15:17:00.010-05:002008-11-17T12:58:20.516-05:00No More Gadgets!President-Elect Obama's transition team interviewed Gilbert Lowell and Louis Skolnick this week for a new cabinet post: Secretary of Tools. Neeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds! Our first yuppie president will lose his toys on January 20:For years, like legions of other on-the-move professionals, Obama has been a heavy user of his BlackBerry. The device, basically a phone and a hand-held computer, has Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-86776428900956975522008-11-15T21:53:00.000-05:002008-11-16T00:10:58.418-05:00Assassination Of Liberalism By The Coward Dennis Miller"I don't mean to go on a rant, folks, but . . . "Highfalutin, GOP nozzle Dennis Miller says Sarah Palin is a "great dame." He regards the appearance of the good-looking Governor's "great sex life" as the source of bile coming Palin's way courtesy of a coterie of left-leaning ice queens, presiding over cold, dour lives and marriages according to Miller, in the oppressive chasteness of Manhattan's Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-6198391111712615192008-11-15T21:50:00.005-05:002008-11-15T22:43:55.334-05:00Gretawatch: The Lantern-Jawed Banshee Continues To Stalk PalinGreta continues to shill for Governor Palin, declaring her "the front runner" for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2012. Interviewing a local Miami journalist about the Republican Governors Association conference this week (or, as Greta puts it, Sarah Palin's vetting process meet-n-greet for vice presidential hopefuls), Van Susteren and her lantern jaw gushed over Palin's big reception Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-52999445395244182822008-11-15T20:07:00.002-05:002008-11-15T20:09:33.651-05:00Palin As President . . .Nice. Got a grin out of me.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-21604157192496564192008-11-15T13:34:00.004-05:002008-11-15T15:09:46.840-05:00"Soul Fixers" To The Left Of Me, "Healers" To The RightOne of Michelle Malkin's compassionate and tolerant readers reminds us that lost in the California Proposition 8 furor is Christian benevolence:Palmdale resident James Jackson, a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints who gave $1,000 to the Proposition 8 campaign, said he felt that the good works of his church had been forgotten in the midst of attention on the protests about the vote.“I’m notWarm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-72021616072210993342008-11-14T22:36:00.003-05:002008-11-14T22:51:21.786-05:00Memory Refresher: Dick MorrisLest we forget:On August 29, 1996, Morris resigned from the Clinton campaign after reports surfaced that he had been involved with a prostitute. A tabloid newspaper had obtained and published a set of photographs of Morris and the woman on a Washington, D.C., hotel balcony. The Electronic Telegraph reported unverified claims that in order to impress the woman, Sherry Rowlands, Morris invited her Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-75912146834899781942008-11-14T13:56:00.001-05:002008-11-14T13:56:34.687-05:00Miss Precious PerfectFor you, Jack Knowledge. Affleck embodies the globe-headed diva.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-6829807083548600352008-11-14T10:50:00.005-05:002008-11-14T14:07:51.914-05:00U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops Speaks; Reminds Me They're LunaticsSo, President-Elect Obama has not even taken office yet and he's getting threats from religious groups - play nice or else. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, or NAMBLA for short, has issued a statement. And it wasn't exactly a statement of unabashed congratulations.The statement...also state[s] that the election was not a referendum on abortion, and will suggest that aggressive Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-37945610265736982542008-11-14T10:14:00.001-05:002008-11-14T10:19:32.356-05:00Shame on you, Sir, and by "you" I mean YOUNow don't take this the wrong way, but MSNBC's Keith Olbermann has been paying very close attention to you and your actions lately and, suffice it to say, he's not impressed. In fact, he's had it up to here with you and your crap. He's even taken the time to devote a Special Comment to you. Just take it like a man and move on. If you complain you'll just be feeding the news cycle with more Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-28976509820673814662008-11-13T22:21:00.005-05:002008-11-13T22:30:29.775-05:00Warm Apple Pie Calls It! Hillary Cometh!Not to toot my own horn, but I'm tooting it! I called this nugget two weeks ago: The Associated Press reports Hillary Clinton is being tapped as President-Elect Obama's Secretary of State.A cagey, astute move by Obama if the story pans out. Absolutely perfect role for Hillary and her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits. She's earned the post. Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-79965453598930968712008-11-13T17:36:00.007-05:002008-11-13T18:00:40.508-05:00Joe the Plumber Starts Website; Charges for FreedomProtector of all things freedomish and toilety, Joe the Plumber has got his own website up and running here. There appears to be a movement afoot - a movement to "help[] one another in times of need." Sounds socialist! Say it ain't so, Joe! But rest assured, he's just trying to lead the "backbone" of our country (I could have sworn it was the plumber's crack) to freedom. But there's a catch - Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-5170976186741881302008-11-13T16:17:00.004-05:002008-11-13T16:33:26.122-05:00McCain Advisor a Hoax: Palin Still May Not Know Africa is ContinentAccording to The New York Times, one of the most blogged about tidbits leaked from the McCain campaign in the aftermath of the election was nothing more than a piece of an elaborate hoax. When FoxNews quoted an unnamed McCain advisor as stating that Palin did not know that Africa was a continent, the blogosphere exploded with bellowing laughter, and the traditional media followed suit. This blog Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-52374844856530363122008-11-13T14:08:00.006-05:002008-11-13T14:22:35.018-05:00National Enquirer Shocker? Cindy Redistributes Her Saliva?The National Enquirer reports Cindy McCain has been canoodling with another Maverick. And they have a money shot from April 2006 at the Tempe Music Festival with Cindy probing her paramour's back molars with her lizard tongue.When asked for comment, Sam Joe Wurzelbacher defended, "look, it's not me."Take it with a grain of salt, but ask John Edwards if he thinks the Enquirer uses credible Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-54178843631760671822008-11-13T13:59:00.001-05:002008-11-13T14:01:50.455-05:00Photo Essay of the Day We Changed For the Better The future is now.Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-53017070641989034562008-11-13T13:17:00.003-05:002008-11-13T13:34:30.393-05:00The "Lantern-Jawed Banshee" Stalks Palin!All praises due Jack Knowledge for encapsulating Greta Van Susteren's visage in three words.John Stewart notes Greta's disturbing fixation on the Governor of Alaska towards the end of the clip.Oh, and here's a portion of Greta's interview with Sarah Palin you did not see "On The Record" because, according to Gretawire, "even two hours . . . wasn't enough for our conversation":You know, maybe if Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-8879174338604437602008-11-13T12:44:00.006-05:002008-11-13T14:05:46.516-05:00A Mandate To LootAllow me to introduce you to the independent oversight board charged with monitoring the $700 billion bailout.You want me to appoint some folks, you shiftless Congressional layabouts. You make me sick:In the six weeks since lawmakers approved the Treasury's massive bailout of financial firms, the government has poured money into the country's largest banks, recruited smaller banks into the Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-78746922734996097292008-11-12T19:46:00.009-05:002008-11-12T20:06:13.617-05:00Sarah's Long Kiss Goodbye On Television Vaya con dios tambien, senorita, tu "betchada".From a Yglesias reader commenting on Sarah Palin's prospects in 2012:[L]osing VP’s don’t take blame. But their track record post-defeat is abysmal. It’s a sure way to never get elected President, and almost as sure a way to never get your party’s nomination. Here’s a list, pre-Palin:John EdwardsJoe LiebermanJack KempDan QuayleLloyd BentsenGeraldine Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-13043074974870288132008-11-12T19:36:00.003-05:002008-11-12T19:38:36.338-05:00POTATOE BREAKING NEWS: She'll be back!In a world without alien boundaries... This film is not yet rated.Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-30228200849152525702008-11-12T18:42:00.007-05:002008-11-12T19:24:37.416-05:00November 5, 2012James Pethokoukis predicts a one-term Obama presidency only negative 63 days into an Obama administration. What happened to the media honeymoon for the first negative 100 days?:That's right, the "O" in "Obama" may stand for "One Term." For starters, there's a strong chance that when voters head to the polls on Nov. 2, 2010, they likely will still think the economy is awful. Not much debate about Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-27412130753964108402008-11-12T17:48:00.005-05:002008-11-12T18:06:06.705-05:00Still On The Stump, Sarah?We continue to discuss Vice Presidential loser Sarah Palin because she remains topical, refusing to "give up the ghost," rattling her old campaign chains and haunting the airwaves with her used-up rhetoric. Today on CNN:BLITZER: Because, you know, during a campaign, every presidential campaign, things are said, it's tough, as you well know, it gets sometimes pretty fierce out there. And during Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-51127638603075663312008-11-12T16:48:00.003-05:002008-11-12T17:13:32.113-05:00The Fairness of the Fairness DoctrineSerendipity offers a nice recitation of the battleground's history, but may throw in too quickly with the Democrats' purported desire to thrust fairness on the right-wing radio infrastructure:For the last two decades, Rush Limbaugh, and his many clones that dominate our airwaves, have grown increasingly bolder in their vilification of opponents. A constant stream of extremist Right Wing Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-901309264990939352008-11-12T14:20:00.003-05:002008-11-12T14:39:36.770-05:00Senator Palin? Yes, you read that right...Now that the smoke from the burning wreckage of the GOP ticket has started to clear, Sarah Palin, in addition to serving members of the media moose chili and moose hot dogs, is mulling over how best to keep giving me material to write about her.Senator Ted Stevens appears to be the very best way, it would seem.The embattled Sen. Ted Stevens is still in a tight race for his seat against DemocraticPat Batemannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-69275005926213634132008-11-12T14:15:00.003-05:002008-11-12T14:30:11.756-05:00MADNESS!From CBS News:CBS News correspondent Priya David spoke with several compensation consultants who said that, even in this economy, firms are worried that, if they don't pay out the bonuses, they'll lose their top talent -- people they want to keep around for when pastures turn green again. On The Early Show Wednesday, David reported that lawmakers and taxpayers alike are concerned about where the Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-55015164964394881172008-11-12T13:09:00.003-05:002008-11-12T13:20:08.731-05:00How Can You Be So Obtuse, Detroit?Thomas Friedman recalls being flabbergasted at our American car manufacturers' shortsightedness:Last September, I was in a hotel room watching CNBC early one morning. They were interviewing Bob Nardelli, the C.E.O. of Chrysler, and he was explaining why the auto industry, at that time, needed $25 billion in loan guarantees. It wasn’t a bailout, he said. It was a way to enable the car companies toWarm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-81294189006217875802008-11-12T12:50:00.004-05:002008-11-12T13:03:30.093-05:00"Our First Colored President"Lindsay Lohan: Actress. Comedienne. Impresario. Auteur. Cocaine Hoover. Wordsmith. Moron:"It's an amazing feeling, our first COLORED president." Well, at least she didn't say our first "negra" president or "dat dem boy der is miscegenated!"Lohan also claims that celebrities helped influence the election by getting out the vote. I contend that Obama would have won Utah if it wasn't for Lohan's, Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-33203316126751557732008-11-12T12:20:00.003-05:002008-11-12T12:49:28.530-05:00Johnny LawDriving towards the silver mines on the outskirts of Butte, Montana for work this morning, I was struck by the abuse of power exhibited by the police officer in the car in front of me.We pulled up to a red light, the police car third in line waiting to proceed, my car behind his. It was an unusually long light and the cop had run out of patience. He blared his siren, crossed the double yellow Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-48094007655972215492008-11-11T20:34:00.002-05:002008-11-11T20:36:10.771-05:00The Realization Part II Must be a hell of a thing finding out you're the next President of the United States.Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-68673781336348382002008-11-11T19:05:00.005-05:002008-11-11T19:12:40.246-05:00Who Is Jack Knowledge?He or she is the blogging equivalent of Cringer because he or she is "scared of his [or her] own shadow." When the media starts snooping around, trying to figure out his or her identity, he or she cowers under WAP's legs, shivering with terror."Jack Cringer, stop trembling. The blog audience is our friend."Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-53782528122310853082008-11-11T17:05:00.000-05:002008-11-11T17:05:27.200-05:00U.S. to invade Greenland, Denmark, OceanBREAKING: The New York Times is reporting today that a hydrogen bomb is missing from the U.S.'s arsenal, and Greenland, Denmark and The Ocean are prime suspects. The H-bomb has been missing for 40 years. *gulp*When last seen, the bomb was one of four aboard an Air Force B-52 bomber that crashed on a frozen bay near Thule Air Force Base in northern Greenland on Jan. 21, 1968. At first, all four Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-45412117377759572602008-11-11T15:56:00.005-05:002008-11-11T16:10:12.263-05:00Warm Apple Pie RevealedVocabulary and erudition seem familiar? Verbal dexterity and grace distinctive, but difficult to place? Oscar Wilde? Mark Twain? Garrison Keilor? Close. Though I am loathe to unveil the secret identity of our very own Warm Apple Pie, the combination of his remarkable eloquence and his admirable patriotism compels me. Behold, fulfilling his end of the social contract Rousseau spoke of as Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-10001928177786083612008-11-11T12:49:00.007-05:002008-11-11T13:29:43.867-05:00F**k AIG! And F**k You Too Terry Bradshaw!Will AIG ever learn? Will Congress ever learn to just let hulking, incondite corporations succumb to "natural causes" - i.e., greed, graft and excess? Will the citizenry ever learn to stop electing congressional nitwits who spend like Sarah Palin at Neiman Marcus?
After over $100 billion in eleemosynary outreach from our socialist government, the beer keeps flowing like wine at AIG swank-fests. Warm Apple Pienoreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-32437662019033016072008-11-11T10:53:00.008-05:002008-11-11T13:07:29.898-05:00New Era of CivilityAlways rather (pronounced "raaah-ther" because I'm British nobility, as far as you know) genteel, the United States Congress and its members are taking great pains to restore an era of civility and respect to Washington. In the immediate wake of President-elect Obama's historic election, members of Congress of both parties have been falling all over themselves to speak in gracious and Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-79265837233849626332008-11-11T08:40:00.004-05:002008-11-11T11:07:29.189-05:00Palin on Election Loss: It's those damned MexicansGovernor Palin spoke to Fox News, and Fox News studiously avoided trying to make her look stupid. Unfortunately, You Betcha! can't see an open microphone without deep-throating it with her gag-reflex-free ignorance. She said she was not surprised at the GOP loss, considering that it represented the same failed policies of the previous eight years - most of which were the fault of the Republicans.Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-12839621565772941662008-11-10T23:25:00.000-05:002008-11-10T23:25:17.938-05:00Energy IndependanceRecently horse-whipped GOP candidate for president, Sen. John McCain, became well-known throughout the campaign for his insistence that America possessed the renewable energy resources to become completely energy independent. McCain, according to scientists and energy industry experts, was wrong. Of course, I'm guessing none of those so-called "experts" knew that McCain was talking about his own,Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-67226937527673583972008-11-10T18:36:00.008-05:002008-11-11T10:25:07.552-05:00The Repo Man Is ComingDuke: The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am. Otto: That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me. Duke: Yeah, but it still hurts.Word on he street - or more precisely, TPM - is that Republican repo men have hopped a flight to Wasilla to reclaim the parrot's pantsuits:Palin's father, Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-3552402329578091592008-11-10T18:32:00.003-05:002008-11-10T19:37:23.437-05:00Rewriting historyThe Anchorage Daily News interviewed Gov. Sarah Palin yesterday, and it is clear that she is going to continue her pattern of evasive, non-sensical and misleading responses to simple questions. Her answers ranged from silly to delusional to lying, but don't be fooled; this is a smart woman intent on rewriting history.Reflecting on what went wrong in the campaign, Gov. Palin expressed her Jack Knowledgenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-4477195617265420862008-11-10T15:03:00.002-05:002008-11-10T15:16:40.761-05:00The Obama FilesLondon's Daily Telegraph has published this list of fifty things you, yes you, might not know about PEBO. Among the most interesting are:He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comicsHe was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at basketballHe has read every Harry Potter book He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while Defective Pantsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4619629054181832315.post-56897339307051042552008-11-10T14:12:00.004-05:002008-11-10T14:48:26.823-05:00The Flip Side of Obama's VictorySometimes when someone who you expect to screw up most of the time because they have a history of doing so does not screw up, you are overly effusive with your praise and blunder into actually being insulting and reading more into one victory than is appropriate. This is a phenomenon happening with great frequency right now in the "rest of the world" and its reaction to Senator Obama's sweeping Pat Batemannoreply@blogger.com3